Give Me Love

Tyler's head, has never been a happy place to be, between eating disorders, self harm issues, and an mental illness she is not aware of, she finds herself questioning why she is alive most of the time. When her career takes an unexpected turn throwing in friendships, lust, love and of course, struggles. Can Tyler pull through it? Will she be able to find what she needs to save her life?

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3. From The First Look

 

Tyler's POV: 

Okay yeah I didn’t put it the right way, but that’s what it felt like…

 “W-what?” Devin said softly.

“He wants me to go on tour with One Direction, as their personal photographer for something to do with a fan video or movie or something.” I whisper knowing Devin’s going to freak out… 3, 2, 1,

 

“You have to be kidding me? How is that worse? That would be awesome Tyler you have to do it, c'mon Ty, live a little.” Devin was basically bouncing off the walls.

Why would I want to go, take pictures of 5 spoiled kids being happy all the fucking time? Be away from the only family member I have?

 

I storm off, running up the stairs into my room, tear running down my face uncontrollably. Did he want me to go? Live a little, why would I want to after all I've been through? Does he not like me, it made me sick even thinking that I am really alone. I could hear Devin outside my door apologizing, thank god it is locked, I turn up Ed Sheeran- Kiss Me too full blast.

 

 Go into my bath room, start the shower, undress myself, step in just letting the tears come out, after a minute of that I step out, keep the water ruining but go over to my bed. Still soaking wet, go under, and grab my pink jewelry box, open it, and pull something I use a little to often.

 

I step back into the shower, and build up the courage to drag the razor across my wrist, a few times, and then just sit.  This isn't the first time and it certiantly won't be the last, but I guess there is that part of me that thinks 'maybe you should do this to yourself' 'don't hate yourself, please' so with the fight in my head, it always takes a while to start with the first cut, but once I start, I have a hard time stopping. The pain shouldn't feel good, but it does, it's like a reality check, bringing me back into this world to prove I can get hurt, and I can be broken. I finally stopped bleeding, I turned the shower off, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around, next I sat beside the toilet, and you can guess what I did next. I finally got up the courage to speak with Devin after I dressed myself and covered my cuts. I went downstairs and saw him, he was broken. He had his head in his hands and I could hear a soft sob, but he clearly heard me coming down the stairs, he tried to wipe his eyes, but I could tell he was crying.

“Listen Tyler, you know what I meant, it’s an amazing opportunity, but if you don’t want to, I support you no matter what, you’re my best friend and I love everything about you. And I will miss you more then anything, but every opportunity I get, I will come visit. “ He finished, he got chocked up a bit, but then at that moment I knew, I had to do it for Devin.

“I’ll do it” I whispered so quiet I wasn’t even sure if he heard me until he replied.

“You make me so proud love.” We hugged it out, but then I decided I should call my boss to tell him I’ll take the job.

I think that's one of the main reasons I am this way I don't do anything for myself, I do it to please other people in hope they'll like me, I had a hard enough time in High School just getting by with one friend. 

~*~

I hung up, that went better then I expected, it turns out the boys are in London and were all going for a late dinner to get to know each other. I run to Devin, to tell him and then I start getting ready, Devin picks out my coral pink flowy dress that goes to right above my knees, with my cheetah heels, considering I am really short this will be good. (A/N Tyler’s 5’2)

 

I do my usual make up, wear a lot of bracelets and my black cross necklace. Good thing I have Devin because I would have gone in sweats! It’s now 6:40, and a car will be down stairs to get me any minute, I grab my black clutch, walk downstairs with Devin, I see the care, I kiss Devin goodbye, he’s gay, I am allowed to kiss him on the lips!

A curly haired boy pops out and opens the door for me, I walk to the care door and look up to him face, his green eyes just took me away.

“T-tthanks "  I stutter still trying to get out of his stare.

~~~~~Author's Note~~~~~

Thank you guys so much for the reads, every single one means so much! This is my first fan fiction so I'm sorry it's a little slow/: 

Please 'like' this chapter and feel free to comment, it means a lot. xo <3

- Summer x,

 
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