Kiss my Butt

Jerks 4 YOLO "y you no favorite?"

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13. Insults

I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.

 

This is an A B conversation, so you can C your way out of it.

 

A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.

The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."

 

A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." He asks "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!" The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren't you?" She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?" Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."

 

You're as sharp as a marble.

 

I haven't seen you run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.

 

A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."

 

How do you keep someone stupid occupied?
By telling them this joke.

 

If someone ever says, “What are you staring at?”
Say “I don't know, give me a minute.”

 

I don't know where you got your face from, but I hope you have the receipt.

 

You're so stupid you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.

 

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