Living the Dream

Fan Fiction: Justin Bieber.
My life seemed so perfect until, i found out my boyfriend was cheating on me again. On top of it he wouldn't say a word about it till brought it up. We were suppose to be going to a Justin Bieber concert together. That ended up not happening. My whole day was ruined... until i got to meet a special someone.


38. Begin again

No one's POV:



The memories still haunt her. She can't get away from them, ever. They surround her, just like the darkness. That night was nothing but misery. She couldn't stop thinking about how her whole life was ruined back in high school. Why didn't she just kill herself already... She wouldn't have to worry about the pain she feels deep down inside. Now she flee's from her problems again. Just like she did the first time. Now she must escape before the darkness consumes her for sure. This time it could be fatal and for real....



Brienna's POV:



Last night was horrible. I could barely sleep. The constant tossing and turning, then waking up in the middle of the night. I can't do this... Maybe I need to pick up some sleeping pills again from the pharmacy. They worked in the past for me when I couldn't sleep. Or I could just take all of them and end my misery right now...  I'll I could think of is the pain I felt. I was a broken girl, and needed to be fixed.  One thing that did surround my thoughts was Justin... His cute smile, his laugh, and even how he would get shy from time to time, like me. It made me cry thinking about it. I felt bad because what I did to him. I just don't want my tainted pass to affect Justin and make him feel bad for me all the time. That's just not right to do...

I roll out of bed. I felt miserable. I didn't want to finish college and get my dream job. Even though I dreamed for it ever since of high school. But I worked hard to get here though. And I know my brother and parents would be proud of me if I finished college. That's my only motivation now. To get to my dream job and work hard. To prove to people that I would become the best, and I was no longer that loser in high school everyone picked on. 

I walked to the bathroom and looked myself in the mirror. Man I'm so fucking ugly and fat. Here I go with judging myself again. I need to stop. I need to shower though I smell. The hotel bathrooms are actually not that bad. I start to sing in the shower. Yes I sing the shower, doesn't everyone? One song that's my favorite is "I would" by Justin. "If I could take away the pain and put a smile on your face, Baby I would, Baby I would. If I could make a better way, so you could see a better day, Baby I would, Baby I would." Or "Battle scars" by Lupe Fiasco, it reminds me of the scars on my wrist and the scars from high school. I think I'm just afraid that I might end up reliving parts of high school again. Like me dating Justin. What if he is just playing this whole thing out? Don't say that Brienna... He said he loved me. I just keep filling my head with nonsense. 

I think after college is done I might need to move again... Just like I did the first time. If I live here any longer I will run into Justin and I can't stand to see him all broken because of me, I just don't want to hurt him anymore because of my pain. I want him to forget me, he'll move on and not remember me... I was thinking New York maybe. It's been my dream to go there, and Paris. But I'll probably won't be able to ever go to Paris. New York is a big city to get lost in anyways. I still have a little bit to go before I decide to move or do whatever. 

I need to focus and get ready to go to class soon. I finished getting ready. I didn't feel real hungry for food, like usual. Maybe I'll just eat a little granola bar or something. Don't want to get fat you know... I decided to leave my hair natural today. It takes to long to fix my hair because it's so thick and long. I put on some casual summer clothes for the perfect 78 degree weather. Not to cold but not to hot. I left my hotel room and went to my car. Don't want to be late to class. 

I get to my car and start the car. The engine purr's to life. I turn on the radio, got to have my morning music. After the commercials, one of Justin's songs came on the radio. It was As Long As You Love Me. Another song I love, but couldn't stand to listen right now. It would just make me burst out into tears, and I don't want that right now... I change the station quickly to hear Suit and Tie by Justin Timberlake ft. Jay z. That's a little more like it, then sighed because I knew I was lying to myself again. Get yourself together Brienna, you need to forget Justin...

