A Sad Beautiful Tragic Love Affair

They say that you don't know what you got until it's gone. but the truth is you know what you had, you just never thought you would lose it.

The memories haunts, they just come screaming at me in flashbacks..... -Niall Horan

I remember everything but the cruelest thing of all is wondering if he moved on. - Vyvonne Lopez

I can't be happy..... it's impossible at this point -Niall Horan

Then he found me.. i can't decide if either keeping him or losing him will hurt more... -Vyvonne Lopez

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16. Long Handwritten Note

Nialler’s Point of View

“I am absolutely quitting on you”

 

“I am absolutely quitting on you”

 

“I am absolutely quitting on you” her words are playing back on my mind it’s like a broken record. She walked away. No I pushed her away. I should be happy because I told her to stay away from us but why do I feel pain in her words? Why I can’t be happy? Why does I am longing for her presence? It’s been a week since the tour starts. She didn’t come with us. She absolutely quit on me. I thought if I did that things will be okay for the both of us but why do I feel like everything has been a mess since the day I pushed her away from our lives? Darn I regret it. I should regret it because I hurt her massively. Shit, what have I done poor Vy? I am being so harsh on her.

 

I’ve decided to go outside to take a break from all of my thoughts, to have some fresh air because I am suffocating by the pain I am feeling right now. I look at Vyvonne on the bed she was peacefully sleeping. We’re in Ireland my hometown. My mom was so mad at me. I can’t understand why she disgusted Vyvonne. I’ve tried to talk to her but she said it’s my own risk to know the truth. I don’t know what truth she’s been talking. She was fuming mad when she learns that I pushed Vy away. My mates are also mad at me especially Harry and Zayn. They were all against Vyvonne. I can’t leave her because she was carrying our baby, I love her. I kissed Vyvonne’s forehead and slowly went to the kitchen to have something to drink. I went to closet to get a jacket and a beanie.

 

                I love to walk on the streets to take a good breath and to think. It was a peaceful night. There are few people walking and they were busy chit chatting. I slipped my hand in my pocket to get my phone instead feeling my phone in my pocket I found a piece of paper—It was a letter I think. I started to read the piece of paper.

 

Nialler James Horan, the man I sincerely love,

                I won’t go around the bushes like what you did in your letter. I’ll go exactly to the point, okay? Mister Horan, I love you ultra-mega-over-much too.  I want to say I love you MORE but you told me that no one in this entire universe, even me, can exceed your love. That’s kind of unfair, you know? I’m still happy because I can at least say that I feel equally the same.

                Please don’t be selfish. I can also do those things that you said you’d do for me. I love you as much as you love me. I’d do anything for you too, even if it means sacrificing my own life. You just don’t know how happy I am to have you in my life. I’d rather lose foods than to lose you. Ha! Can you top that?? Would you rather choose me over food? I guess not, you’re always-hungry-Irish-lad. But its okay I’ll still love you even if you choose food over me ha-ha. Just kidding… I know that me and food has an entirely different importance in your life, also I know that you can’t marry your food ha-ha!

                Man! Obviously I am shifting my mind to other things? Gosh. I am going to miss you again. Your laugh, your always hungry stomach, your hands on mine, your hugs—Everything about you Hubby! I will surely miss you Hubby! I think I’m starting to miss you right now whilst writing this letter, just thinking of it makes me want to cry, but I don’t want to cry because you told me you’ll cry harder if I do. That would look crazy if people see us crying. So I guess I’ll stay strong and wait for you to come back, like what you told me to.

                For now, I will let you go and make  other girls; you fans dream to come true I know how much  their lives have been changed just to see you and the lads. So go and make them happy

                Goodbye is  never a word for us right? So I guess “See You soon” will be the best thing to say. I love you Horan! Keep that in mind that no matter what happens. I’m patiently waiting for you.

 

                                                                                                                                                        Forever Yours,

                                                                                                                                                                Vyvonne

 

I was so confused since that girl came, she said she was the real Vyvonne. She was always bugging my thoughts. Then it hit me. The memories haunt me, they just come screaming at me in flashbacks.

 

I held her hands and dragged her. Finally I  already found her. I’ve never stopped to search for her. I thought I’d lost her for good. I am so afraid if that thing will happen I might lose myself too.

“Come on let’s go home.” I dragged her hands but she was pulling it  back. I’ve tried to act like nothing happens. But deep inside I was hurt.

“Wifey please come back to me” I faced her but all I see was her eyes filled with tears. I..I can’t look at her because I might end up crying  too. I can also feel her pain that she was feeling and it hurt like double… No triple because she was hurting…

“No..I-I am not coming” she said and looked down on the floor. her tone was so serious that gives me a cold feeling inside of me. so many questions are running at the back of my mind. My mind can’t process what she had said to me.

