Erase My Memories

You would think Bethany is a typical American teen girl, until she attempts suicide. She spends a couple months in a psych ward, and when she is let out, her parents send her to live with her mom's best friend in London, who just happens to have a son her age, Niall Horan. The two become very close friends, but when Bethany gets to know Niall's best friend, Harry Styles...Bethany starts to grow attached, much to her horror. And much more, Harry too has quite the past. Can the two over-look the past and present problems, or will life itself destroy their relationship?

*Includes self harm, alcohol, sex, and cursing*


40. Chapter 39

“Where have you been?” Maura questioned when I got back home around dinner time.

“I was out with Gabriel.”

“Why?!” Niall demanded.

“Why would you care? You have Amy to deal with.”

“I’m not seeing Amy!” Niall pushed.

“Sure, whatever.” I shrugged and made my way up to my bedroom. I climbed out my window and sat myself on the roof. I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked up at the stars slowly beginning to appear.

“Mom…why did you have to do this to me…” I whispered to myself.

“Because they love you.” I jumped fifty feet, almost falling off the roof only to find Harry standing behind me. He pulled himself out and sat next to me.

“You scared the shit out of me.”

“I noticed.” Harry said, half smirking. I half smiled and looked back up at the stars ad sighed. “Do you not want to be here?”

“Honestly, I’d prefer to be here but…everything here is so different.”

“How so?”

“Here everyone wants to know me, cares about me…it’s scary since it’s never really been like that in America.”

“You mean people were awful to you?”

“For lack of better words, yeah…it’s like…I don’t know. People here like me; people didn’t really care for me back home. I had my small group of friends and that was it.”

“I care for you…”

“Harry…you know we can’t ever be together…”

“Why…?” Harry’s voice got very small and I suddenly felt awful for saying it.

“For one, I’m with Niall and you’re his best friend…”

“I know but…” Harry reached for my hand and intertwined my fingers.

“But nothing…I care for you very much but we’re both so screwed up…”

“Don’t you think we could save each other?”

“Isn’t that just stupid fairytale shit?”

“Can’t we at least try?”

“I wish it worked like that…”

“So you’re admitting to liking me?”

“I won’t deny it Harry; I do like you, but because I’m with Niall, we can’t be together nor will I let it happen. Niall is like a brother to me…I couldn’t disrespect him like that.” Harry got quiet and nodded.

“Fine.” He stood up and crawled back into my window, disappearing. I put my face in my hands immediately after I knew he was gone and started sobbing into my hands. What did I just do…?



Fine; if she wanted to be like that, I would do what I wanted. I would party, I would drink, I would get back into my drugs…I tried to clean up for her but if she can’t accept it, why quit? It’s not like she would notice anyway.

“Harry, you okay? You look angry…” Niall asked as I passed him on the way to my room.

“I’m fucking fantastic.” I grumbled, pushing past him. I wasn’t going to deal with her and her shit anymore. We were kids once, but we aren’t anymore. Now I was going to move on. I wasn’t going to let my feelings for her control me anymore. I was going back to the Harry I’ve always been; mean, nasty, jail bound, asshole.



“Babe?” Bethany looked up and glanced at me with tears in her eyes. “Awe baby, don’t cry. I swear there is nothing between Amy and I. What we had is gone- it’s over. I want you.” She didn’t say anything but she let me sit next to her. I pulled her into a sitting side hug and she rested her head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” She whispered. I smiled and kissed her head.

“I love you more.” She sniffled and nuzzled my neck. I kissed her head again and pulled her closer. There was no way I was letting Amy come between us ever again.



The fact that Niall thought it was Amy that was bothering me was a very good thing. If he found out it was Harry that was bothering me, he’d have a fit. But at this point, I could barely care. I was denying to myself my feelings for Harry and only pushing him away from me. That however, was probably for the better since it would possibly force my feelings for Harry away. I wouldn’t be around Harry and I would have Niall’s full attention…which was all I needed.  

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