Living the Dream

Fan Fiction: Justin Bieber.
My life seemed so perfect until, i found out my boyfriend was cheating on me again. On top of it he wouldn't say a word about it till brought it up. We were suppose to be going to a Justin Bieber concert together. That ended up not happening. My whole day was ruined... until i got to meet a special someone.

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33. Darkness

Brienna's POV:

 

Gosh Justin can be such a tease in the morning. After I had gotten out of Justin's car, I had to worm my way through the big crowd of photographers and paparazzi. This is what I was worried about if I ever started dating Justin. I kept trying to push through. They kept asking me these stupid questions. Like how long have you been dating Justin? Are you dating him for his money? Do you even love him? The last question pissed me off. I wanted to tell these people off, but I know Justin wouldn't be happy with that. Besides it just adds to the fire. I kept my head low and kept going. Finally campus supervisors finally came and cleared the paps and photographers from the campus. There not even suppose to be on this private campus anyways. When I finally got far enough I took off all the items I had on to cover myself up with. Justin told me to grab something to eat here, but in all honestly I didn't want to eat anything. I know he will be mad if I don't eat, but I wasn't hungry. 

I walk into my class and take a seat. Of course everyone's eyes are focused on me. Wouldn't be surprised there was a huge ass group of people outside crowding me. I kept my head down and tried to ignore the looks I got. Some girl just looked at me nasty, like I was some gold digging whore or something. I didn't even know her. I don't know what people's problem is. I just want this day to end... I should of just stayed home. I can't even go back to my old home now because of the paps and photographers. Damn... 

Class begins finally, people began to focus back on the professor then me. Although sometimes I hear a little chatter hear and there about me. Whatever.

Brad walks late into class. That's a first for him. Our eyes meet for a faint second. I had totally forgotten he was in this class with me too. Well this should be an interesting. He came and took a seat right next to me. I continued to take notes and try to not worry about the situation. I would see him glance at me every once in a while from the corner of my eye. He didn't talk to me or touch me at all. It made me a little uncomfortable. Only an hour left, I just hope it flies by fast. 

What seemed like eternity, class had finally ended. I pack my items quickly so I can get out of there fast. I really didn't feel like talking to Brad today. I walking out the classroom when someone had grabbed my wrist. I turn around to find Brad with his hand wrapped around my wrist. 

"What!" I said in a tone hoping he get that I don't feel like talking to him. 

"I just needed to apologize about how I acted. I never meant to hurt anyone Brienna..." He said softly. I stood there in silence not knowing what to say back. But then again I'm shocked to hear that Brad had came and apologized even after everything that had gone down. I think he realized I was in deep thought. He began to speak up again. 

"Brienna I just need to ask you something..." He said. 

"Yes?" I said. 

"Did you... did you ever love me?" He asked sounding hurt by the question. It hit me hard. I felt horrible... I lead this guy into a trap. But it wasn't my fault! Justin had showed up out of no where and started to flirt with me again. I couldn't help it... I didn't tell Brad. I don't think I've ever told him I truly loved him. I hurt Brad... The fact knowing that I did this to him made me feel like a horrible person inside and out. I should of broke up with him myself not have Justin do my dirty work. 

"Brienna?" He asked puzzled. 

"I don't know..." I said looking down at the floor. 

"You never did love me did you..." He said softly. 

"No I did at some point! Its just... just..." I said before getting cut off by him. 

"Just what Brienna? This isn't some game... You can't just play with someones heart" He said. Ouch that hurt... like being stabbed multiple times in the heart.

"I know that. It's just Justin showed up out of no where and started flirting with me again. I never meant to hurt you Brad... I'm sorry..." I said quietly as tears began to form at my eyes. 

"Well it's ok now because your dating him now. You can't play games with me anymore... Don't ever plan to talk to me again Brienna. I guess then you mean't nothing to me too. This is goodbye forever." He said before walking away. That sentence he said "You mean't nothing to me too" really got me deep. Where the darkness belong...  He's gone for good now. I felt horrible... The way he made me feel about this whole situation. I feel like I could just die to get out of this mess. I began to sob as tears ran down my face. I tried to run to make sure no one saw me crying or heard me. You probably think it was stupid how I was crying about this, but it goes deeper then that. I went to the bathroom stalls and locked myself in the stall. I began to cry my heart out. Why was I so stupid to fall for Justin's ways? I ruined my other relationship. No one was in the bathroom to hear my sobs. I opened my bag and began to find something sharp in my bag. I looked frantically while tears streamed down my face. I finally came across some scissors I left in my bag. I pulled them out and looked at both of my wrists. I felt the darkness that consumed me like it had done in the past. I pressed the cool metal against my skin. I began to press harder and slide it across my skin. Enough for it to bring blood to the surface of my skin. I sobbed louder in the stall and continued to cut deeper. I did the same for my other wrist. After the marks were there blood began to pour down my wrist. I dropped the scissors on the ground. It's good to see the scars again... the pain, the darkness... This time I don't think there'll be anyway of getting out of this mess this time. I caused a mess. Why do I always fuck up everything? I'm just a fuck up... always have been. I picked up the scissors covered in my blood. I unlock the stall and walk towards the sink. I looked myself in the mirror. No one should deserve to have me... I'm worthless. I rinse the scissors and my wrist off. I put the scissors back into my bag. I wipe the tears off my face and try make myself look normal again... I compose myself and walk out the bathroom with scars and tears to hide... It brings back the bad memories. Like nothing ever happened. No one will know or care... 

