The Way You Saw Me

After losing his mother to cancer two years ago Kellin's life has been spiraling down fast. He struggles to stay motivated to live every day and has lost is hope in society. Just he's losing his faith, the new girl shines a new light into his world and journeys with him as he slowly gains it back.


3. How Mornings Begin

           It was time for a new day.  My alarm had gone off and Ralph was at the end of my bed licking the bottoms of my feet. I rolled over, "stupid dog," I muttered. I was beginning to fall back asleep when I heard my dad's voice talking to me.


           "Come on Kellin, time to get up. I got a call from your school yesterday saying that you weren't in your first class. I'm not letting you sneak out of you class today. Come'on. Up."  My dad, Jim, is usually at work by the time I go to school but I guess today was different. 


           "FIne I'm up," I staggered to my feet. I was just in some sleeping pants.  My hair was a tangled mess and my eyes felt sore.  


           "You takin' care of yourself Kellin?" he asked looking at me up and down. I was slightly confused by his question seeing as he's been neglecting me for some time.


           "Yeah dad, I'm fine." I said looking at him.


           "Ok. Well get up. I'm going now." He said and he walked away.  "Oh by the way son, your hair's getting kind of long. You might want to get that cut. I'll leave some money for you on the table if you want to do that." I watched as he left. I felt a small pit in my stomach because honestly, I haven't been taking care of my self. When I stopped to think about it, I drink, I smoke (and sometimes it's more than just cigaretts), scars have appeared on my arms, and I've lost 20 lbs in the last couple of years. I quivered. I realized that I'm not the guy I once was at all.  All my morals washed away when mom died and I've just come to not care anymore. I needed to stop being so mopey though and needed to get dressed. I combed my hair. I liked it kind of long. I was often told at parties that it looks hot on me by girls. 


           I pulled on some clothes, poured a bowl of cereal and brought Ralph outside. I sat down and ate it on the front porch. I watched how Ralph wagged his little tail and sniffed around. I got Ralph when I was a little boy. He was just a pup then, but he's gotten kind of old now. As I was looking out at my dog I got a text from Michael. He asked me if I wanted a ride to school today. I texted him back 'why not'. Now I have my moms old car, and my skateboard if I want to go to school but somedays I'm too hungover or stoned to drive. Today I was sober and didn't need a ride, but I was tired and felt like riding with Michael anyways. He probably had some burning news he needed to tell me anyways. 


           I just finished putting my dishes away and bringing Ralph in when Michael pulled up. He drove a big red dodge truck. To top it off it was brand new too. His parents give him anything he wants. His dad is some big wig to some corporation and his mom owns her own local boutique. I went outside and got into his car.  He had that look on his face: the look of good news.


           "What's up man?" I asked him.


           "Dude I just got my letter yesterday!" He replied.


           "Your letter? For what?" I inquired.


           "From Madison! I just got accepted into the University of Madison!" Madison is a pretty big party school here in Wisconsin and they're known for their engineering program. Michael was going there for both reasons. 


           "Wow man, congrats! That's awesome! Your parents paying for it?"  I was stoked for him.


           "Yes sir! It will be so awesome! I can't wait to get out of here. There's nothing new anymore. Everything's the same old, same old, ya know?" He said. It was true.


           "Yeah I know how that is," I said. 


           "So Kellin where do you think you'll go next year?" Michael asked. I thought for a second. 


           "I don't know man. I haven't really thought of it." I replied honestly.


           "Dude, you have to get on that, it's less than a year til we graduate. We don't really have time anymore to waste our lives away like we used to." Says the one that got accepted into a major party school. But in reality I knew he was right. I needed to get a job to start saving for college, I needed to look into what I wanted to do, but I've just been letting it slip away I guess. Before I knew it we were at school. Day two. 


           I got out of the truck and closed the door. Michael was on the other side lighting up a cigarette.  "You want one too Kell?" he asked. Of course I wanted one.


           "Nah man I can't. If I get busted one more time I'm screwed." I replied. I was at my last chance. If I get caught drinking, smoking, or doing anything against the law or school rules again I'd be suspended. I couldn't stand have that happen. That would mean making up for it next year - being a super senior. Terrible. That thought was just terrible. So rather than join Michael (who by the way was 18) for a smoke I just stood next to him and waited for him to finish.  He flicked the cigarette butt and started walking into school. I followed.


           "What's your first class of the day?" Michael asked. 


           "I think I have Math with Jenkins." I replied.


           "Jenkins is pretty good. I have him my fourth period." Michael responded.


           "Sweet. What's your first class?" I asked. 


           "I took 'Aerobics for Life'" He smiled at me.


           "No way..." I looked at him. Everyone at our school knew that Aerobics for Life of mostly, if not all, females. Not only that but every friday the would do yoga the whole period. It is paradise for every high school boy sneak a peak of this class. It takes a guy with a ton of confidence to sign up for that class.


           "Hell yeah," he grinned, "and you know what the best part is, that hot chick Vicki Stone is in my class too. Friday's are gonna be da bomb!" I was legitimately jealous. I wanted to see 20 high school girls in yoga pants working out on a daily basis. Michael always lucks out.


           "Damn man," I laughed, "that sounds sweet."


           "I know!" He smiled his mischievous grin again, "I look forward to it." And the two of us walked into school. We met up around the halls with Alexa and some other friends of ours before class started making small talk and talking smack about the people at our school. It was what felt comfortable to me, and then I remembered what Michael said about college. We'd be out of here soon enough and all this would be gone. Where would I be then? At that moment my thoughts were interrupted by the bell. It was time for our first class of the day to begin.


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