“Please wifey… please. Let’s talk about this… please  don’t leave me, we were in this together.” My eyes began to wet and tears are flowing down my face. Darn, I don’t want to cry in front of her because I know it gives her pain seeing me  crying… my mind was not working all I know was I have to get her back. I dragged her inside the car. I don’t want to listen to her rough words because I know she was only saying that to hurt me and to leave her but I will never do that. I know she loves me, she was doing this for our own safety and I will never let her go.

I started the engine. We will go home whether she like it or not

“I’m not coming with you Niall. Please just let me go.” Her voice was shaking, she was not looking at me. Her pleading word was sent sharp knives stabbing my heart.

“Don’t say that wifey, we have to face our problems together you can’t just run and leave me.” I am trying my best to hold my another wave of tears because I am driving. I can feel the lumps on my throat and it hurts.

“THIS IS THE ONLY SOLUTION YO OUR PROBLEM NIALLER” she was shouting at me and it was echoing in my mind. No.. It isn’t.  “Things are getting harder for the both of us. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me. I—I can’t take that. I want you to be safe and alive. There’s a lot of people don’t want us. I thought before it was ok. I didn’t see this coming. Nailler I never thought that this relationship will cause your life to be in danger. I never imagine things will go out so bad” she started to cry and cover her face  with  her palm. It hurts to hear those words from her. Damn.  I—I can’t endure the pain it’s like someone is squeezing my heart. I can’t breathe I never felt this pain before.

“Don’t say that wifey, you know how much I love you and I don’t care if I risk all my life just to be with you. Please don’t give up on us. Please don’t leave me. We will face this problem together. Please stay with me I don’t know what to do if I lose you. I rather die than to see you leaving me.” tears are starting to fall that give me a blurry vision.

 “My decision was fin—NIALL WATCH OUT” I tried to swirl the car but it was too late  I heard a squeak and a bang sound then things went black.

 

She was telling the truth. I’ve remembered everything tear started to fall down my cheeks. I’ve remembered her but the cruelest part of it was losing her. Losing the girl of my dreams. I shouldn’t push her away. I should believe  in her. damn shit how can I be so stupid she was telling the truth the fucking truth but what I did; I told her some ruthless words that. I hurt her and I can’t believe that I did that to her. I hurt her and I can’t take it back. I love her so damn much. I was so blinded by the girl that I thought she was the real Vyvonne how could she do that to us. I regret not listening to my mates. I shouldn’t get angry with them.

I’ve REGRET  it all.

Now she’s gone. I hurt her. All she was fighting for us all alone and I was pushing her away. I have to get her back. I should find her but how?

 

 

                I immediately went back to the hotel I have to know what’s the reason why she was pretending. All along she was the one who is ruining our relationship.

I saw her on the veranda talking  to someone on the phone. I went across her slowly so that I can ear lobe their conversation.

“Finally I had him…. Yeah I didn’t put so much effort getting rid to that girl… like that she’s nothing compared to me… hahaha yes. I know I am so great. I had him in his neck… Niall was the one who push her… he taught that I was carrying his baby. Definitely girl… duh you’re stupid it’s not his baby. Oh wait I have to go bye”she turn around she was shocked when she saw me. I was fuming mad about what I’ve heard.

“Tell me the truth” my voice was shaking because of anger. How could she do that to us

 “What truth hubby? I—I don’t understand” her voice was shaking, I can feel that she’s scared.

“Don’t pretend anymore. I’ve heard it all. Why are you pretending to be Vyvonne?” she was walking away. I was so damn to not realize that she was different.

“I—I don’t know what are talking about hubby, I am Vyvonne” tears started to stream down her face. She’s a good actress damn her.

“WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PRETEND THAT YOU ARE VYVONNE, ALL THIS TIME I WAS PUSHING THE GIRL I LOVE BECAUSE OF YOU… DAMN YOU YOU.. YOU MAKE ME BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE HER.” I held her arms tight and my grips are becoming tight. I was so mad at her.

“I did that because I love you Niall, I did everything just to be like her… just to be her. But it was not enough... she didn’t love you because she gave up easily on you.” Her tears are streaming down her face.

“That’s what you call love huh? Ruining our relationship? You are so selfish.. GET OUT OF HERE. Before I did something  bad to you.” I said and let go of her arms

 

Damn I have to find her. I need to find her.

 

                I went to Zayn’s room to apologize for what I did and to know where she is. I know it’s late. I’d knock at his door.

“Damn mate what’s wrong with you. It’s  past midnight  and Anna was already sleeping.” He said.

“I’ve remembered everything. I have to find her please tell me where she is” I saw his face was shocked.

“What’s happening here babe?” I saw Anna walking towards us.

“Please tell me where she is… I need to talk to her. I’ve remembered everything” I said to Anna. I was holding her shoulder. Her tears began to drip out on her eyes.

“It’s too late for that she has gone… I don’t know where she is I’ve been looking for her. It’s all your fault because you pushed her away. Now I don’t know  where she is. She left us” she said. I feel like my whole world is slowly collapsing.

No it can’t be I have to find her. I will do my best to find her.

 

 

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