What to do

When Rachel goes to a party with her friends and ends up kissing Harry, zayn, Niall, Liam, and Louis(the 5 most popular guys in school) her life turns upside down. who will get her? (In this story the boys are not one direction)

Complete book.


41. After life but before death

You think that when you die you know it's going to happen, you get to say goodbye to everyone you love, your life feels complete. But that's not how it happens. My boyfriend crushed a memory of me, my heart was shattered, two of my best friends are in comas, I'm not on speaking terms with the other. My life was horrid and it all came to a sudden stop, a painful stop. Maybe I'm in a coma, maybe I'm dead, maybe it was all a dream, and I'm laying safe and comfortably in my bed. I hope it's the last one, because I can't die without saying goodbye to Colton. The one regret I have is not saying goodbye to Colton. Colton and I. We're all eachother has in this world. If I am dead, or dying, I'd want Colton to know I love him. When he left, the last time I saw him, I didn't say 'I love you' or even 'have a safe trip home.' I said 'Kay. See you soon.' And let him go. My brother. Colton emery. The most important person in my life. 
His name set off a slideshow of memory's, a bunch of us together. 

I thought when you died there would be nothing, but for me its as if I'm sitting in a black room, not able to do anything, go anywhere, the only thing I'm able to do is sit and reminisce, regret, and wish.
I never got to go to New York. Or anything like that. My bucket list. Still uncompleted. 
Most of them were girly stupid things, but some were true, important dreams. I always wanted to have kids, a family, a big white wedding. Something important. Something significant. My life feels as if its only half done, I was living in the moment as a teenager should. My life wasnt done yet! I need it back! I want to have my own house, not a flat, a real big house. That I live in with my kids husband and maybe a dog. If my life is over than fuck. I never truly lived, I was never married. Why am I the one to die!? I'm young! Ha! All those songs that glorify dying young, make it sound like if you party like your going to die young it's fine. No. Dying young is far from fine. It's awful. Horrid. I want a full understanding of what's happening.
 The thing is; the rooms not black. My eyes are closed. My life's not over, it's just paused.
If I am dead. I want a chance to see the people I love once more.


I open my eyes and glance around. I'm in a hospital, not on a bed, I'm standing by a door. Watching. I take a few steps to the bed, to see that the crowd around it is my friends and Colton, Niall and Liam are in beds in this room as well. I'm glancing at this girl, her bodies horrible mangled, and I'm wondering if I know her. The thing that tips me off is the owl necklace that's hanging loosely around her neck. It's me. I feel my eyes glance at the mirror thats handing on the wall, in it is a reflection of Zayn, Colton, and Harry looking at my body, crying, but I'm not in it. Then it hits me. Louis not here, Louis not here. Louis not here. It's an echo that's flying around my skull, slowly fading. I turn to grab Harry and ask where Louis is but my hand goes though him, he isn't fazed, not noticing me. I feel like I'm in a movie, forced to watch the ones I love mourn over me.
"May. I'm so sorry. Wake up. Open those eyes." Zayn whispered squeezing my lifeless hand. I feel him squeeze it. 
"I'm right here Zayn!" I scream, trying to get his attention.
"I love you." Zayn whispered even quieter.
"Zayn! I'm right here!" I screamed, waving my arms around. He doesn't see me. Him and Harry leave the room, leaving colton with both of me. "rae. i know. i know i messed up, leaving you to go back to my ex. Please. Please wake up, we need eachother. Me without you is like life without air. I love you Rachel. Your the best sister anyone could ever ask for." Colton's words are accompanied by tears flowing down his cheeks. I opened my mouth to say I love him too, everything disappearing into a black whisp of air. 

I'm back in the black room, although its not black anymore, or a room, it's a dark navy blue hall. At the end is a white door. There are a million doors on either side, a million possibilities. I open a door, blackness awaits but I step into it anyways, I go through a fog and am now in a room with Myself and Conrad, watching him abuse me. I quickly run out of the room and enter the hall again. 
A big black door with the words -23weeksfuture- catches my eye. I take a deep breath and push the door open. I'm in Louis and my house watching as he kisses a tall blonde and pushes her up against a wall.
"I love you Louis." She whispers.
"I love you Karen." He replies, kissing her again. I watch as she rubs the bump on her stomach and he grins. "I'm glad you were Rachel's nurse." Louis words caught me off gaurd and I watched as they shared another embrace. A white flash of light and I'm in zayns flat. He's on his knees at the foot of his bed praying.
"Rae. Where ever you are. I miss you. Life isn't easy without you. things have been nice since you passed but I love you forever and always." A tear slipped from his eye and he whipped it. Standing as a beautiful brunette walked in and kissed him.
Liam's flat, he's recovered from his coma and is happy, single, eating chocolate, watching a movie. He turns to a picture of the five of them and me, taken at a party, and chuckles.
"Life has been so drama free Rachel. I miss you but I love how it is now." He smiles and turns back to the movie.
Nialls house in Ireland. 
"I hate to say it but life's been great since I woke from my coma, Rae's dead but I feel as if I don't need To be broken about it." He mutters to his mother, who gives his hand a squeeze.
The hardest house was Harry's. he's perfectly fine. Not even crying, or talking about me, it's like I've been whipped off his life.

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