Things I Can't

Warnings: self harm


2. Harry's Phone Call

School dragged on but she had dance and Harry's letter to look forward to.

"Do you need a ride to dance tonight?" She asked Kaci as they stood at the lockers, gathering up their books to take home.

"Yeah. My mum was gonna take me, but Tyler needed her car for something, so i wont have a car to use all night." She said stuffing her AP Chem notes into her bag.

"Ok cool, after I drop you off, I'll have a shower then I'll be to your place around five thirty." She said as she grabbed her Honors French book. "Ugh! I almost forgot I have a Chemisty exam on friday and I havent even started studying. I'm going to fail!" She cried, slamming her locker shut after grabbing her Chemisty book/ notebook. *Dont cry. Dont be a baby. Dont let them see you be weak.* the voice in her head taunted her. And she didnt. She held it in until after she dropped Kaci off. Until she was at the creek. Until she read Harry's letter.

She sat down on the bench, pulling her knees to her chest, taking a deep breath as she opened the envelope.

"Dear Ever," it began. Harry was the only one, besides Kaci that called her Ever.

"Hey babe! Feels like we haven't spoken in ages. I miss you! We've been to so many amazing places and I can't wait to show you all the pictures I've taken. You never text me anymore.. Have I done something wrong? Is everything ok? You seemed rather distant the last time we talked and that makes me worry. Please text me or call my phone whenever you're reading this so that i know you've recieved it. It would be nice to hear your voice XX


She immediately grabbed for she mobile and dialed him. He answered on the second ring.

"Ever?" He spoke, his voice deep and raspy.

"Have I woken you up? I'm sorry. I've just read your letter." She stammered.

"No, you didnt wake me." He chuckled. "I just finished having a nap. How are you? God, its so good to hear your voice."

"I'm.. I'm ok.. I miss you, Harry. What time is it where you are? Where exactly are you anyway?" She asked.

"We're in Paris so only an hours difference. So you're ok? Just ok? Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm sat on the bench by that little creek that we always go to. It's such a nice day out, as well. Have you been to any nice restaurants there? How's the food?"

"I miss that creek. We'll go, together, when I'm home for a bit. And you havent answered my question." He pressed. Leave it to Harry to pick up on everything and not let anything go. He was the kind that wouldnt drop something until gave him an answer.

When I didnt speak up, he pressed again.

"I asked you how you were. You told me that you were doing 'ok' so I asked you to clarify what exactly you meant by 'ok', and you've yet to offer me an answer. So here I am sat on the couch in the hotel, waiting for you to tell me what's going on." He spoke slowly, he voice husky and low.

*Dont cry now. you'll make him worry and then he'll want to fly home to be with you and it will mess up the tour. Do you want to ruin his life, you selfish, whiney bitch? Just suck it up.* The evil voice told her.

"Just a long day." She spoke the lie and her voice cracked, just a little.

"Just a long day?" He inquired.

"Well I'm stressing over a Chemisty exam that I have on Friday that I've completely forgotten to study for and I'm worried I wont get a good mark on."

"You'll do fine, babe!" He soothed "I'm sure Kaci will help you study if you ask her. Sooo... Oh!! Liam just sent me a text saying that we have 2 weeks of off time after the next concert so I'll be home on Saturday!" He exclaimed, her answer satisfying his inquiry.

"This Saturday? As in 5 days from now, Saturday?"

"Yes! So you will be able to tell me all about how you aced you Chemistry exam, and... also, I want to introduce you to one of my bandmates, I think the two of you will get on well." He said. "But I've to go now. Can you skype chat later? It's good to hear your voice but I don't want to wait for Saturday to see your face. It's been 3 months."

"yes, that will be perfect! I'll be home from dance around eight thirty."

"Eight thirty it is." He confirmed and she could hear the smile in his voice. "Love you babe, I'll 'see' you later!"

"Alright, i love you as well. Bye, Harry." She said and disconnected the call.

