Dreaming With Secrets

Harry has an odd, reoccurring dream about some mystery girl. When he finds out that Zayn knows who this girl is, Harry wants to get to know her. Zayn however, doesn't approve of Harry getting to know her. Even against Zayn's will, they get together. No matter how hard Zayn tries, they both push to be together. But when Zayn tries to pull them apart and Bethany ends up right back in her past, can Harry save her and get Zayn to approve of them, or will Bethany's past kill her first?
Includes self harm references/actions, sex, drugs, alcohol, and cursing


13. Fake Apologies



I wasn’t happy. After Bethany decided that she was done with me and was doing what she wanted with Harry, I got pissed. I was trying to be a good friend and look out for her, but this is the thanks I get. I was angrily pacing around the room with only Liam downstairs to listen to me.

“You’re overreacting.” Liam said calmly.

“I don’t think I am. I’m trying to be a good friend!” I said as I threw my hands in the air.

“Then let them make their own mistakes.” I stopped and looked at Liam.

“You know what…that’s a good idea. If she wants to blame me for putting her into therapy, fine. But I know for a fact it wasn’t me. She can be in all the denial she wants. It wasn’t me. She’s going to have to figure out herself that Harry is going to hurt her. I’m done trying.” I said. I fell on the couch next to Liam and he put his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder and he rested his head on mine. I had to have smiled for the first time in months because of this boy.

If Bethany wanted to do this to herself, she can be my guest. I’m done trying to get her to realize how much of a mistake she is making. I reached for the remote and turned to TV on so Liam and I had something to watch while we cuddled on the couch together.



“You know what I was thinking about when you were away in school?” Harry said out of the blue.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“What are you going to do, where are you going to go, what did you have planned for your life?”

“You seem more concerned about my life than I do.” I pointed out.

“I don’t know…I just…I wanted to fit you in as much as I could.” Harry said as he started tracing circles on my back. “So, what do you want to do?”

“I took the year off. I didn’t apply to any schools or anything.” I said slowly. “I needed a break from everything so…I’m going to find a job.”


“I don’t know. It isn’t going to be anything that thrilling since I only have a high school education.”

“Stay here…” Harry blurted out.



As soon as it came out of my mouth, I wanted to take it back. As much as I would’ve loved for her to stay, I knew it was too soon to even mention something like that; especially since we weren’t even dating.

“That would be nice.” Bethany said softly. I looked down at her.

“Wait, really?” I asked.

“Yeah…I mean…my parents love Zayn, they like you…you know that, and…I think it would be a good experience for me.” She shrugged and I closed my eyes in relief, thanking god I didn’t make anything awkward for her. “But I would still need a job.” She finished off with a laugh.

“Nah, I’ll get you everything.”

“No I don’t think so.” She poked my chest and then let her all her fingers touch my chest. She slowly laid her hand down and slowly ran her hand down my chest. “I like you…” She said quietly.

“I like you a lot…” I said slowly, not sure where she was going with this.

“I like you a lot, a lot…”

“I love you.” I whispered. She looked up at me and her eyes sparkled. “I really do…I honestly…I honestly love you…” I said. I didn’t think it would be so easy to say those words but I meant them. I did love Bethany. She meant a lot to me, I cared for her, she was…she was perfect. She put her lips to mine and kissed me passionately but softly.

“I love you too.” She whispered against my lips. I smiled and tried pulling her closer to me even though she was on top of me and as close to me as she could get. “And I’m not just saying that because you said it Harold…I actually mean it.” I kissed her head as he pushed her face into my shoulder and neck. I rested my head on hers and closed my eyes, hoping this moment wouldn’t end.      



I fell asleep in Harry’s arms like that. I was so happy to be in his arms without Zayn up ours asses. This was needed more than I thought it was.

I woke up the next morning to Harry running his fingers through my hair and kissing my head every minute or so. I moved slightly and I saw him look down at me.

“Good morning angel.” Harry whispered.

“Angel?” I asked quietly.

“Yup.” Harry kissed my head as he continued running his fingers through my hair. “You look beautiful this morning.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“No, I was being serious.”

“I disagree.”

“I still think you look beautiful.” Harry whispered, leaning in to kiss my head again. I smiled contently and snuggled up closer to him.

“Goooood morning!” I looked up as Niall came walking into the room.

“Good morning.” Harry and I said at the same time.

“So, Zayn wants to talk to you two.” Niall said.

“It’s too early in the morning to fight with him.” I said.

“It’s one in the afternoon…” Niall said slowly. I groaned and looked up at Harry.

“I guess, but we aren’t moving.” Harry said slowly. Niall nodded and walked out of the room. He started yelling at Zayn to go up to our room. A few seconds later, Zayn appeared in the doorway of our room.

“What do you want?” I asked sassily.

“I just…I wanted to apologize.” Zayn said. “I didn’t mean to come off the way I did. I was just trying to protect Bethany.”

