Boys or Best Friends?

A poem/ very short story about a girl who was blinded by love to realise what she had. She realizes to late and loses the most important thing to her. Her Best Friend.

I wrote this poem a while back. Enjoy!

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1. Boys or Best friends?

 

He call's himself stupid, ugly, fat & unwanted. All because you never told him how you felt. He thinks that you love seeing him hate himself. But deep down in your heart, you know that you love him & that you hate seeing him like this, but what makes this feeling worse is that you can't tell him, for the fear that he doesn't like you. He thinks you ignore him when he talks to you, but you can't say anything, you're just choked up. Nothing comes out. Just his presence makes you nervous. One day he comes up to you & tells you straight out how he feels. Again. Nothing comes out. You're speechless. As he turns around & walks away your friends turn to you & shake there heads, dissapointed in you, for standing him up. Only your best friend knows how you feel. What he doesn't know is that you go home & cry yourself to sleep thinking he hates you because how you act around him. You can't live with yourself anymore. You think that you need to die & that no-one will miss you. That thought repeats itself in your head. It makes the pain worse. Your best friend calls & talks to you till you fall asleep, so she knows you wont do anything stupid while your alone. You go to school the next day, late, wearing horrible clothes, no makeup & bags under your eyes. All your friends ask you what happened. Only your best friend knows that you woke up that morning late, because you where on the phone to her, trying to save you. Because you cry so hard you become so tired its hard to function. Only she knows that the horrible outfit you were wearing is because it was the first thing you found. She KNOWS you had no time to put on make-up because you slept in. With everyone crowding around he comes over to see what the fuss is. He see's you in the middle & pushes past everyone &  when he gets to you, he holds you tight & whispers that he's there for you & that it will be okay, Little does he know HE Is the problem. You look at him & he looks at you. You finally have the guts to say right then & there you love him, always have & always will. He stares at you in shock.  As he leans down and steals your first kiss you cant help but smile. As he kisses you, you realise that right were you are now is were you want to be forever.  Little do you know, he is the guy you marry  & have kids to. 5 years after getting married you find out you have cancer, spread throughout your body. You're getting sick. You're getting worse. It reaches your heart and everyone knows your time is coming. Everyday you best friend comes and visits. Even when you're sleeping she tells you about your day and talks to you. Through it all your husband sleeps next to your bed, & holds your hand   the whole time. Never letting go except for eating, going to the bathroom, when your best friend comes or to hug your 5 year old baby girl, Darcy, who cries by seeing you the way you are. You get a surprise heart donor one day. From anonymous. The doctors wont tell you who & your husband doesn't know. It's the best thing anyone can ask for. Your best friend stops visiting so you send her a message telling her the great news. No reply. Two days later you & still no reply, you call her mum. You ask her where your best friend is. All her mum can say is that you were like her second daughter to her, and now you must be the first. Her mum explains how your best friend died to save you, so you could live with your family.  You slowly fall to the ground, in shock of the information you have been told. You slowly hang up. Your best friend was your donor. At this stage, you realise that the guy that slept next your hospital bed wasn't the big deal. Your best friend was. She always was & she always will be. That's when you realise that no matter what happened your best friend was there &  HE Wasn't. Right from the beginning. At this point you finally understand, she was the best thing that could of ever happened to you. But now she's gone, that you'll never hear her laugh again, that you'll never see her eyes or smile again. you realise you will never be able to hold her again. You realise that she gone. But not all of her. Now every night, you hold your heart and say her name over and over, until you start to cry, wishing you realized what you had from the beginning. Every night it gets less and less painful, knowing that she lives inside you, mentally and physically. You try to get over her. But you can't. She is literally a part of you. And she will be, forever. Until the day both of your hearts stop beating.   
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