Lose Yourself.

I thought returning would be good, I thought it would be healthy—for the both of us. My sister, Haley, she deserved a life; a normal one. We both did. I was exhausted from running, from being someone I wasn't.

I needed to come back.

It wasn't long before I had her convinced that we needed to see Sam again—that he deserved to see us. Little did I know that returning home would change our lives forever.

I'm ready.

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4. Goop.

"Well, that's La Push for you." Her laughter didn't settle the unease in my stomach, nor did it help the idea of possible death. She noticed my doubtful expression, "Oh, come now, Aliyah. A wolf has never been seen on the reserve."

I snorted unattractively, "That doesn't exactly mean much."

Emily sighed and stopped stirring the pot of warm goop, "They're not dangerous. Don't go wandering and maybe they won't get you." I stormed off into the living room. I knew she was kidding, it's something she must've picked up from the guys. No one around here took much seriously—it was like 'happy play time' for everyone. The reality of the matter was that there were wolves roaming the large, constant forest in our front yard.

Unfortunately, the closest I was going to get away from the forest would be in Seattle—and I had no plans on going into the city any time soon. These people are crazy. Maybe I was just too uptight. Everyone seemed so at ease, and I couldn't blame them. I mean aside from very large boys running around shirtless to wolves, La Push was a beautiful place. High cliffs, amazing green scenery—it was quiet and it was home.

"I love Em's cooking and all, but that doesn't look very appetizing." Haley dropped herself into the chair across from me, lounging comfortably. See, even you're fifteen year old sister can be at east. What's the matter with you?

"For someone who isn't too fond of the wet and cold, you don't seem to complain much." I noted, staring knowingly at her. "Who are you and what have you done with my arrogant, bratty sister?" I dodged a couch pillow.

She huffed, "She seems to be enjoying herself. Why? What's it to you?"

I shifted again, "Did you know there are wolves here? Wolves, Haley. Roaming freely in the forest!" She laughed, just as loudly as Emily had.

"I'm crying here, Liss. Wolves? Are you serious?" She used her sleeve to rub at her eyes and she continued to laugh at my absurd observation.

I looked down, "Whatever." I hated that I was such a worrisome person. I hated anything dangerous, anything that could possibly cause death, anything that could cause physical pain and damage. No one really knew about this fear. I thought Haley would've picked up on it by now, but the last time I told someone about it they laughed, too.

"We'll all have to face pain and death at some point. It's inevitable."

Ever since that moment, I vowed I'd keep my 'pathetic' and 'unreasonable' fear to myself, since it seemed to be too silly for everyone. Emily and Haley had just proved my theory.

-     -      -     -     -     -

I watched in amazement and disgust as Seth and Sam scooped large spoonfuls of the goop into their mouths. I had thanked Emily, but passed on the bubbling mixture she called 'soup'. I was sure this would be the first and the last time Em tried to experiment. I had settled on a peanut butter sandwich, but it became more and more unappetizing as I watched the two males devour the entire pot of goop for themselves.

"How can you eat like that?" Haley asked incredulously, eying them in disgust.

"Yeah, Sam, breathe a little. It's not walking anywhere."

"We don't know that." I laughed a little at Haley's sarcastic remark.

Seth swallowed and looked at Haley quickly, "Hey, uh, are we still on for tonight?"

I glanced up at Haley, then back to Seth. Sam had the same puzzled look on his face that I surely had on my own, "Tonight? What's tonight?" Sam asked around a spoonful of food.

"Seth's taking me to go cliff diving."

I saw the fear and anger in Sam's eyes, but before he could say a word, Emily cut it. "They're going to the lower cliffs, Sam. I already talked to them."

"Talked to them? You knew about this and didn't tell me?"

I couldn't hear much of the bickering after that. I had my eyes locked on both Seth and Haley. How could Haley get a date before I could.

You're weird.

It was a sad truth, but I was beginning to feel a little empty inside. Suddenly I wasn't so much at home anymore. Not since everything had changed.

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