“You put me back in therapy in the process. I don’t forgive you.” I said. “You can leave now.”

“I really am sorry, Bethany.” Zayn whispered right before he left the room. He closed the door behind him but I saw the flash of anger in his eyes.

“That was…rude.” Harry said quietly.

“He didn’t mean it. I could tell he didn’t mean it. I can guarantee he’ll try and pull something again before the summer is over.”

“You really think so?”

“Yeah…I do.”

“Well, why we have Zayn in this position than, why don’t we ask the guys if it’s alright if you stay here with us?” Harry asked. I looked up at him and smiled.

“You really want me to stay?”

“Yeah…” Harry smiled and kissed my mouth. I smiled into the kiss as it deepened.

About an hour later, we wandered downstairs to talk to the boys about the possibility of me moving in with them. Everyone was in the living room. Zee was sitting on Louis’s lap, Bradie was cuddled into Niall, Liam was on the phone, and Zayn was lying on the couch.

“Good morning!” Louis called happily as we walked into the room.

“Good morning Lou.” Harry said. He walked over to him and kissed his head before sitting on the couch and pulling me down on him. “Bethany and I have a question.”

“If that question is would you care if we got married? It would be a yes because you’re too young.” Louis pointed out.

“I was gonna ask if I could stay with you guys after the summer is over…” I asked slowly.

“I see no problem with it.” Niall said. “I don’t think any of us would.”

“I don’t.” Zayn said, shrugging.

“So, I can?” I asked hopefully.

“YES!” Louis yelled, making Zee jump. I looked at Zee and she was looking at the ground.

“Zee…?” I asked quietly.

“I’m fine.” She whispered. I got up and walked over to her. I pulled her from Louis and walked her into the kitchen.

“Don’t lie to me.” I said.

“I don’t want you to leave but…you graduated. I can’t really hold you back. That’s the last thing I want to do and if being here makes you happy…”

“You make me happy.” I grabbed her hands and pulled her closer to me. “If I had my way, I’d bring you with me but…I have nothing else to do in America. There isn’t anything left there besides you, Bradie, and a few other friends.”

“Then come home for us…” Zee begged. “Come home and live with me like we always talked about. My mom wouldn’t care.”

“How about this…I’ll come home, we can see if the boys can come for thanksgiving and then I’ll fly back with them than.”

“I mean…I’d rather you stay with me forever but…that’s good too.”

“What’s good too?” Harry asked as he walked in.

“I think I’m going to go home instead of staying.” I said.


“But when it’s thanksgiving, have you, Niall, and Lou fly out to spend it with us and then I’ll fly back with you guys.” 

“I have an even better idea.” Harry said.

“What could be better than that; having Bethany not go back with you at all, you move in with her, or me staying with you guys?”

“We could stay until Christmas and all spend Christmas together.”

“You would do that?” Zee asked.

“Well, we wouldn’t come flying over and staying with you right after summer. We have work but I’m sure we could get from the end of November off until the end of December off. We aren’t in the middle of anything huge and if management has a problem with it, we can always have our management set up meet and greets or interviews on the east coast…it can’t be that hard.”

“I still like that idea.” Zee said with a growing smile on her face.

“Good; then we can do that.” Harry said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“You’re touching her- you have thirty seconds to get your hands off her…” Zee said, eyeing Harry’s hands.

“Uhm…what?” Harry asked.

“I would get your hands off me unless you want to lose your hands.” I giggled. Harry slowly took his hands off me and Zee wrapped her arms around me in replace of his.

“Replacing me?” Harry asked.

“I was technically Zee’s first…”

“I see how it is. I’ll just go cuddle with Louis.” Harry said.

“You do that.” Zee called as Harry walked out of the room. I giggled and put my arms around Zee, hugging her back.

“I need to go call my parents.” I said, detangling myself from Zee.


“Well…you wanted me to move in, didn’t you?” Zee started to smile and I walked up the stairs to Harry’s room to call my parents.

“Hi Bethany!” Matthew said into the phone happily.

“Hey buddy, is mom there?” I asked.

“Yeah, let me go get her.” I heard him running through the house and calling for mom. “Here mom, it’s Bethany.”

“Thanks dear.” There was a pause before my mom had the phone. “Hey sweetie, how’s England?”

“It’s beautiful.” I sighed happily.

“That’s good. What’s up?”

“Nothing really…I just wanted to talk to you about the upcoming year.”

“You can’t wait to get home to discuss it?”

“Well…that’s the thing…”

“You want to stay in England with Harry, don’t you?” My mom asked.

“Not exactly…I mean at some point, yes…but not yet.” I said slowly.

“Then what is it?”

“I want to come back to America after the summer…but I want to move in with Zee. Then around thanksgiving, Niall, Louis, and Harry would fly back to see Bradie, Zee, and I and they would stay until after Christmas and then I would officially move in with them and work over here…”  My mom was silent for what seemed like forever.

