C'est La Vie

HIM: Niall James Horan. Irish. Boyband member. My best friend. The guy I am hopelessly in love with. All rolled up into one.
ME: Maxime Adelina Mercer. American, but of French descent (cue to my name, in case you couldn’t tell). Personal trainer/physical therapist for previously mentioned boyband. Eternally friendzoned.

Will Niall ever see me as more than just a friend? Or is this just the life I'm destined to live? Being friendzoned by the boy who means more than the world to me.

Find out more in "C'est La Vie"


15. It's Time




"Good luck you guys!" I called out to the 5SOS boys as they left me to go get ready for their show.

"See ya Max!" Ashton called out with a wave and one of his signature smiles.

"Laters!" Calum shouted as well, trailing off behind Luke and Michael.

I smiled to myself as I walked towards the front of the arena to go see my boys. I loved hanging out with the 5SOS guys, they were hilarious. And not to mention insanely hot, I mean let's be serious.

I heard the fans before I saw them and took a deep breath. The boys' fans could be so overwhelming, especially the ones who knew me. I couldn't even begin to imagine how they would react when they found out about whatever me and Niall are. They'd probably murder me, or draw a really bad picture of me and make it a viral reaction picture.

I caught the eye of a security guard and he nodded at me, coming over and walking me around the barricade and into the arena. The fans went crazy when they saw me and I smiled and waved, hoping they didn't take too many pictures because I was sweaty from playing soccer with 5SOS.

Wait, since when do I give a fuck?

Oh that's right, I don't.

Once inside the arena I thanked the security guard and started heading towards the boys' dressing room. I always talk to them before each show, give them good lucks and such. Niall says I'm his good luck charm too, which is always nice to hear.

But what about Harry?

I couldn't lie to myself and say that something hadn't happened earlier. Something weird, something I couldn't explain even if I wanted to. He just looked at me and everything faded to black except him. It all just disappeared.

Including The Darkness.

I took a sharp breath as the memory hit me suddenly. It literally felt like someone punched me in the gut, and I had to stop and lean against a wall to catch my breath.

Except I couldn't.

The painful memory hit me in flashes like lightning, striking through my mind like a knife, cutting off every other thought.

I shut my eyes to try and focus on something else, but I couldn't.

It all came screaming back then, that painful memory from two years ago...


I remember the screaming.

"Just shut the fuck up Max!"

The crack of thunder.

"No, stop!"

More screams. My screams.

The rain pelting down, mixing with my tears.

My hands connected to his chest, shoving as hard as I can.

The thunder drowning out his screams as he--



I snapped out of it with a gasp as I heard my name. 

I opened my eyes and looked up, realizing that I had slid to the floor in my terrified state. I glanced around furiously, my eyes finally landing on a very worried looking Louis. My breathing was ragged and I had my hands tangled in my hair.

"Max?" Louis asked tentatively, slowly walking up to me and crouching so he could be eye level with me. "Max are you alright?"

I continued to take sharp intakes of breath, gulping as I tried to respond.

"Y-Yeah." I stuttered out, fighting back tears and looking around, making sure no one else had seen. "I'm f-fine Louis, I just uh, I-I've got a headache I'm going to leave."

"What?" Louis asked, confused as I stood up quickly. I started to wobble, feeling weak, and he grabbed my arm to steady me. "Max what's happening, you have to stay for the show, you--"

"No Louis I'm sorry I have to go, I-I'm sorry!" I shouted as I tore my arm from him and ran away from him down the corridor towards the back exit of the arena. 

"Wait! Max, wait!" 

I heard Louis calling after me but I had to get away. I had to leave, I had to get somewhere where I could breathe.

And with each pounding step I took, I could feel The Darkness taking over, seeping into my veins.




"So what exactly are you two?" Liam asked me as he was putting on his stage clothes. "Like is Max your girlfriend, or are you friends with benefits, or what?"

I shrugged, flopping down on the couch next to Zayn. "We're not an official couple yet, but we will be." I said confidently. "We're not friends with benefits, that's a stupid title, but we're definitely more than friends. We're just taking it slow until we decide to make it official."

"If she wants to be official that is." Zayn weighed in beside me. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Eh, I think she will. I know she's never had a relationship before but I mean, she knows me better than anyone, I think she knows I won't hurt her so she'll give me a chance." I replied coolly.

I understand where Zayn was coming from, we all know that Max isn't one for feelings or serious relationships. But like I said, I think since it's me she'll think differently. Hopefully.

I glanced around and saw that Harry was sitting across from me, scrolling through his phone absentmindedly, like he wasn't really there.

"You alright mate?" I asked him. He glanced up at me before narrowing his eyes at me.

I gave him a smug grin, I couldn't help it. I knew damn good and well he wasn't okay. He was pissed about me and Max being together, and that made me happy. I was getting the girl for the first time ever.

Harry composed himself quickly, taking in a deep breath and sitting up straighter.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He said quickly, looking away from me again.

I chuckled, glad that I was messing with him. He deserved it, after all.

Just as Liam was about to say something, a very confused and worried looking Louis walked in the room.

"Uh, I think we have a problem." He said seriously.

We all looked up at him, being able to tell he was serious just from the tone of his voice. And a serious Louis is something we don't see very often.

"What's wrong?" Liam asked as he was buttoning the last few buttons of his shirt.

Louis stepped further into the room and scratched the back of his head, furrowing his brow.

"Um, it's Max."

At the mention of Max's name, I immediately stood up, as did Harry.

"What's wrong? Where is she?" I asked quickly.

"Is she alright?" Harry asked as well, and I shot him a glare.

Louis was struggling to find the words. "She, uh, she left." He finally said, looking up at me.

"What?" I asked incredulously. "She left? But...she always stays for our show. She didn't even come tell me good luck."

