Living Without Her

Crimson Echo Dixon is now 23 years old. She was 17 when her girlfriend, Lana Jane Parks, was severely burned in a house fire and died a day later. Everyday, she thinks about her. Crimson wonders if she'll ever let Lana go.

This is Crimson's life, and it still feels like Lana is in control.

This is the sequel to "My Angel".


6. Another Trip To The ER

I run into the emergency room in tears and everyone sitting stares at me.

"Please, make it stop! Make her stop!" I shout as I run up to the front desk. "I'm tired of hearing her. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired and I can't deal with it. It's all my fault and she won't shut up and I just want it all to stop!"

"Ma'am, please calm down," the nurse says, trying to soothe me to no avail.

"You don't understand! I'm getting tormented by my ex!" I tell her.

"Where is he?"

I point to my mind and start sobbing heavily. "She's in here."

Sandra walks back, then takes a second look at me and recognizes me.

"It's okay Bonnie, I've got her. I'll help her," Sandra says.

"But don't you have other patients?"

"Yeah, but this is a special case. You don't understand how severely in pain Miss Dixon is. It's killing her from the inside-out." Sandra drapes my arm around her neck. "C'mon now. I'll take you to the ward. We'll get you some help."


"So, you're girlfriend, she's talking to you?" Dr. Malone asks me for the third time.

"I've already said this." I mess with my shirt. "I'm scared."

"How long has she been gone?"

"Six years a couple weeks ago." I look around the room, but there's not much to see, because they don't want emotions to be provoked in the mental ward.

"Why do you think you've refused to let her go?" the doctor asks. He isn't asking side questions, which I kind of like, but don't at the same time.

"I don't know." But I do know. "I guess it's because she was my first love. She made my black and white world have color." I laugh at myself, realizing the irony of my world getting color as being a reference to being gay.

"In the past six years, would you say you're constantly tired? Do you sleep too little or too much? How about your eating habits?"

"Yeah, I guess. I sleep like a normal person I guess. Eat. I don't know. I don't really pay too close of attention."

"Have you had any suicidal thoughts or actions?"

I just stare at the wall and bite my lip. Please, just give me medication so I can be normal again.

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