“You want to move in with Zee…” My mom said slowly.

“Please mom? We’ve been talking about this for as long as I can remember. If you need me of course I’ll come help you but…you know…I just want her house to be my like…designated place every night.”

“I don’t have a problem with it as long as you help with driving if we need it.”

“Of course I will.” I said.

“Then I guess it’s alright. And about moving to England…at that point you’ll be 18 and I have no say so if you want to…go ahead.” I started to smile.

“Thank you momma.”

“You’re welcome. Now go have fun with your friends. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hung up the phone and walked back downstairs. Everyone was in the living room together. Niall was jokingly sitting on Bradie, Zee was lying across Louis, Harry was lying on the couch, and Zayn and Liam were snuggled together. I walked over and sat myself down on Harry’s stomach.

“Well hello there.” Harry grunted.

“Hello there Harold.” I smirked as Harry tried to laugh.

“Can we do something? I’m getting antsy just sitting here since I spent so much time on a plane…” Zee asked Louis.

“I don’t know…what do you want to do?” Louis asked her.

“I don’t know…anything. I just want to get outside while the weather is still nice here.”

“Do you really not like our weather that much?” Liam joked.

“I like the sun…I like being outside.” Zee pointed out.

“Well that can be a problem if at least once a week it rains…” Zayn pointed out. We all laughed.

“That’s why I want to do something today because it’s sunny out!” Zee whined.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom…get off me for a second.” Louis said. Zee slid off Louis and he got up to go to the bathroom.

“Do you guys have any ideas?” Zee asked. They all shook their heads and Zee slumped down into the couch. Louis walked back in with his phone in hand and he was staring intently at it.



“Did you pee with your phone?” Harry joked, making everyone laugh.

“No, but I think I may have an idea. I just need to text Stan first.” I said, not taking my eyes off my phone.

Hey, I was wondering if you could get your hands on any fireworks? – Lou

You mean like old times? – Stan

Yeah, when we would go to the field and set them off in the middle of the night. – Lou

No, but I could get some…why? – Stan

We may be stopping by tonight. – Lou

Who’s we and for what reason? Not that I would mind. I miss you mate. – Stan

We as in Zee, Bradie, Bethany, and the rest of the guys and because Zee wants to do something and I figured she would enjoy that. That, and I miss you too mate. – Lou

I’ll start looking, but even if I don’t get any, you should all come by anyway. I got drinks so…we could just go out and drink. – Stan

At this point, I think Zee would be content with anything that got her out of London so…we’ll come over anyway. I’ll text you when we leave. – Lou

See you soon mate! – Stan

“I think I got something for us to do if you’re all up to it…” I said.

“What is it?” Bethany asked.

“How would you all feel about going to Doncaster tonight for a surprise?” I asked.

“Anything to get me out of here.” Zee demanded.

“If you don’t mind a three hour train trip…” I said slowly.

“Honestly, I don’t care.” Zee said again.

“Alright, let me call my mom and see if it’s okay if we can all just fit in her house overnight.”

“Wait…what?” Zee asked.

“Yeah…if you want to go, we all have to go. It’s better with more people.”

“What exactly are we doing…?” Bradie asked.

“You’ll see.” I said happily. “I’ll be right back. I have to call my mom.” I said as I got up and walked out of the room.



“What if I’m too scared to meet his mom?” Zee asked.

“I don’t think you have much of a choice anymore.” Liam pointed out.

“That isn’t okay…” Zee stammered.

“You’ll be fine. I’m sure Lou has said nothing but nice things about you to his mom.” Harry said.

“Are you sure? I don’t want her to hate me…” Zee said.

“You’ll be fine.” I said. Zee gave me a half smile and I smiled back at her. Just then, Louis came walking back into the room.

“It’s a go…we can stay at my moms.” Louis said happily.

“How long are we going to stay there for?” I asked.

“Tonight, tomorrow night, and the day after that we’ll be coming home.” Louis said.

“Okay so…one full day?” Niall asked.

“Yes Niall…” Liam said. Niall smiled proudly at himself.

“Are we taking the train or are we each driving down in a car?” I asked.

“We’ll probably drive so we have the cars.” Louis said. “Harry and I can each drive since we’ve had our licenses longest.”

“I call going with Harold!” I yelled.

“Do you call shot gun too?” Harry asked.

“Yes…yes I do.” I said.

“Okay, I’ll take Zee, Zayn, and Liam…and you can take the other three.” Louis said.

“That works for me.” Harry said with a shrug.

“Great…not go pack overnight bags; it’s a three hour drive and I don’t want to end up leaving too late or we’ll miss it.” Louis said.

“Miss what…?” Zee asked.

“You’ll just have to find out, won’t you?” Louis said as he kissed Zee. We all got up and went to our rooms to pack our overnight bags for the next few days. 

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