I Know You're Not Reading This

I know you're not reading this, but I still hate you. I always will. What gives you the right? I'm holding onto the hope you won't come back but if you do, count yourself dead.

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2. Moving On

"Miss Summers, tell me what you saw on the day."

I breathed in and stopped. What did I know about the day? I knew Jay had tried, but they got away. I could describe the young lad. Would that be any use?

"I don't remember too much. I got up, heard them moving things. I got Jay up and we stood by the door, then Jay went out where they could see him. I heard a fight but I didn't go out because I was scared. When I came out, Jay was on the floor. The lad, I..."

I stopped. Jay smiled at me and I nodded. The policeman stared at me, leaning forward to inspect my face and expression. I sighed.

"I saw him. He had brown hair, a long face and was quite small. He was thin and had a ying yang tattoo behind his...left ear."

I breathed out. The policeman smiled thankfully, then turned to Jay and began asking him the same. Jay was frowning at me but never differed my story. Lying felt sweet.

I sat on the sofa. The doors were locked, the windows closed and I was alert. The TV was just a blur, a backdrop to my watching face. Jay came out of the kitchen and smiled.

"You'll be fine." He said and he sat down with me. I sighed.

"It's been a while." I nodded. Jay knew what I meant. Exactly a year since we were robbed. I'd let myself be paranoid for 365 days now. A year of my life had slipped away, but my therapist said it could be up to a decade before I'd be happy and relaxed on my own in my home.

"You could move on." Jay smiled. I knew I should but he knew I wouldn't. I wanted to have a family here, where I felt safe. We may have Amanda but she was already on the way when the robbery happened. The extra bedroom would forever be empty if I didn't move on. I laughed. Amanda didn't know about it, Jay had moved on but his wife was hung up on an old robbery. I felt pressured, but I trusted Jay.

"I think I have."

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