Dreaming With Secrets

Harry has an odd, reoccurring dream about some mystery girl. When he finds out that Zayn knows who this girl is, Harry wants to get to know her. Zayn however, doesn't approve of Harry getting to know her. Even against Zayn's will, they get together. No matter how hard Zayn tries, they both push to be together. But when Zayn tries to pull them apart and Bethany ends up right back in her past, can Harry save her and get Zayn to approve of them, or will Bethany's past kill her first?
Includes self harm references/actions, sex, drugs, alcohol, and cursing


15. Fireworks



Once Louis turned the music on, everyone went to grab a drink. After Niall grabbed a handful, he walked over to me and sat down with me on a lawn chair that was brought along.

“Want to help me get a fire going?” Niall asked me.

“Sure, why not?” I said with a shrug.

“Guys, we’re going to get some fire wood!” Niall called. Everyone nodded and Niall and I headed off into the woods. Niall still had one beer in hand as we walked together. He didn’t grab my hand and he was avoiding my gaze.

“Soo…” I said slowly. Niall coughed and looked at me.

“Yeah?” He asked, lacking emotion.

“I’m happy I get to see you.” I said slowly.

“I’m happy you’re here too.” Niall smiled at me before turning back, looking straight ahead of him. I looked at him but he wouldn’t look at me.

“Niall…is something wrong? On the way to Louis’s house you…I don’t know…you’re acting different. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then what’s bothering you?” Niall was silent as he took another pull of his beer, finishing it off.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot.”

“About…?” I was curious since Niall seemed so carefree and didn’t really think before he did much at all.

“You mostly…” Niall admitted.

“What about me?” I asked as we started walking in the woods. All I could hear was the crunching of leaves and twigs under our feet.

“Damn…how great you are.” Niall said. “I don’t really know. Of all the people you could like, you like me…why?”

“Because you’re just so carefree, you always want to have a good time, you’re fun to be around, you’re sweet, simple, not overly complicated, caring…why does it matter?”

“It matters because I can’t be with someone who doesn’t accept me for me…” Niall said quietly.

“I like who you are though. If you really want, I can quote Bruno Mars for you if it’ll make you feel better about it.” I said sarcastically, making Niall laugh. I smiled at hearing his laugh.

“I really do like you, Bradie.”

“I really like you too…”

“Then…in that case…I say…we make it official.” Niall said loudly.

“Make what official?” I said, being difficult.

“This whole being difficult thing is going to have to stop.” Niall said as he winked at me.

“You need to accept me for me.” I said, winking back.

“Alright…fair enough. I want you to be my girlfriend.” Niall said.

“Eh…I guess I can be your girlfriend.” I said with a shrug.

“Really…being difficult again?” Niall raised an eyebrow at me. I stepped in front of him and stopped him from walking.

“I want to be your girlfriend.” I whispered. I stood on my tiptoes and pulled on his neck so I could kiss him.

“Good.” Niall said as he pulled away from the kiss. I giggled as I watched him start collecting sticks for the fire.



Bradie and Niall had gone off to collect firewood, Liam, Zayn, and Stan were off drinking on top of Louis’s car, and Bethany and Harry had wandered off so it was just Lou and I…not that I minded. Lou and I were sitting across from each other, both sitting cross legged, holding one of the others hands, had a beer in our other hands, and were looking at each other. We weren’t talking, we were just sitting there.

“What are you thinking about?” Louis finally whispered as he took a pull of his beer. 

“How happy I am to be with you again…” I said happily. Louis smiled and squeezed my hand.

“I missed you too.” Louis said. I giggled and finished off my beer. I set it to the side and flipped my body around and fell back into him. He wrapped his arms around me and started asking me about my plans for my future since I was going to be a senior this upcoming year.

I never felt so safe with someone that I didn’t get to see often, but Louis was different. He always showed he cared and I couldn’t ask for anyone better. I started telling him about my plans and what I wanted to do, and he listened intently.



“And that right there…that’s the big dipper.” Harry said, pointing to the sky. I looked to where Harry was pointing and smiled.

“I see it.” I said.

“Can you see the cheesy comment about to come out of my mouth?” Harry asked sarcastically.

“Maybe after you say it, I will.” I joked.

“See those two stars right there?” Harry pointed to the two brightest stars in the sky at the moment.


“Those are the reflection of your eyes.” I smacked his chest and rolled over so I was on top of him.

“That was cheesy, Harold.” I said. He smiled, laughed and wrapped his arms around me.

