The Way You Saw Me

After losing his mother to cancer two years ago Kellin's life has been spiraling down fast. He struggles to stay motivated to live every day and has lost is hope in society. Just he's losing his faith, the new girl shines a new light into his world and journeys with him as he slowly gains it back.


2. The Last First Day

           For the rest of the class period we sat next to each other awkwardly.  This new girl and me.  I couldn't tell if I liked her or not.  She was quiet, and kept to herself which generally means one thing: she's totally full of herself.  So I decided to do what any smart guy would do; ignore her back.  Michael noticed her but didn't care enough to say anything and Alexa just looked her over up and down.  That's one thing about girls that I will never get.  They always look each other up and down-sizing each other up.  Weird.  The new girl sat quietly and class was boring so I decided to take a nap.  It was still early in the morning and it's not like my teacher cared. 




           As the bell rang I jolted awake. The noise made my head begin to pound again.  I slumped back into my seat.  I didn't want to be at school anymore.


           "Wake up sleepy head," Alexa giggled as she whapped me on the back of the head.  "Its time to go!"

           "Ugg....." I replied, "Fine... I'm coming, I'm coming." As I sat up out of my chair, Ieaned over to grab my backpack but in doing so I knocked over the new girl's bag. 


           "Ooooo, someone's a little clumsy today!" Alexa sneered as she looked back.  Michael snickered too as he walked out of the room.  Great friends right...


           "I'm sorry, let me help you with that," I bent over to help her clean up.


           "Oh don't worry about that," she said kind of bashfully.  She face turned bright pink. I don't know why but seeing her like that made me kind of embarrassed too.  I quickly helped her with her things then stood back up. "Thank you," she smiled, "so much. I'm sorry for the trouble!" 


           "You're sorry? I was the one to knock your stuff over so it's no worries." I replied. I smiled a little bit then began to walk away.  It was kind of a small moment in the history of my life, but something about it felt real, for the first time in a while. 


           I made my way out of the classroom and off to my next class.  The rest of the day went on from there just like every other day.  I showed up to my classes, made myself comfortable, and zoned out.  My class schedule for the day went like this: Math (which I missed on the first day), Chemistry, German, a cooking class, some political class, English, and then an art class.  In all honesty, I could easily get all A’s in my classes but all the teachers here are so pious I don’t feel like it’s worth my time to do work.  Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve had a good teacher since the second grade. 


            I arrived at my last class of the day.  My art class, Painting I.  Apparently if I didn’t take an art class I wouldn’t be able to graduate.  I walked into the room a few minutes after it started.  Normally I don’t care if I’m tardy.  Hell, I don’t care if I don’t show at all, but when I walked in to my painting class today my teacher was already in lecture.


            “See what I mean class? Just like this one you all wonder around, not caring if your late, not caring about your future, just wondering. You all just walk around like Neanderthals; only Neanderthals at least had a drive to survive.  You all just wonder around aimlessly like ‘oh this class looks easy, I won’t have to do any work so I’ll just take this’.  So if you took this class as an easy A you’d better switch out now because it ain’t happening.”  I blankly stared at him. I think his name was Mr. Eue. I wasn’t sure what to think or do so just found a spot and slunk into it.  I looked around the room.  It was a class with pretty mixed grades (anyone can take it) but there weren't too many seniors in here like me. On the opposite side of the room I saw that new girl again.  The second I noticed her my heart started to race a little bit more.  I thought back to earlier in the day and quickly looked away. I didn’t know what to do so I just began listening to the teacher as he continued his rant, or as he might consider it, lecture.


           The hour passed and soon enough class was over.  It felt like it took forever though for some reason.  Mr. Eue was very eccentric.  I was beginning to regret this class, too bad for me I didn't have any other choice.  If I didn't take it I wouldn't graduate. 


           People started packing up their things for the day and made a b-line for the door.  As I stood up I looked over across the room and saw the new girl looking over at me.  Her eyes darted away and she pulled her bag over her arm and left.  Her blonde hair was bouncing down her back and the sight of it was hypnotizing.  My ex girlfriend Rachel had nice hair, but not like this.  I guess it's just something I notice as a guy.  I walked out of the class as well and headed towards my locker.  I opened it up grab my skateboard when I heard an obnoxious noise.



           "Hey babe," it was Tanner Champ and Rachel. They where just down the hall from me. Joy.


           "Hey baby, whats up?" She replied back, but before she finish he grabbed her and laid one on her. "Baby," she giggled, and looked over at me then back  to him. "I think we should go over to my house for a little while. Study session. Just you and I since no one is home right now." She smiled the big devilish at him.  He smiled back.


           "Sure thing babe, lets do it" he put his arm around her and then the two of them walked right by me like I was a ghost. It pissed me off so bad. I got my stuff and heading towards the door. I wanted to be done with high school already. When I got home my dad was already gone to the bar. I threw my bag to the ground. Ralph began barking at me.


           "Shut up you stupid dog," I said as I took him outside.  I watched him outside run around and do what he needed to. While he ran around I pulled out my little flask of Jack Daniel's and took a drink.  I know I'm underaged and this will probably kill me someday but since my mom died I don't care and my dad is too busy drowning his own sorrows to notice. After a few more slugs I brought Ralph back in and fed him.  I made some dinner for myself and turned on the TV. I bummed around for the next few hours or so.  Finally at 11:30 I got a phone call from the local bar. It was Dave, one of the bartenders.


           "Hey Kellin," he said, "Your dad is past his limit tonight, can you come pick him up?" 


           "It seems a little earlier than usual but ok sounds good. I'll be there in five." I said and hung up.  This happens a few times a week or so. I'm now on a first name basis with all the bar owners and bartenders in town. My dad's favorite place go to though is Mickey's. That would be where my parents would go together once a month for a date night back when mom was alive. Now dad's in there at least 3-5 times a week.  I walked out to the car and put the keys in.  I looked in the mirror and just felt like pausing. I was tired of this routine. But it was one day down. I was done with my last first day of high school.


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