Dreaming With Secrets

Harry has an odd, reoccurring dream about some mystery girl. When he finds out that Zayn knows who this girl is, Harry wants to get to know her. Zayn however, doesn't approve of Harry getting to know her. Even against Zayn's will, they get together. No matter how hard Zayn tries, they both push to be together. But when Zayn tries to pull them apart and Bethany ends up right back in her past, can Harry save her and get Zayn to approve of them, or will Bethany's past kill her first?
Includes self harm references/actions, sex, drugs, alcohol, and cursing


18. Old Habits Die Hard



I was sitting on my bed, staring off into space. I didn’t think one small action would cause a whole problem like this to erupt. I ran my hands over my face and sighed. I knew Bethany wasn’t trying to do this to me but I wasn’t used to all of this. I was trying to adjust to how she worked so I knew how to help her but it’s a lot harder than it seems. However, she was worth it.

“Harry…” I heard her small voice call from outside the door. I sighed and got up. I slowly opened the door and Bethany was standing there, looking helpless. I opened my arms to her and she pushed herself into me. She started to cry and whimper into my shirt. I ran my fingers through her hair and my other hand was running up and down her back.

“Where will you run, because I’ll be by your side wherever you fall, in the dead of night whenever you call, and please don’t fight these hands that are holding you, my hands are holding you…” I sang softly into her ear.

“Harry…” Bethany whimpered, cutting me off.

“Yes baby?” I said.

“I know that song…” I started to smile and pushed her off me a little. I tilted her chin up so I could meet her eyes. They were blood shot but she wasn’t crying.

“I know…I heard you listening to it. I got this song from you.” She smiled and leaned in to kiss me. I kissed her softly and pulled her back to me so I could kiss her again. I would’ve kept going, but I heard footsteps from downstairs and everyone’s voices.

“We should probably go down to see them…” Bethany whispered.

“Yeah…before Zayn takes your cigarettes.” I tried to joke. Bethany smiled a little before we turned and walked out of the room. When we got downstairs, everyone was running back and forth between the living room and kitchen.



“Hey, do you know where these came from?” Zayn asked, holding up a couple packs of my cigarettes.

“There mine.” I said quietly. Zayn raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Zayn said.

“Yeah...well…when assholes like you come into my life, I can’t help but need to find some way to relieve stress.” I said. I walked up to him and snatched them from his hand. I walked into the kitchen, put the rest back in the bag, grabbed the bag, and brought them back up to my room. I put them on my bed and walked back down the stairs.

“How was your car ride home?” I asked Zee, sitting down next to her. She smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

“I missed you this morning…so I was kind of upset but other than that, I was good. I figured Harry would be able to help you if you needed anything.”

“You assumed correctly.” I sighed.

“Babe…what’s wrong?” Zee asked.

“Harry and I ended up fighting this morning…”

“Over what?”

“Over my stupid cigarette problem…”

“I don’t think that’s a stupid problem…” Zee pointed out slowly. I stayed quiet, knowing she was right. I knew I had a problem but I had no interest in fixing it. I looked up and saw Harry watching Zee and I since we were being all secretive.

The next couple weeks, we spent being lazy around the house. We would take day trips together but we didn’t do anything insanely crazy. At least I didn’t. I don’t know about everyone else. I spent most of my time in bed, wanting, wishing to feel better…to feel something. I didn’t want to upset Harry so I threw out all my cigarettes and Harry had already thrown out all my razors so I felt worse than I have in months. I wasn’t used to having to rely on myself to get better. It was back to the point where I wasn’t eating, and if I did it would be puked back up a few minutes later…if I was lucky. If I wasn’t, it would be everywhere as soon as I swallowed it. I wanted for nothing more than to be better. 

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