Give Me Love

Tyler's head, has never been a happy place to be, between eating disorders, self harm issues, and an mental illness she is not aware of, she finds herself questioning why she is alive most of the time. When her career takes an unexpected turn throwing in friendships, lust, love and of course, struggles. Can Tyler pull through it? Will she be able to find what she needs to save her life?

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9. Dirty Little Secret

 

Tyler’s POV:

 

I waited outside for Harry, it was really hot out and I just woke up, I had time to shower and do my makeup before Harry came, but I was just wearing my spandex and a tank top, to early to take the time to get dressed. I am not a morning person.

 

I see Harry pull up, I get in the car and just stare at him, I was furious, I mean it was my fault to for agreeing to go back, but I had no idea what to expect, but their I was, on the front cover of about 3-4 magazines. I didn’t look bad in the picture but Harry and I were holding hands.

 

“Look I’m sorry, but everything’s going to be okay though Simon has a plan.”  Harry pleaded.

 

I looked away and didn’t bother to look at him until we got inside they’re apartment. I walked in and Louis was sitting on the couch, I sat beside him not wanting to talk to Harry, it was really awkward after what happened last night… I grab my phone to check Facebook. A couple girls who I use to go to school with messaged me asking if I was actually sleeping with Harry and that we should hang out sometime. No thank you.

 

I didn’t reply to their messages and then went to twitter. I gained about 3000 followers and had a ton of mentions. I mean I know my face was on a magazine but they didn’t know my name.

 

These girl are crazy, I am staring at my phone at disbelief, some of the things that these girls are saying, are terrible.

 

She’s a model? Wow they set their standards low. @TylerWoodluck

I guess it’s true Harry will fuck anything with a vagina. @TylerWoodluck

Ew, @Harry_Styles you know you can do better then that slut. @TylerWoodluck

 

I've always been an insecure girl, and I don't think these girl realize how much these words actually hurt. Tears start to fill up in my eyes, I can't take it.

“Tyler what wrong?” I get up, throw my phone on the couch and walk to try to find their bathroom.

 

I find it and look my self in, letting the tears fall. I hear a knock on the door.

“Tyler, those girls are just jealous don’t listen to them, you’re beautiful babe.” Louis says and tries to open the door.

“Common just let me talk to you.” Louis pleads.

 

I don’t say anything, I don’t move, after about 10 minutes of his asking me to open the door and me no replying a single word. “I’ll give you sometime, but I’m here if you need anything.”

 

Bullshit I thought to myself, everyone says they’ll be there for me. When In reality they’re the ones that screw me over. Harry clearly didn’t care the fact that I was beating myself up over this.

 

I have always had self-esteem issues, and this just brings me to my past. I could cut here, they would find out. I needed to get out of here. I stand up, and look in the mirror. My make up is everywhere; I wash it off with water. My eyes are still red and puffy, and Louis and Harry have to see me with no makeup on, wonderful. Another insecurity thing, I can't stand going into public and not looking at least okay, I know I'm not pretty, but it makes me feel better about myself.

 

I take a couple deep breathes and unlock the door then step out of the bathroom, I turn to my left to see Harry leaning against the wall with tears in his eyes. I try to step past his to leave but he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” I scream.

“Not until we talk!” Harry yells back at me.

Were in his room and he gently puts me down on his bed. I look down not wanting him to look at me.

“Just let me leave, I’ll quit my job just leave me alone.” I whisper with tears running down my face

“That’s not necessary, just let me talk.” I nod agreeing to let Harry speak.

 

“Simon has a plan.” He takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes so it won’t look like he was crying but I can tell.

 

“Were going to say you’re my cousin and that you weren’t feeling well so I took you home and that you’re coming on tour with us for the photography, but also because your parents died. So Simon is going to bring paper for us to sign, we have to agree to it for a year or two.”

 

Harry trailed off, the only thing that I was thinking about was how he knew my parents died.

“How did you know about my parents?” I whispered quietly trying to hold the tears back.

 

“Simon told me, I am so sorry for your lose. When did it happen?”

“3 years ago, I was 15.”

“I am so sorry to hear love.” He pulled me in for a hug.

I didn’t hug back because if I was going to be his cousin I couldn’t have feelings for him, and after last night. That was going to be really hard. I pulled away.

“That brings me to my second thing.” Harry spoke softly; he lifted my chin so my eyes met his.

Gah, they were so beautiful. No I internally frowned at myself.

 

“You are so beautiful, with or without makeup, don’t let those girls get to you, they just get protective over us, but I will protect you in everyway.”

 

Why did Harry have to be so nice to me, I was staring at his lips now, I could see he was staring at mine. I smiled.