“I told you it was going to be.”

“That’s true…you did warn me.” I said slowly.

“So you can’t get mad at me.”

“I never was mad. Yes, it was cheesy but…it was cute, nonetheless.”

“Do I get a kiss for it?”

“No…it was too cheesy and predictable.”

“So, what happens if I say something not so cheesy and predictable?”

“Then maybe you can get a kiss but…until then, I don’t think so.”

“Okay…how long do I have to do this?”

“The end of the night!” I said excitedly.

“Alright…I’ll see how I can do this without you expecting it.”

“I believe in you.” I said, smirking. Harry smiled and kissed my nose lightly. I smiled and rolled off him so I was back in his side. We were silent as we watched the stars twinkle above us for a bit. After a couple minutes though, Harry started to softly sing to me.

“I never understood what love is really like, but I felt it for the first time looking in your eyes…” Harry sang softly.

“What songs are these?” I asked, cutting him off. “You sing such pretty and sweet songs to me but…I never know what songs they are…” I asked. Harry smiled down at me.

“Another song we’re working on for our album.” Harry said with a smirk.

“Well, I really like that one…probably more than the other one.” I said softly.

“Well it was true.” Harry whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, when we met for the first time- you almost ran Niall and me over?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well, you know all those stupid rumors going around about me always being with someone, or always sleeping around?”

“Yeah…I’m assuming they aren’t true.”

“You assumed right, and when I looked into your eyes for the first time…I felt that you were different, and because of those dreams, I didn’t know it, but I fell in love with the girl in my dreams…and when I saw you…I don’t know…I guess I fell in love with you the first time I laid eyes on you, as crazy as that seems.”

“I think it’s sweet.” I said. I looked up at him and smiled. “And it wasn’t cheesy either, so you win.”

“I wasn’t even trying…” Harry said slowly.

“That’s probably why you won.” I rolled over so I was on top of him again and kissed him slowly. “Oh, and I love you too.” I said as I broke the kiss. Harry smiled and squeezed me to him and started kissing me again.

Harry’s hands started to slide up my shirt just a little and rested at the bottom of my back as he continued to kiss me. I reached up and tangled my fingers in his hair as my legs straddled his sides. It all finally felt right. I was happy I told Zayn I didn’t care what he thought anymore because Harry made me so happy. Granted, I felt terrible for what I had said to Zayn, but he was putting me through too much for me to handle. Harry pulled away from me for a minute and looked into my eyes.

“What…?” I asked as I started to smile. I bit down on part of my lip as I started to feel slightly nervous.

“Nothing…you just look beautiful.” Harry whispered as he pushed some stray hairs that had fallen into my face behind my ears. I felt my heart beat faster and I felt my cheeks start to burn up.

“I don’t think I am…” I said quietly.

“I know you are…your eyes, smile, personality, hair, fingers…mouth…” Harry slowed as he gently touched every part of me that he had named. “Arms…cheeks…ears…the way you talk…” Harry started to whisper as he kept listing everything off. “…your hips, stomach, your voice when you sing…your scars…”

“Wait...hold on…my scars?” I questioned.

“Yes…your scars; visible and non visible.”

“How in hell are those beautiful?”

“They’re a part of you, and I find every inch of you, visible and non visible, very beautiful.” I felt tears well up in my eyes.

“Harold…” I whispered.

“What?” I felt a tear slip from my eye and fall down my cheek. Harry quickly wiped it away and kissed my cheek.

“Why do you find something so ugly, so perfect?”

“Those scars made you who you are today…and I find who you are beautiful…I’m just telling you what I see…”


“No buts; I love you and everything you are, all the baggage from your past that you bring with you, and every good thing that happened to you…I love it all. I love all of you. There isn’t one part of you I don’t love because of something that you find unattractive and ugly.” I started to cry even more. I dug my face into the crook of his neck and started sobbing. He ran his hand up and down my back as he listened to me cry.

“Backkk!” I heard Bradie call in a sing-songy voice. I lifted my head and looked at Harry, and he looked back at me. He reached around and wiped my tears away with his hand. He rolled me over and sat up so he could help me up.

“Do you want me to carry you?” Harry whispered in my ear. I nodded and Harry turned his back to me. I jumped onto his back and he caught me, jumped slightly, and looped his arms through my legs. He walked us over as I dug my head into the crook of his neck again.

“Is anyone getting cold?” Stan asked as Louis and Zee walked up.

“Yeah, a bit.” Zee said.

