Dreaming With Secrets

Harry has an odd, reoccurring dream about some mystery girl. When he finds out that Zayn knows who this girl is, Harry wants to get to know her. Zayn however, doesn't approve of Harry getting to know her. Even against Zayn's will, they get together. No matter how hard Zayn tries, they both push to be together. But when Zayn tries to pull them apart and Bethany ends up right back in her past, can Harry save her and get Zayn to approve of them, or will Bethany's past kill her first?
Includes self harm references/actions, sex, drugs, alcohol, and cursing


19. Dying



She was killing me. Not literally…but seeing her how she is now was killing me. The way her weight was being shed off her like it was nothing, the way she couldn’t keep anything down, how she didn’t sleep at night though she desperately needed it, how she didn’t ever leave our bed, how she didn’t smoke or cut, but I knew it killed her on the inside and only stopped for me, how her eyes were sinking more and more into her face, how she looked like she was slowly dying.

It killed me. At night, when I was supposed to be asleep, I could hear her sobs. I wouldn’t admit it, but it would make me cry too. I wouldn’t tell her that though…I kept it to myself; I kept quiet and only let the tears slip out silently.

I wanted to fix her…I wanted her to be all better. I knew to an extent what I had gotten myself into when I asked Bethany out, but this wasn’t what I expected. However, I still loved her. I loved every bit of her. I wanted to be the one to help her get better…even if I died trying.



I forced my body out of bed. I stumbled a little since I wasn’t used to walking. I had grown weak since I hadn’t been eating but this didn’t stop me. There was a driving force in my mind to do this…to get it over with.

“Bethany…where are you going?” I jumped at the sound of Harry’s voice. I turned around and Harry was sitting up, staring at me.

“Why are you awake? You’re supposed to be sleeping.” I said faintly. Harry got up and picked me up. I wanted to push him away and go again but I had no strength to do so.

“Come with me.” Harry said, not giving me a choice. He didn’t bother grabbing shoes but he carried me down to his car. He placed me in the passenger seat and buckled me in before going around to his side. I was defiantly curious as to why he was taking me somewhere at two in the morning though. He started driving but we were only driving for about ten minutes before he parked the car.

I knew were we where; we were at a park that we went to when we had a picnic earlier in the week. I smiled as Harry came around and got me out of the car. He carried me all the way across the park to a bridge.

“Why did you bring me here?”

“This is where you were going to come anyway.” Harry stated quietly.

“How did you know…?” I asked quietly.

“It was written on your face, Bethany. You think I haven’t seen your pain but I have…I’ve been feeling it too. I want you to know you can come to me…why would you think jumping off this bridge would be the answer?” I stayed quiet, not sure how to answer. Harry placed me on the edge of the bridge. I looked at him in utter shock.

“What are you doing?” I asked as I shakily stood up on the rail. 

“You wanted to jump…” Harry said. Harry climbed up next to me and grabbed my hand. “So we’re going to jump. He took his shirt and shorts off and threw them onto the ground. After, he peeled my shirt and shorts off and threw them with his stuff. “Are you ready?” I nodded wordlessly. “You tell me when.” I nodded again.

I looked over the edge. The water was calm, but not overly calm. We were pretty high up, and only if you hit the water right…you would die. I wanted to drop Harry’s hand and go head first…but I felt Harry’s belief in me; I felt how he knew I was strong and could pull through. I felt it coming into me just from the touch of his hand. I squeezed his hand and looked up at him.

“One…” I said weakly.

“Two…” Harry whispered, still looking at me.

“Three.” We said together, than jumped off. The rush of the air scared me a little; made my heart stop. I squeezed Harry’s hand again and he squeezed back. It was then that we hit the water feet first. The water engulfed me, swallowing me. I loved the feeling and opened my mouth, letting all my air out. I felt Harry let my hand go and I panicked. I started kicking and trying to push myself up but realized I couldn’t because I was too weak.

Seconds later, Harry grabbed my hand again and yanked me up. I could feel myself losing consciousness from the lack of oxygen but it didn’t bother me. It gave me an odd thrill that I couldn’t describe but at the same time, when he grabbed my hand…I felt the strength in me again and I began to kick, helping Harry bring me up.

I finally gasped, taking in the air as my head came above the water. Harry put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. I put my arms around his neck and let my head fall onto his shoulder.

“How do you feel?” Harry asked breathlessly as he tried to keep the two of us afloat.

“I feel…stronger.” I gasped into his neck.


“Because I know you care about me.” I whimpered.

“How did you find that out?”

“You brought me here tonight and when you touch me…I feel your strength go into me…”

“I’m not leaving you…if you go, I’m coming with you.”


“Try and stop me Bethany…try and stop me.” Harry gasped into my hair. “You aren’t a burden to me, okay? You are the world to me and I don’t want you leaving this world without me. You teach me things I never knew I could learn- like how to love again, how to care for someone who has no control over themselves…yet still holds on. You’ve held on this long, and I’m going to help you fight…I’m going to help you. Please…please don’t block me out like you have been these past couple weeks.” Harry begged.

“I’ll try…” I whispered. Harry grunted and started one arm swimming us to shore. I tried to help him but I couldn’t because it killed me and I felt myself falling asleep in his arms as he swam from overworking myself.

Harry hauled me up onto the ground and gently laid me down. I felt myself drifting to sleep. Harry was drying me off, redressed me, than did the same to himself before picking me back up and carrying me to the car so I could get some rest back at home…where I belonged.

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