“Thank you, you don’t know how much this means to me.”

“No problem.” Harry smiled and leaned in. No I can’t, but.. Maybe? No.

 

I moved my head to the left and kissed Harry’s cheek. Oh god, I needed to get home. Harry looked at me confused.

“Is Niall, Zayn, or Liam here too?” I asked trying to change the subject, plus I wouldn’t mind talking to Niall, we haven’t spoke since that night, we had awkward eye contact at the club, but nothing else.

 

“No it’s just us if you want to-“ Harry smiled at me a big cheeky smile. But I interrupted him knowing what he was going to say. “I would like to talk to them if that’s possible.”

 

“Yeah, uhm, I'll call em' but if they ask we didn’t have sex last night, just other stuff…” He drifted off, why couldn’t they know? That doesn’t make sense to me but I wasn’t going to question him.

 

“Okay.” I stand up wanting to leave, Harry slowly trails behind me.

 

~*~

 

“You what?” He seemed confused and shocked.

“I mean I was drunk, he was too, so it’s not like it meant anything to him, but. I can’t say the same thing.” I stammered.

 Niall frowned at me. “Well looks like if you really do have feelings for him, they can’t go anywhere now.”

 

Niall and I have talked for the last hour about that happened and how awkward it’s going to be on tour, he even made me eat. Out of all the boys I have gotten along with him the best, it’s like a older brother- young sister relationship; and I didn’t want anything to ruin it.

 

“Simons going to be here any minute. He’ll explain the contract, don’t say anything, just nod and sign the papers.” Niall said to me in a more serious tone. “Even if you don’t agree with it.”

 

I heard a knock on the door. Niall got up from the couch in the living room and opened the door. There he was. Harry came out of his room. We didn’t talk after we left his room.

 

“Come here both of you.” Simon snarled.

Wow, he really is pleasant. I thought to myself sarcastically.

 

“So, the basic’s are, you have to stick with the story line we give you for the next 2 years, you have to keep in contact for a year after the tour, just go out for coffee or something, I don’t care. You can’t tell anyone; everyone who needs to know, knows. And finally, you cannot have any sort of relationship, consider you are now family.”

That last one hurt. I don't have a family, and I sure as hell won't pretend I do to save some pop stars ass, no one can replace my family. But I just nodded, Simon handed me the contract and I signed, Harry did the same.

“Thank you.” Simon grabbed the contract and was out the door. I sure as hell hope he wasn’t coming on tour, he clearly didn’t like me.

 

“Can you take me home now?” I asked Harry impatiently. 

 

He nodded and grabbed his keys, I hugged Niall goodbye and kissed his cheek.

 "Don't be to long Harold." Niall smirked.

I was confussed, Harry looked pissed and like he was going to punch him, I pulled on his arm until we were out of his flat.

Harry and I made our way to his car and started driving to my apartment complex in silence. We were almost there, and then Harry decided to start a conversation. “Are you okay with all of this?”

 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I asked puzzled. He couldn’t know that I actually enjoyed our night together.

 

“Just wondering, but, I never got to thank you for last night, I mean I’m sorry had it turned out, not how I wanted it too.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I wanted to take you out, get to know you, and then maybe let the night repeat it self.” He smiled at the last part. We arrived to my apartment and I haven’t replied. He stopped the car. “Well?”

 

I leaned into him and whisper oh so softly in his ear. “I mean, we just can’t be public, and not let anyone find out, I can keep a secret.” I said as seductively as possible, and kissed his neck. “Is this you inviting me inside?” He smirked, I continued kissing his neck, he let out a moan.

 

I pulled away pleased with myself. 

“Just for some tea, cousin.”  He parked the car and we rushed up to my apartment, It wasn’t even 3 yet, so we had a while till Devin returned.

 

We entered. He looked around amazed, it wasn’t as nice as his flat but it worked for Devin and I.

“No offense, but how do you afford this? It looks like Lou and I’ flat in L.A.”

 

“My parents cover it… Well you know what I mean. But I’ll show you my bedroom now.” I grabbed Harry’s hand and he just smiled.

We ran up the stairs and were in front of my door.

 

“It’s a little messy but don’t pay attention to it.” I laughed quietly, my room wasn’t bad, just not as clean as any other girls room.

 

“Believe me, that’s not what I am going to pay attention to.” He smirked, picking me up by my bum, I wrapped my legs around his torso.

We entered my room kissing. We were fighting for dominance, but it was still passionate. I could feel butterfly, this was just going to get harder to resist him..

“Remember, our little secret.” I said to Harry between kisses.

 

~~~~~Author's Note~~~~~

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