“That’s because you and Beth are stupid and wore shorts!” Stan announced.

“It was nice earlier.” Zee said in our defense.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, let’s just get this fire going.”  Stan said. Stan and Lou went to work on starting it as the rest of us started looking for more wood so we wouldn’t have to constantly go looking for more. I was holding Harry’s hand as we walked into the woods getting more sticks.

“READY!” Louis called. We all started walking back to the pit where he was making the fire and we all added the sticks to the pile which was now pretty large.

“Oooo…do you have stuff for s’mores?” Bradie asked curiously.

“S’mores…?” Harry asked slowly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Zee yelled.

“No…” Louis said slowly.

“Do you have chocolate bars?” I asked.

“Yes…I live off them…” Stan said slowly.

“Graham crackers?” I asked.

“Yeah…” Stan said again.

“How about marshmallows?” I asked again.


“FABULOUS!” Bradie yelled. “GO GET THEM!”

“LETTTTT’S GOOOOO!” Zee screamed as she started pounding her hands on her legs. I giggled and looked at her. “What?” She asked as she stopped.

“Nothing…I was about to join in.” I said, smirking.

“Not on my back you don’t!” Harry yelled as he dropped my legs. I landed on my feet.

“We need sticks…” Zee pointed out.

“Then go get some.” I said. Zee got up, grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the pile and we pulled out enough sticks for each of us.

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” Niall asked. Stan came back with the food and handed it to me.

“Come here.” I said, motioning for him to come by me. Niall walked over and sat next to me. I took a marshmallow out of the bag and put it on the stick.

“Is this sanitary?” Liam asked slowly.

“Yeah, the fire will burn off all the germs.” Zee said.

“Putting wood in the fire will set the wood on fire. I can promise you the marshmallow will not make any changes to that.” Louis stated, making us all laugh.

“No, like this.” I said. I took Niall’s hands and we both leaned closer to the fire. I moved my hands so they were over his on the stick and held the stick so it was right above the fire, barely touching it.

“Oh, I get it!” Niall said happily.

“Yeah, and you can turn it as you go. Once you get it as brown or black as you like, you put it on the graham cracker and chocolate.” Bradie said.

“Wait…what?” Harry asked.

“Babe, you’re so slow.” I said. “Bradie, want to show him while I help Niall?”

“Yes ma’am.” Bradie said.

“I’ll break the crackers and chocolate.” Zee said. Zee took the boxes and found plates and started breaking them and making the sandwiches. She made a couple and handed one to me and one to Bradie.

“Do you guys want any?” I asked as I helped Niall slip the marshmallow onto his graham cracker. Niall put the other half on top and then inhaled it in two bites. His eyes grew wide.

“I WANT ANOTHER!” Niall yelled. Bradie, Zee, and I laughed. The other boys did too and each grabbed a stick and a marshmallow. For the next half hour, we all made s’mores or rubbed the marshmallows on each other.

“Those were so good.” Louis said as he finished off his third one.

“We American’s know what’s up.” I said sarcastically.

“You know how to gain weight, actually.” Stan joked.

“Hey, do we look fat?” Bradie questioned.

“Not you guys, but some American’s aren’t exactly healthy.” Stan pointed out.

“You’re telling us?” Zee laughed out. “Bethany, that reminds me of our beach…”

“I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! I’M SO OVER IT!” I yelled before Zee could finish her sentence.

“What…?” Zayn asked.

“I can’t…I’m over it…” I mumbled.

“Are you; are you really?” Niall questioned.

“No, far from, but if I say it enough, maybe one day I will be over it.” I said, making everyone laugh. We all settled into a silence. The beer was being passed around again and the music was still playing. I leaned into Niall since he was still next to me and he put his arm around me.

“When do we get to do the fireworks?” Zee asked, remembering that Stan had mentioned he had brought fireworks with him earlier.

“At exactly midnight we start setting them off.”

“What time is it now?” Zee asked.

“About 11:30.” Zayn said.

“It feels like it should be so much later…” I said, surprised it was so early.

“Yeah, well…that means we still have lots of time to hang out.” Stan said.

“Don’t we stay out all night?” Zee asked. “I’m pretty sure that’s what you said earlier.”

“Yeah, we do. But after the fireworks, we normally really start drinking. We don’t drink as much beforehand because…no one should set fireworks off while they’re drunk.” Louis said.

“Wow…I’m glad you’re all thinking.” Zayn said. We all laughed again.

“Can’t you think when you’re drunk?” Stan asked.

