invisible

INVISIBLE. I will be invisible. No one will see me. Lighter than a feather. No one will notice, no one will care until I'm zero. Nothing. Invisible. Gone. They will only care when I am gone.

Jinx is a 15 year old girl. Unsure of where she belongs and obsessed with the number on the scale. She doesn't have any friends, they might get in her way of becoming invisible. But one day, Jinx meets someone, who just might change her life forever.

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16. Someone

But am I?

Am I really gay?

Or do I just want someone.

Someone to finally love me.

Someone to finally care about me.

Someone to cuddle with and to hold hands.

Someone to listen to my problems even though they have their own to think about.

Someone that I can talk to endlessly on the phone hour after hour talking about everything.

The thing is, Stella doesn't do any of that.

She isn't a touchy type of girl. Let's just say she's in it more or less for the well, sex.

I mean, I get it, sex between us is great, but it seems like it is the only thing that she ever wants to talk about or do.

Sex this sex that, she came to the hospital and what was one of the first things she did, ask me if I would come out to the car with her so we could have sex.

Honestly, it is great sex. I love the way she feels against me. I love the noises she makes as she gets closer to her orgasm. I love her face as she squirts on my own face. I love the way she pleases me when she is done. Never getting impatient  with how long I take to cum. Or at how I haven't quite mastered the art of squirting yet. Don't get me wrong, I love all of it, but you would think eventually she would want something more.

We sit in the hospital waiting room with my father. They still haven't gotten Ruby's test results yet, but they think she has stage 3 Ewing's Sarcoma, a type of cancer. Ruby had been complaining about how her leg hurt for a few months now, my father just passed it off as growing pains, it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, yesterday, when as Ruby went to get out of my father's car to enter school, she collapsed.

Crying and crying. She wanted mom. She was crying for mom.

She was crying and holding her leg dad says. So he rushed her to the hospital.

The test results aren't back yet, but we all know that they will turn up to be positive. Mom had Ewing's when she was a kid, but they caught it early, she made it out, but grandma had it too, rarely is Ewing's found in adults, but grandma was 25 when they found out she had it, while she was pregnant with mom.

Grandma didn't make it through labor. We never knew grandma, and neither did mom.

Mom barely made it through when she only had Ewing's stage 1 when they found it. Ruby is stage 3, we all know that she won't make it. There is no way.

Dad knows.

Jake knows. Actually, Jake doesn't know, he isn't allowed visitors for a week where he is.

Mom up in heaven knows.

Stella knows.

The entire school seems to know too.

Everyone knows she isn't going to make it.

Why isn't it me?

I deserve the pain, the torture of it.

Not Ruby, poor, beautiful Ruby.

My precious little Ruby, so pure.

So small.

So tiny.

I deserve it. Not her.

But the thing is, we all know that once Ruby goes, she will be happy.

All she wants is mom. That is all she has ever wanted.

When she is hurt, she wants mom

When she is sick, she wants mom

When she can't sleep she wants mom

She always wants mom.

Mom loved her the most.

Her beautiful miracle.

Ruby.

You see, Jake and I are adopted. Mom couldn't have kids, she first adopted our older sister and then us.

Ruby was her miracle child.

Ewing's stole everything from mom, a tumor had grown on her pelvis when she was just six, and they had to remove parts of her pelvis with the tumor, making having children next to impossible.

Mom didn't think it would ever happen, and then Ruby came.

Ruby.

Beautiful Ruby.

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