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*Back in High school* 

-The nightmare

I was the quiet nerd kid everyone picked on, who had braces. Oh joy... I only had one friend in high school. I didn't really consider them as a friend. They only hung out with me at lunch that was pretty much it. No one cared about me. If I ever died no one would care if I was gone... The popular kids would push me around like I was there punching bag. Just because I was different and smart. They all gave me a nick name. No one knew my real name. The names would range from brace face, train tacks, to BS,  and to shithead. I never told my parents about it. It would only make it worse.  It was a constant nightmare everyday. Things being thrown in my hair to drawings making fun of me. That's why I did good in school because I wanted to get out of this shit hole. People didn't realize what I had done to myself. I would starve myself because I was constantly called fat. My parents thought I ate all my food, but in reality I threw it down the toilet. I would even cut myself repeatedly. There was this one day I will never forget. That still brings pain to me since this day. It was senior year. Life was still horrible but this year I got nominated for senior princess. I didn't think I was going to win, but surprisingly after a couple weeks I had made the top three. I was excited and a little scared about it. Either my life was finally going to change or it would end badly. I wasn't much of a person to dress up and do all the preparing to get ready for that night. Luckily the school helped me with that. I guess the payed for everything, dresses, hair, and even dinner. I had told my parents about it, they were happy for me. At half time that's when they crowned the princess and all that. I was escorted by the captain of the football team. His name was Dave. It was really weird. When we started to walk up to the little stage they made on the football field, all I saw was the football players kneel in the front  two rows. Weird right? I wanted to turn around and go back home. In fact I didn't want to be there at all. We both walked up the stairs. We waited a couple minutes for the other princess to start walking up but no one was coming. It was really odd, I thought. Next thing I know I see Dave let go of my arm run down the steps of the stage. I was to busy paying attention him running when I started to feel a wet substance on me. I start to see the football players throwing raw eggs at me. I stood there shocked by what was happening, being pelted with eggs. I ran down the steps and began to sob. They continued to pelt me with eggs and laugh. I knew this was to good to be true... I ran, and ran. I took off my high heels and kept running all the way to home crying. No one again cared about how I felt... I was worthless... When I got to my house I burst through my door and ran to my kitchen. There was a note saying how my parents left to the movies that night. It's ok, they'll just see there dead daughter lying on the kitchen floor. I started to search through my kitchen cabinets as tears streamed down my face, my body covered in raw eggs. I could barely breath from the crying and running. I opened all the cabinets frantically looking for some pills to swallow that would kill me. My life needed to end... I was a joke to everyone. I finally came across a bottle of Advil. I tried to open it but I was crying so much from the pain. Stupid childproof bottles why are you stopping me from killing myself?! I start to feel someone grab me from behind telling me to calm down and kept asking what's going on. I noticed the voice. It was my older brother Jake. He's in college now and has only one more year left till he's done. Why is he here anyways? He see's how I'm trying to open the bottle of prescription. "STOP" I yelled at him. "Just let me die..." I sobbed. Just let me go... The pills fly across the kitchen floor. "No! Look what you did!" I said crying loudly. I sank to the floor crying louder every second. "Why, why, why..." I say between sobs. I hear him pick up the phone and call 911. I bet people probably are going to think I'm freak for killing myself. I cried louder. I tried to pick up the pills off the floor and swallow them but my brother kept trying to pull me away from the kitchen. I would here him yelling at the operator to hurry up and get here and help me. I didn't want help. I wanted to be gone.   I had passed out before the ambulance had gotten there. I just remember waking up in the hospital with my family sitting next to me. My mom was crying and my dad was rubbing her back. My older brother had his head in his hand. As trying to forget what just happened that night. My parents finally figured out what was going on. They started watching to make sure I ate something, I refused food still. They would try to ground me so I would eat, but I had no where to go... They made me go to a  therapist after that. They took away all the sharp objects from me. That didn't help because I still found a blade. My brother ended up staying longer than he was suppose to. The doctor said I was thankful my brother was there to help me because I would be gone right now. I wanted to be gone honestly... I guess my brother was a surprise for me. I hadn't seen him in a while so my parents invited him to stay with us, but now he's planning on staying with us longer. School just got worse. People would call me the suicidal girl everyday. I would go to bathroom and cry and pull out the blade I had and began to cut my wrists again. No one heard me... I finally graduated from that shit hole with a solid 4.5 GPA. I went to USC  to get away from where I lived in my small town. I didn't want to ever relive the nightmares. I would toss and turn in my bed some nights from all the nightmares. That's when I decided to start actually trying to date because I needed someone next to me to distract me from the darkness that still surrounds me. I have never told anyone about my story. Only my parents and my older brother know, and of course all the people who made fun of me in high school. I've never told my boyfriends. I started off fresh. New clothes, new style, no braces. I was no longer the brace face Brienna. I was Brienna Silversmith now. The new and improved girl that no one knew about or would make fun of anymore... 

But now the darkness returned... the nightmares...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hope you guys like it!! Sorry you had to wait so long! Omg so many readers now! So happy to see that(: I love you guys :* More chapters to come and a new movella coming soon!! 

 

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