“I try not too or I have a worse hangover in the morning.” Zayn said.

“I don’t, but in the morning, if I try hard enough, I can remember everything that happened. Does that count?” I asked.

“Yeah, close enough I guess.” Stan said.

“I just drink because I like too.” Bradie said.

“But sames.” Zee said. I giggled.

“Why are we discussing our drinking habits?” Niall asked.

“We shouldn’t be because you’d probably beat us all out, Irish boy.” Stan said.

“I’ll get drunk with you.” Bradie said.

“You’d be gone after like…two drinks.” I joked.

“So would you…you’re so skinny!” Bradie said back.

“I drink too much for my body to get affected that easily…” I pointed out. “I have a problem.”

“We can get drunk together.” Zee said as she winked at me.

“Drunk lesbian status!” I said happily.

“So, what if you got drunk with just me?” Harry asked.

“It’d take a lot more for me to get with you than it would for me to get with a girl.” I said as I turned to look over Niall’s shoulder at him.

“That’s actually kind of depressing.” Harry pointed out.

“Sucks to half a lesbian girlfriend.” I said.

“But you aren’t.” Zayn said.

“How would you know? I haven’t gotten with you.”

“She has a point.” Liam said. “At least…I hope she does.”

“Shh…it’s okay Liam.” Zee said. “Bethany knows what she’s talking about.

“Does she…does she really?” Bradie asked.

“No, but it makes sense.” I said with a shrug.

“Yeah, that’s actually true.” Stan said.

“It’s ten minutes to midnight!” Zee sang happily.

“Then we should start getting things set up!” Stan announced. Zee squealed happily as Louis and Stan started getting the fireworks and matches out. At exactly midnight, Stan and Louis set off the first firework.

“I want to do one!” I screeched happily.

“Alright, come here.” Louis said. I walked over to him and he put the lighter in my hands. “Ready?” He asked. He stood right behind me, held the firework, and let me light the string. After I lit it, Louis placed it down quickly and then pulled us both back. In a few seconds, that one went off too. I had a huge smile on my face and watched it go off. I felt Harry come up behind me, knowing his smell at this point. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. He rested his chin on my head. I put my arms behind me and wrapped them around his waist, creating a backwards hug. Louis was showing Zee how to set one off, while we all watched and waited.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” I whispered as Zee’s went off.

“Yeah, they are…” Harry said quietly. A few more were set off than Stan cleaned up the remains and put the extra fireworks back in the car. Zayn threw some extra firewood into the fire to keep it going as we all went back around it. The beer was being passed around quicker now and we were all drinking.

We spent the rest of the night sitting there, drinking, talking, and feeding the fire. Around two we had climbed into sleeping bags or covered ourselves with blankets. We all had slight buzzes going so it wasn’t too hard to get to sleep. However, it wasn’t until about four that people started to fall asleep.

I fell asleep around four, but woke up around five seemingly cold and uncomfortable. I rolled over, reaching for Harry but realized he wasn’t there. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Harry sitting further away from where we all were. I shivered and wrapped the blanket around me, got up, and walked over to him.

“Harry?” I asked quietly. He jumped at the sound of my voice and turned to look at me. “What are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Harry said. I smiled and went to sit next to him. I leaned into him and he draped his arm around me.

“What are you doing up?” I asked him.

“I couldn’t really sleep. I figured you looked comfortable enough, that you wouldn’t need me.”

“I did need you…” I whispered. Harry laughed quietly and kissed my head.

“I was thinking.” Harry said quietly.

“About what?”

“Us.” I paused, not really expecting that answer.

“What about us?” I finally asked. Harry pulled away and grabbed my shoulders so I would face him. His face was pale from being cold, his breath was coming out in puffs, and his eyes seemed to be searching mine.

“I want…I…I want you…you to be…”

“Spit it out.” I said with a smirk.

“I want you to be my girlfriend…” Harry whispered. I smiled and put one of my hands on his cheek. His face was cold as ice. Harry winced at my touch from how warm my face was compared to how cold his face was.

“Okay…” I said as I started to smile. Harry started to smile and I slid closer to him. He took my face in his hands, my hands were on his arms, and he started kissing me.

When he finally let me go, we cuddled up into the blanket. I was lying on his chest, half on him, half not and he had his arm around me, keeping my exposed side warm. We were watching the sun come up as it started peaking above the trees.

“Good morning.” Harry whispered into my ear.

“Good morning.” I whispered back. He kissed my head and I started to fall back asleep.  

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