Orthorexia: How She Changed My Life

I'm Xanthe Freed and I'm another teenager with a secret. Mine is bigger than most. It's not relevant to boys, it's not relevant to bitches. I'm just a girl with a problem- and that problem is Orthorexia Nervosa.
I'm Xanthe Freed and this is my story.


5. Joel

I spoke to Joel today. We were sat in Physics, wiring some plugs, and the class room was relatively quiet with just a few conversations scattered around. For a while, I just stared at him. Eventually, he noticed, put down his plug and turned to me.

"What's bothering you, Xan?" he asked, his blue-grey eyes boring into me. I sighed, fiddling with my screwdriver.

"My sister asked about my eating disorder last night."

"Oh yeah? How come? I didn't think that your sister was overly interested in Orthorexia."

"She's not, really. But she is worried about one of her friends. She thinks that they have an eating disorder." Joel looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "That friend is your sister..."


"Look, I know it's not a nice thing to talk about, but Gretchen is really worried about Avery, and I told Gretch that I would talk to your sister about it, just to see if she is displaying any telltale signs of an eating disorder." Joel stayed silent, toying with the woven leather bracelet that he always wears on his right arm. "Joel, I wouldn't have said anything, but the way Gretchen was acting worried me. I just want to help. The last thing I want is for your family to go through what my family has gone through because of me. If Avery does have an eating disorder, then maybe we can nip it in the bud early. The last thing I would wish on anyone is to go for as long as I did without help. If I'd kept going, I could be dead right now," I said, putting my plug down. "Just think about it, okay?" I grabbed my bag and headed for the door as the lunch bell chimed, leaving Joel sat at the bench by himself.

It was definitely an awkward conversation to have, but it was a conversation that needed to happen.

I've been avoiding him since then.

Technically, I'm supposed to be in PE right now, but my latest weigh-in has had me sent back to the nurses office during games. Sadly, I'm not putting any weight on. It's coming off again, and that's not what I need. 

I can see Joel from where I'm sat. He's playing rugby with the rest of the boys. He's a good rugby player, and his wavy blond hair really suits a muddy rugby jersey... Oh God, what am I saying? I can't be crushing on Joel. Not now- not ever! I need to stay focused on Avery. Avery and not losing weight.


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