The Valentine's That Changed Everything

For the 1SHOT41D Competition! WARNING: It does mention self-harm.

Hope you like it though! :)

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1. Freedom

 

For years and years, I was being bullied by the people at my school. I was sick of it. You'd think after a while, they'd get bored and move on, but nope. They got worse. I was constantly pushed in the hallways, names being thrown at me like they didn't mean a thing. They did to me. Every night I would cry myself to sleep because of the words I would hear.

Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Useless. Suicidal. Emo. Freak.

The list really does go on and on and on until I can't take it anymore. I am suicidal. I am depressed. I am useless. I believe every word they throw at me. I'm so insecure now, you'd have never thought I once used to be happy with my life. I had a few really good friends, good grades, loving family. Now I have none. My friends deserted me for the popular people, my grades fell when the bullying started and my family started hating me for becoming such a disappointment. They had always wanted a perfect child, with the perfect job, so I could see why they would be disappointed. I am disappointed in myself for letting it get this bad. I wish I could stick up for myself, just once. 

I sighed, picking myself off up my bed and walking downstairs, my stomach churning at the thought of what I was about to do. I just couldn't see an escape anymore. I grabbed my bag off the kitchen table, before walking out into the fresh air. I went out the back door because I was never allowed out, not until my grades picked up.

Climbing over the fence in my back garden, I walked through the woods on the other side. I stumbled a few times over branches that had fallen, but I managed to get to my favorite place in the world. It was a clearing in the woods. It's beautiful to me. Trees surrounded it, making it look hidden from the world. I guess in a way, it kind of was. I am the only person to come here. Not once had I seen anyone else come through here and I came to this place everyday, sneaking out of the house when I couldn't take the arguments about my grades anymore.

I sat down in the middle of the secluded space and sighed. I thought back to how I let my life get so bad, but I couldn't think of why everyone hated me. Even my so called friends, left me when I needed them most. I understood, they just didn't want to hang around with someone who was being bullied by the whole school. I just wish someone would stick up for me, help me through it. I'm not coping well on my own. The cuts on my arms were proof of that.

Opening up my bag, I grabbed my purse and unzipped the little side pocket. Picking out the object, I held it to the sunlight, knowing it was my only way to escape. This blade had become my only friend when things got tough. I admit, it wasn't the best way to get through things, but I have trust issues. It's hard for me to open up to anyone, including my parents. So I take everything out on myself, with the tiny bit of hope that things would get better. Yet with each day I suffered, more hope was lost, until it just wasn't there anymore. I have no one to rely on, only the music of the band One Direction. It sounds so cheesy, but those 5 guys truly have saved my life and I can't tell anyone about it. It sounds stupid even to myself, but Harry's solo in What Makes You Beautiful saved my life. Their music got me through the times when I wanted to leave this world. Things have changed now. Their music no longer helps and I don't know why. Maybe this was God's way of saying it's my time.

I brought the blade to my wrist, preparing myself for what I was about to do. People would call this a coward's way out, but I call this my way of freedom. I can be free this way. Just as I was about to take my own life, I heard voices shouting in the woods. I froze, not knowing who they were. They could be rapists for all I know. Shaking, I stayed sat on the grass, hoping they would leave soon so I could die in peace. When I couldn't hear those people, I closed my eyes and brought the blade back to my skin. My sleeves were rolled up, exposing my scars, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be out of this hell.

"DON'T DO IT!" I heard someone shout, and my eyes opened in shock. 

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