Stuffing her mobile in her hoodie, she pulled her hood over her head and walked back home to change for dance.

"I'll help you study." Kaci spoke softly as she got into Everleigh's car.

"Thanks." She said, finally relaxing a little.

"You'll do fine." Kaci encouraged. "Did you read Harry's letter?"

"Yes, actually, I called him. They are having a blast in France and even have a 2 weeks break so he will be home on Saturday!" She gushed

"There's the smile I've been waiting for." Kaci announced.

Dance was Everleigh's excape. Excape from home, from school, from life. It was the one of the only things besides listening to music that made her happy besides Harry and Kaci.

After dropping Kaci off, she headed home.

She smiled as she powerd on her laptop.

"Hey babe." Harry greeted her, smiling from ear to ear, his hair a tossled mess of curls. "How was dance?"

"Hi." She beamed. "It was good. Relax-" She was cut off by her stepmom screaming at her. This was so embarrasing. Harry didnt know about her home life drama bc she only skyped when her dad and his second wife aka Vivian aka The Queen Bitch, were out, but she had been so excited to talk to her bestfriend that she forgot to wait til they were in bed.

"EVER!!!!!!!" The Queen barked from down the stairs.

Everleight motioned with her pointer finger for Harry to give her a minute.

"What?! And dont call me Ever! My name is Everleigh!!" She shouted back.

Now there was a knock at the door and Everleigh was so upset that she forgot Harry was waiting for her on Skype.

"Open the damn door!! NOW!!" The Queen barked.

"Wha- ooww! That hurts! Let go!" Everleigh yelped.

"You need to get down here and do the dishes. Your sister is having friends over and the kitchen is a messy!" She demanded, slamming the door behind her.

And here it came. The floodgates opened and down came the rain.

"Ever?" Harry called out, concerned.

Everleigh snapped her focus back. Harry was on Skype. He'd heard it all. All the yelling. She dashed back to her laptop.

"Are you ok?" He said worriedly. His eyes looked sad and on the verge of tears himself.

Poor Everleigh, nothing could stop the waterfalls that fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She said, after a few moments. Collecting herself. Drying her eyes.

"Is she always that mean to you?" Harry choked out barely audible. "Answer me." He begged, when she didnt respond.

Everleigh nodded. Afraid that saying it out loud would make it real. Nodding was safe. It didnt hurt like words did.

"I wont let you spend one minute alone when I come home." Harry told her her. "I don't like how she yells at you. Please babe, don't cry. Ill be there soon. Meet me at the airport when we land, my mum and sister cant make it, and I want your face to be the first I see."

"I'll be there. What time?" She would not miss this for anything.

"8 am. I'll let you go for now so you can clean the kitchen. I dont want to give that bitch another reason to yell at you." Harry swore. "I love you. You matter to so many ppl, Ever. Do not let her bring you down. I cant wait to see your beautiful face on Saturday."

"OK. Love you, as well. See you Saturday." She ended the call and went down to the kitchen to clean. Making sure she did a thorough job so that everthing was perfect. She definitely did not want to get screamed at again. Once she was done she headed upstairs. As she took the last step at the top, her stepmum snatched her up by her arm and slapping her hard in the face. So hard that had she not been gripping her arm, Everleigh would have hit the wall.

"If you ever, EVER, sass me like that again. I'll have your dad cancel your dance lessons."

Everleigh shook free from her stepmum's hateful grasp and ran to her room.

"She said she would have dad cancel dance.." She sobbed to Kaci on the phone, "I'll die if she does that. She could call me all the name she can think of, even make me her personal Cinderella and NONE of that would hurt as bad as taking my dance lessons away from me."

"Breathe, Ever. Breathe. It's ok." Kaci soothed over the line. "Lie down, try to sleep. I'll ask mum to let me drive her to work and I'll come collect you in the morning for school. Be ready at twenty after."

"Ok. Thanks, K." Everleigh said, calming down a little.

She hung up with her friend and tried to relax.

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