My Angel

Lana Jane Parks is a 16 year old girl who moves from England to a small town in New York. She already is different with her accent, but in so many other ways as well.

Note: I do not claim any famous people/things mentioned.


7. How To Out

Now what?

I lay on my couch at stare at Mum, preparing dinner, chicken caesar salad. I'm not hungry though; I'm too nervous. Crimson and I have been together for about a month now, and I've yet to come out to my mum. She understands, but I feel like I'm betraying her and her feelings by not telling.

I don't care who knows. The entire school body and our teachers know about us, and usually, nothing bad is said.

I'm torn between telling her and keeping this a secret until she dies. Crimson is beautiful and awesome, but Mum won't understand. I think she rather me dead.


We're holding hands, smiling. She's in an oversized ACDC shirt and booty shorts and still look tiny, like I could hold her in the palm of my hand. But she's screaming. No sound is coming out. I think she mouths the word "run". Run, run, run, from what?

"I don't understand babe!"

Again she mouths "run".

Then everything goes black.


Over the course of the next week, I write dozens of failed letters to Mum, trying to come out to her.

I tried the abrupt: "Hey, I'm a lesbian."

And the: "I like girls."

I tried the more shy: "So, I kind of might a little bit but not really like but not like but love a girl and might or might not want to do bad things to her."

Nothing seemed right. I always see the end result in my mind. She's going to yell at me. She's going to kick me out. It's okay though, because Crimson's parents said I could move in with them if that happens. There must be something about the whole "You-can't-get-my-daughter-pregnant" thing that they must really like.

All this stress is pushing me too far. I need a joint.

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