Yellow Diamonds (On Hold)

It's like you're screaming and no one can hear, you almost feel ashamed, that someone could be that important that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts, you feel hopeless like nothing can save you, and when it's over and it's gone...you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so that you could have the good.

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22. Chapter 15

 

I woke up to the baby kicking, again. It was happening a lot recently and I was fed up with it. I just couldn't wait for this baby to be born. I'm now 7 months pregnant and with Zayn, last I heard Niall was taking drugs again and tried to kill himself twice but he's not my problem anymore, even though I do miss him.                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "We can't just take it." "Sure we can." He pulled the trolley out and walked down the street. "Niall!" I called after him. "What princess?" "Wait up!" I ran to him and he picked me up. He sat me in the trolly and he ran down the street pushing me. I felt like a kid again and I felt rebellious. It was so much fun and that was when I knew he was mine.                          ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I sighed as I got up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. I closed the door and looked in the mirror at my stomach. Why was I suddenly feeling like I wanted Niall again? Like I needed him? I pulled down my trousers a bit and looked in the mirror at the inking he made on my ass. "Mine," I whispered. If only I was his. That's when the door opened. "Holly, you ok? I heard you get up and was worried," Zayn said groggily. "I'm fine," I replied pulling my trousers up again. "You miss Niall don't you?" "What?" "You miss him, I know you do. If you want to be with him then go, be with a druggie who doesn't give a fuck about you." "Zayn! Don't say that about him!" "BUT IT'S TRUE! YOU'RE JUST TOO STUCK UP TO BELIEVE IT!" "I'M NOT! I LOVED HIM ONCE ZAYN SO DON'T SAY THINGS ABOUT HIM!" "I CAN SAY WHAT I WANT ABOUT HIM!" He replied getting closer to me. I was backed up against the sink and scared. We barely ever argued and I couldn't help but think of what always happened when I was backed in a corner in an argument. "D-don't hit me," I whispered. "What?" "Don't hit me." "I'm not going to hit you." I suddenly felt relieved. "What made you think that?" I looked away from him and didn't answer. He put his finger under my chin and turned my face towards his. He looked me in the eyes. "He abused you didn't he?" I nodded and looked away again. He pulled me into a hug and I cried in his arms. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I was scared." "You've nothing to be scared about." We stood in each others arms for a while and right then I felt like I didn't want to know Niall. Why is everything so confusing?
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