Erase My Memories

You would think Bethany is a typical American teen girl, until she attempts suicide. She spends a couple months in a psych ward, and when she is let out, her parents send her to live with her mom's best friend in London, who just happens to have a son her age, Niall Horan. The two become very close friends, but when Bethany gets to know Niall's best friend, Harry Styles...Bethany starts to grow attached, much to her horror. And much more, Harry too has quite the past. Can the two over-look the past and present problems, or will life itself destroy their relationship?

*Includes self harm, alcohol, sex, and cursing*


43. Chapter 42

After I got to school the next morning, I was trying hard to act totally normal around Niall. It was more difficult than usual because of what Harry had said to me, but I couldn’t make myself believe that there was still something between Niall and Amy.

“Are you okay babe?” Niall asked me. I shrugged, avoiding his gaze.

“I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Is there something on your mind?”

“Not really. I just had troubles sleeping is all.” Niall went silent. I didn’t know if it was an ‘okay I’ll drop it’ silence or an ‘I’m onto you’ kind of silence.

When I got to first period, Louis and Cady were watching me closely. I put my head down so I could rest since I had no interest in what was going on around me. Not that I really ever have cared. I was the student that kept to myself and slept in the corner. I had no need to listen if I only was going to leave at some point.

“Bethany?” I glanced up and saw Louis looking at me still while Cady took notes.


“Are you alright? Is this whole situation with Harry and Niall getting to you?” I shrugged and looked down.

“I’m honestly just tired.”

“As always?” Louis asked sassily. I shrugged and nodded.

“I normally sleep in class…I don’t see what’s any different.”

“True…” With that, Louis turned back around to face the front while I put my head back down and fell back asleep.


As the day dragged on, I barely said five words in total to anybody. I had no interest in talking to people since I had so much running through my head. Part of me craved, screamed for Harry but the other part of me wanted, needed Niall. I sighed out loud on the way home and put my head on the window.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Niall asked. I jumped slightly, not expecting him to say anything.

“I’m honestly just tired, Niall, okay? Please leave me alone.” Niall coughed awkwardly and nodded.

“Sure thing; sorry babe.” He went quiet for the rest of the ride and as soon as we got back to the house, I went running up to my room and fell onto my bed, not sure if I wanted to cry, sleep, or do both. After about two minutes, I was crying into my pillow, unsure of everything I thought I knew.

I used to be so sure that I wanted Niall, then Harry, now I don’t know anymore. I used to be so sure about wanting to go back to America, and then stay in England, and now I’m not sure. What was I supposed to do if I didn’t know what to do anymore? What was I to do if I couldn’t even tell Niall what was really going on; that Harry was getting to my head and it was all a big misunderstanding? Why couldn’t I do that? Well…because I had a feeling something was up and I knew Niall would deny it all because he’s perfect; he’s just too damn perfect. 

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