"Tell us good luck." Harry said sharply from behind me. I rolled my eyes but ignored him.

Louis shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno mate, I just saw her a minute ago and she looked like she was about to cry, but then when I said her name she just snapped out of it. Then she said she had to go, and ran away from me."

I furrowed my brow. That's so weird for her to do. She has never missed a show of ours since she joined us almost eight months ago.

"Well why don't you just text her and see what's wrong?" Zayn suggested.

I nodded my head, turning and maneuvering around Harry to get to my phone. "Yeah, you're right, I'll just--"

"Boys! You're on!" Our stage manager, Mark, called out, sticking his head in the dressing room.


"No buts, leave the phone, time to go!" He yelled, ushering us out of the room and towards the stage. 




Three hours later...

I panted for breath as I pushed my legs as hard as they could go on the treadmill. As soon as I'd left the arena, I'd hailed a taxi and went straight back to the hotel we were staying at, changing and going to the gym. The only thing that could ever make me stop thinking (besides curly haired boys with green eyes, apparently) was working out. And for my own sake, I had to stop thinking about it.

I'd never worked this hard before, and I could feel my body protesting, dripping with sweat. But I couldn't stop, couldn't think. Just run.

The boys show was probably over, but I couldn't focus on that either. All I could focus on was the excess adrenaline running through my body.

I was all alone in the gym, focusing on nothing when the door opened behind me. I assumed it was just another hotel patron, forgetting that I had sessions lined up for after the boys show. And the first one was with Harry.

I was so focused on the run and expelling everything out of my mind, I didn't even hear him calling my name. 

Suddenly though, I felt him touch my arm and I screamed, coming out of my daze and almost falling off the treadmill. 

"Shit Max!" Harry shouted, reaching out to grab me as I started to tumble down.

I caught myself on the bar just in time, with Harry's help of course, and I placed my feet on either side of the tram as I shut the off button.

As the treadmill slowed down, I realized that I was having trouble breathing, my lungs not accustomed to such a long and strenuous run. When the tram finally stopped, I shrugged Harry's hand off of my arm, and stepped onto the gym floor, where my legs immediately gave out.

"Woah!" Harry called out as he caught me immediately, wrapping his arms around my waist and supporting my full weight.

My legs felt like jelly, I couldn't even stand, not to mention I was still having trouble catching my breath.

"I can't...stand..." I managed to gasp out, and Harry nodded, wordlessly helping me over to a bench.

"Here, drink something."

"No, I'm fine--"

"Shutup and drink it Max." He cut me off sternly, leaning down so he was eye level with me. 

As I shook my head and finally managed to lift my head to look at him, I was caught once again.

He was wearing gym shorts and a plain white tshirt, his hair pushed back with a red bandanna. His green eyes stared into mine with such an intensity I was actually kind of startled. Then the same thing that happened at the arena happened again.

Everything around me just started to fade into nothingness. My fatigue from the vigorous workout was pushed to the back of my mind, as well as the memory I had been running from all this time. Everything in the world just...disappeared.

Everything except for Harry.

I'm not sure who leaned in first, but not even a second passed by before our lips were just centimeters apart. Somehow though, I realized what was happening and jumped back.

"No, no, Harry stop." I said, putting my hand on his chest and pushing him away.

Just like I did with...


"You don't own me!"

"Just listen to m--"

"No, leave me alone!"

My palms to his chest, pushing forward with all my might.

The scream drowned out by thunder, as he goes tumbling--



Once again, I am startled out of The Darkness, my breathing finally picking up again. 

I looked around frantically, still stuck on that ledge, caught in the storm from two years ago.

"Max, Max! Look at me. Look. At. Me." Harry said, taking my face in his hands and looking at me.

I'm sure I looked a mess, just like I felt whenever I thought about it. When I went back to The Darkness.

And looking at Harry's face, his concern towards my well being, I finally broke.

I broke, just like I promised myself I never would. 

Bursting into tears, I leaned forward and fisted my hand in Harry's shirt, burying my face in his chest. He was startled, jumping at first, but soon enough he wrapped his arms around me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear to calm me down, rubbing my back.

I felt bad for him, I mean coming from the girl who never, ever cries to suddenly start crying hysterically in his arms? He had to be freaked out.

But the floodgates had been opened, and The Darkness had taken control yet again.

A few minutes passed, the only sound was my broken sobs into Harry's shirt, staining it for sure.

"Max." Harry finally said, barely a whisper. "Max, what is going on? What happened? Is this about Niall? Is this about...me?"

I managed to hold off my sobs momentarily and sit up, wiping my eyes.

"N-no." I stuttered, sniffing in a disgusting matter. I didn't care though. "It's nothing--"

"Oh cut the bullshit Max." Harry cut me off sternly. "You can't keep saying you're fine, not when you just cried on my shoulder like that. Tell me what's wrong." 

I was silent, looking down at my feet. I couldn't tell him about The Darkness. Nobody knew. It was deepest, darkest, most well-kept secret.

Suddenly, Harry took my hand in his own and lifted my chin with his index finger so I would look at him. He looked so sincere, so scared for me.

"Max. Tell me." He said ever so softly.

I took a deep breath, looking into his eyes. Eyes that I could trust. 

It was time.

"O-Okay." I stammered, nodding my head frantically. "I'll tell you. I'll tell you why I am the way I am. I'll tell you why my whole world is so...dark."



Author's Note:

Okay so I lied. The Darkness will be revealed NEXT chapter ;) It will be mostly flashback, and I'm super excited about it! Can't wait to see some of yalls reaction at this major plot twist :)

Who do you ship?! Hax? Nax? Those ship names suck, I know. I'm sorry. Whoops.

Comment belowwwwww!

Love you all :) xx

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