From One to Oneself

This is a monologue I wrote, it's from the point of view of someone talking to another person about how they view their own life. How their life is changing, and even if the change is so hard that they no longer want to live in it anymore, they must adapt and live for other people until they can once again live for themselves.

I wrote this at a really hard time in my life when I was thinking about ending my own. It's a very close, personal, piece and I hope that someday it can help other people sort out their feelings like rereading it helps me.

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1. From One to Oneself

Things change; it's the way of life. Things are never easy, no matter whether they seem so or not. It's never easy to move on from change, it's never easy to forget or remember what happened before change. You just have to bite your lip and pick up the pieces, most of the time it hurts more than anything in the world. There is no one who can escape their own feelings; it's hard enough to run without something chasing you, always just a step behind you. But the worst part is when you finally realise you could never go back to the last time, a time before you became who you are today, sitting in front of me, listening. You can never go back to the way you were when there was no sympathy and your world was only you, since then you have expanded your world letting other people into your heart. It's painful to remember, painful to consider sometimes, what you may or may not have done in the past. Everyone has regrets; you just have to take them the good and the bad memories. At one point you cry, then at another you will cry a lot. But those are never the times that you live for, the times that you live for are the ones that you laughed about, the ones that you felt the happiest; you live for what you are thankful for, you live for you and when you can't you begin to live for other people. When I started this I didn't know what I was writing about, what this was for, now I realise it is thoughts, some feelings and lessons that I've come to learn. The fact is that your here now, and this is who you are.

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