Living Without Her

Crimson Echo Dixon is now 23 years old. She was 17 when her girlfriend, Lana Jane Parks, was severely burned in a house fire and died a day later. Everyday, she thinks about her. Crimson wonders if she'll ever let Lana go.

This is Crimson's life, and it still feels like Lana is in control.

This is the sequel to "My Angel".

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1. Everyday

I wake up and roll over. I fell asleep with the light on still. I turn off my lamp and lay in the dull roar of New York City.

"Good morning," I say aloud, knowing Lana hears me, knowing she won't answer me back. Sometimes, if I close my eyes, I can feel her holding me and she whispers sweet nothings into my ears.

They all say it's unhealthy to miss her as much as I do. "It's okay to be sad, but what you do is torture yourself Crimson." My mother told me that the last day I spoke to her. The woman who loved my girl as if she was her own daughter, forgetting her. She no longer remembers what perfume she used most (sweet pea), what the color of her eyes were (brown with flecks of gold that darkened when she cried), or her favorite food (cotton candy). She expects me to forget that Lana was ever a part of my life.

It's hard to when everyday, I hear her, I see her, smell her. It's almost like she never died.

 

I get dressed up for yet another blind date, set up by my friend, Robert. This will be his 17th attempt.

"Rosalie is beautiful and funny and loves rock music! What more could you want for a girl?" he told me. He gave me a dirty look when I answered "Lana."

Robert wasn't lying when he said Rosalie is beautiful. She has long, straight hair, with brown highlights that instantly catch my attention. We're actually able to hold a conversation, unlike most dates. But she doesn't even compare to Lana. My heart belongs to her, and even though she's 6 feet under, rotting, she's still beautiful to me.

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