Dreaming With Secrets

Harry has an odd, reoccurring dream about some mystery girl. When he finds out that Zayn knows who this girl is, Harry wants to get to know her. Zayn however, doesn't approve of Harry getting to know her. Even against Zayn's will, they get together. No matter how hard Zayn tries, they both push to be together. But when Zayn tries to pull them apart and Bethany ends up right back in her past, can Harry save her and get Zayn to approve of them, or will Bethany's past kill her first?
Includes self harm references/actions, sex, drugs, alcohol, and cursing


38. Everything I Wanted


When we landed in London, Harry and I were so excited to finally start settling down together. I was eighteen and ready to take on my next adventure in life.

“Welcome to your new home.” Harry whispered into my ear on the car ride home. I bit my lip and smiled toothily at him.

“I’m so happy to be here.” Harry laughed and kissed my cheek. We fell back into a silence as the car ride continued. After about an hour though, the car came to a stop at their house.

“And here’s a giant welcome to your real home.” Louis joked, making me laugh. We all got out, only to be greeted by Liam waiting outside.

“Where’s Zayn?” Niall asked.

“He’s…moping around.” My heart dropped into my stomach, realizing that Zayn still didn’t want us together. We all gathered our bags and brought them up to our rooms. Afterwards, we all wandered downstairs to find Zayn moping on the couch in the living room.

“Hey Zayn.” Harry said stiffly. Zayn didn’t even bother to turn around or say hi back. I felt the tension and the awkward rise in the room. We all looked at each other before taking places on chairs and couches around the living room.

“How was the trip, Lou?” Zayn asked.

“It was…fine.” Louis said awkwardly.

“That’s nice; how’s Zee?”

“She’s…good.” Zayn nodded, glared at Harry and me, and then turned to Niall.

“How was your trip, and how was Bradie?”

“They were both good.” Niall said quietly. We fell into another awkward silence before Zayn stood up.

“Will you excuse me; I have a call to make.” Zayn stormed out of the room, but not without glaring at Harry and me again.

“What the hell…” I blurted out.

“He’s been like this ever since you three left for America.” Liam said sadly.

“Why...?” I asked sadly.

“I really wish I knew. I have no reason why he is the way he is.” I nodded slowly and excused myself to my room for the reasoning of jet-lag. I walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower, climbed in, grabbed my razor from my bag, sat down on the shower floor, and started slicing into my wrists while bawling my eyes out. I hope Zayn was happy with me being like this…



“Where’s Bethany?” I asked, walking back into the living room.

“She’s showering than going to take a nap.” Harry whispered.

“Oh, good. I don’t want to see her anyway.” I sat back down on the couch, making Harry shift uncomfortably.

“Okay than…” Louis said slowly. We fell into another awkward silence, making me smirk. What I wanted was working. Bethany kept her distance from Harry, and soon she would be out of here. That’s what I wanted and it was working. This was going just as planned. I smiled to myself and settled back into the couch, pretty damn proud with myself. I was so proud in fact, that I went outside to enjoy a cigarette.



After my shower, I pulled on pajamas and crawled into Harry’s, well…now our bed. My wrists were throbbing and still seeping blood but I didn’t care at this point; they could be deeper, they could be worse. I had stopped the sobs, but not the tears; they were still falling silently. Because the tears kept falling, I was quickly put to sleep from being so exhausted from blood lose and from crying. Goodnight to me, right? This is always what I wanted- to move to England, to be with Harry…I got everything I wanted, everything I needed…right? 

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