When "Hello" Isn't Enough

my friend wanted me to post her story, too, so...
original: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/363240

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5. No One Cares

 

As soon as we got home, I ran straight into the bathroom and took out what was left of my stash.

"Siwoo, come on! Don't do this!" Ray begged as he tried to open to door. "Please!"

I ignored his constant begging and filled the syringe with the toxic drug. Ray kept trying to get me to stop, but I wouldn't. Why would I stop doing something that makes me feel this good?

"Siwoo, stop!" Ray kept begging.

My hands started shaking from the anticipation. I slowly poked the needle into my vein and injected the drug. I sat against the wall and waited for it to take effect. Once it did, it felt as if the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders and I no longer felt like crying. But I didn't feel the warm, fuzzy feeling I always felt, though. I need more.

~Haneul's POV~

As I was walking home, I decided not to tell Oppa how much I'm afraid of going to school. After all, I was the one who wanted to go and he warned me about it. If he found out I was afraid, he'd call me a coward and beat me. 

I got home and noticed he still wasn't home, but there was a note on the coffee table.

There's a mess in the kitchen. Clean it before I get home with only this or you know what will happen.

I put the note down and picked up the toothbrush and rag that were next to it. There was no point in using actual cleaning supplies because he always hides them. I went into the kitchen and my jaw dropped when I saw the greasy mess all over the floor.

"At least it's better than getting beaten..." I sighed as I started scrubbing. 

~~~

After several hours of non-stop cleaning, I finally finished. My hands and knees were red and I felt as if I was about to pass out.    I heard keys jingling and the door opening.

"Oppa, I'll make this a night you'll never forget," a nasaly voice purred. Oppa brought another girl home from the bar again...

"Cute. You think you're going to be in control," Oppa laughed.

They started kissing sloppily, but she pulled away once she saw me sitting on the floor. "Um, who's that?"

"That's no one," he answered and gestured for me to leave.   "Is she your girlfriend? Wife?"

"No, she's just someone I look after."

"She's your daughter? Ugh, such a deal breaker. I'm out of here," she graoned and left the house.

Oppa turned to me with an angry look on his face. "You..." he growled. He took off his belt and started whipping me on the back.

"Oppa, please stop..." I cried.

He ignored me and whipped me hard on the back. I could feel the welts starting to form.

"Why should I? You deserve this like you deserve everything else!" he yelled in a drunken rage. "You're a stupid whore who needs to learn a lesson!"

"But I-I didn't do anything," I pleaded. I knew it wouldn't work, but it was worth a try.

He stopped whipping me and pulled me by the hair and into his bedroom. He threw me onto the bed and had his way with me.

~~~

I woke up and Oppa was sleeping with his arms wrapped around my waist. This wasn't unusual. It happens a lot. He'd hurt me, rape me and act like nothing happened. I slipped out of bed carefully to not wake Oppa. It hurt to move, but I had to. I took a cold shower, hoping to ease the pain, but it didn't. If anything, it made it worse. I cleaned up the dry blood with the little strength I had and got dressed for school.

Walking to school caused the pain to grow worse. I was limping by the time I got there. People didn't even bother asking if I was okay. No one cared. No one would ever care.

I was the first in the classroom again and sat in the back like yesterday. A sharp pain shot through me as I sat down.   I rested my head on the desk and closed my eyes, wishing for the pain to go away. To my dismay, it didn't.    The class slowly filled with students and sat up again, but kept my gaze down. I could feel a pair of eyes on me. I looked up to see Siwoo staring at me.

It scared me a lot. I didn't know why he was staring, but I had a feeling it was because he wanted to hurt me. I looked back down and tried to ignore him as much as I could.

~Siwoo's POV~

"You have to stop doing this to yourself, Siwoo," Ray said. "You're going to get yourself killed one day."

"Maybe that's what I want..." I muttered under my breath.

"Excuse me? Don't say that. Think about how many people you'll hurt if you did that."

"Who? Just you? No one cares about me! I just want to be with Umma and Appa."

Ray stopped talking after that. He hates it when I bring our parents into these situations.

We got to school and Ray went to his class without saying anything to me. I went to my class and that new girl was there. I think her name is Haneul. She looked really tired and she was sitting awkwardly. She wasn't moving and kept staring at the desk. It struck me as odd, but I've probably done worse.

She looked up at me and that's when I realized that I had been staring at her. I looked away quickly and so did she. She's acting even weirder than yesterday. She isn't even making fun of me like everyone else. Maybe I could get her to be my friend. Maybe I could make her care.

Here goes nothing. "Hello," I said quietly.

She didn't respond. Who am I kidding? Who would want to be my friend?

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