life without her

jake's life turned upside down after the secret willow has been keeping from him came to light , he thought they'll grow old together but he began to wonder if there is such a thing called a happy ending....
for movellas the fault in our stars :writing contest .based on a quote by john green "That’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt"

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2. the unstoppable fate

You have to promise that you'll be okay' after my-." i cut her off "don't just don't" i shouted sobbing

"You have to jake just promise i don't want to die feeling like i took your life and turned it upside down i don't want to feel like i've ruined everything for you" she said  placing her hand on my cheek

"You didn’t you gave me forever in the time we spent together I’ m so happy with you i love you everything will be okay i promise you"ll get better we’ll be happy and we"ll get old and i"ll die long time before you do"she cut me off saying" oh jake promise me you'll be okay after I’m gone promise me you'll be happy again and that you'll enjoy all the things you enjoyed before"

"Okay.i p..promise" i took her head in both my hands and kissed her cheek her eyes were so blue those beautiful blue eyes that i've fallen for the first time i saw her those blue eyes will close so early. so young .

"Are you in pain. great pain?? Is it unbearable?" i asked weeping i hated myself for being so weak for showing her my weakness i wanted to be the strong one to show her that i was strong enough to take care of her i wanted to comfort her to make her believe everything was going to be okay....even if it was....a lie

" that’s The thing about pain jake it demands to be felt" she said

"God i love you" i kissed her on the forehead the smell of her hair i couldn't possibly get enough of it

If only i could bottle it and spray it in air whenever i miss her most...if only but just now i became sure that the world is not a wish granting factory

"But the water you didn’t notice it was boiling” i asked

" a couple of days ago i began to lose the feeling in my hands the pain is fading gradually as the end is coming closer but it's okay the pain is going away" she said sadly lying to me and to herself as well

She placed her head on my shoulder staring ahead of her as if she was looking somewhere far away she was starring at the mirror looking through it as if she was monitoring life on earth looking at how the earth will look after her , watching life going on without her people moving on without noticing her absence

"Wills there are treatments you know. Chemo therapy and all) i said my voice shaking

"I don’t" she took a breath” want to suffer anymore jake  in this state chemotherapy won't do me good it won't destroy cancer it will destroy me the cancer is everywhere it's made of me i want to live my remaining time peacefully with you and Lucy" she said weakly

"It will be alright ..everything you'll be okay" i said trying to comfort her  or myself  i lied  

We sat their hand in hand at the edge of our bed her head on my shoulder both of us trying to cope with the new situation we sat there for hours until the first light of the sun stretched in the sky

And until we heard Lucy crying

"I'll go " i said

"No i'll go i want to be there for her till i cant anymore" she then stood i was going to protest put the placed her finger on my mouth and i couldn’t say a thing she left the room but her scent spread in the air around me hugging me till it faded and the world in front of my eyes began to fade as well

I woke up the sun has risen it was so bright i went to Lucy’s room looking for her at first i couldn't see her lucy was taking a nap and willow was no where to be seen but then i saw her lying on the floor unconscious i didn’t know what to do, i called 911. it was the first time but then i got used to it

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