I pulled up to my school. I just need to make sure Justin isn't here either. I parked where usually no one parks, it required a long walk to the campus, but oh well. I found a spot and got out, then began my way towards school. I tried to take paths that no one walked on, I really didn't feel like talking to anyone today. I did have to walk across a couple crosswalks where there was an intersection. I walked passed one car that looked some what familiar. It looked like it had to be Justin, but I didn't want to look because it could end up really being him. And I don't know if I could talk to him right now... I tried to walk next to more people who were crossing too. I kept my head tilted to make it look like I was looking at something across the street. Luckily I had my sunglasses on, I don't know if that even really helped but I'm hoping so. I just kept walking like it was a normal day for me. When I got past the crosswalk I decided to cut through some paths, so it didn't involve me being seen by people I do know.

I reached the campus it only took me like 5 minutes to walk from here to my car. Not that bad actually. I need to find a vending machine or go to the store here on campus. I was able to find a vending machine, luckily and got a granola bar. I started back up towards my class that was going to start pretty soon. I walk around the corner only to see Justin and his car in the other parking lot not to far from the campus. Shit. I go back behind the corner and stick my head out a little to see what he's doing. He''s just leaning against his car and looking for someone, which is probably me. He looked so sad... I just wanted to go up and hug him right now, but I had to stop myself. How did he know what time I had class at? I was right about when I thought I saw his car. Ughh. Why is he making this so hard for me to just forget him...

I decide to just take another root to my class, it took longer but it just took a little more time to get there. On my little walk I start to think about what Brad said to me yesterday. His words hurt me, but then again I deserved them. I pretty much back stabbed him... Just forget about it. I walk into my class, and decide to take a seat closer to the back. This feels like it will be a long day...



Justin's POV:



After the horrible sleepless night, I decided to get up early. I was miserable, and I hated it. I always think about that memory every day. It haunts me... I don't think I've ever told anyone about what ever happened. It hurt me to much to talk about it, and I just felt like I would be judged for it. We even had to make sure no one else found out like the public or the media. They didn't need to make it worse then it was already. I don't know how many times I always thought about telling someone else. But I always kept my mouth shut and dealt with the nightmares and shit. But ever since I met Brienna all I ever wanted to do is share my life with her. I want to tell her everything, only because I trust her so much. I can never trust anyone else anymore. The Hollywood life isn't always the most truthful life. It always involves having to hide everything, every secret, every little story. The only problem now is I can't tell anyone now... Brienna is gone, probably for good. It breaks me inside to think that. It can't just be over like that. I want to go far with her. She was the center of my universe. I just want to find her... I want my beautiful love back. I thought about going to her school and trying to find her there. Since I have nothing better to do right now. 

I think I'm going to take a shower, to relax a little. I remember the last time I was in here. Me and Brienna were clowning around and I caught her in here. The thought makes me smile. And her cute little laugh. I miss her... I only want her. I also want to know what happen and why those cuts were on her wrist. I can't even contact her in any way. Man life just blows...

I walk back to my room after taking a shower. I pull out some shorts and some graphic t-shirt and some supra's. I gel my hair back, like I usually do. Everyone loves when I do that, even my beliebers. That's when another idea popped in my head. What if I got a little help from my beliebers to find her!? Well I need to go to her school first to see if I can find her there first then I'll do that. Maybe there is some hope to find her again. It's like a treasure hunt. I have to find the prize.

I walk down stairs and grab my car keys. I go outside and start the engine of the car. I pull out and drive to the gate and leave. I start off to USC. Let's hope I can find her in that big school. It didn't take me that long to get there, I did get stopped by a lot of stoplights though. I came across one stoplight that took forever to change. People were walking across the crosswalk like crazy. There was this one girl who I thought looked familiar. I thought immediately it was her, but I couldn't tell because she was walking next to so many people and I couldn't see her face either. She looked like she was looking for someone. Every part of me wanted to get out of the car and run up to see if it was really her or if my mind was playing games on me. But I know people would get so pissed off at me and it would end up on some stupid magazine or the media. When the light did turn green I tried to see if I could see her face but all I could see was the back of her head. I swear it was her. It was to late because she disappeared into some path way. Great... I kept driving to the school to the original spot I would drop and pick Brienna up from. I parked in this spot that was close to the curb, so I can see if I can spot her. I get out of my car and try to scan the crowd of students going to some classes or leaving there classes. I couldn't spot her at all. I wish she would come running out and just give me a hug. So I can feel her warmth on my body again. I missed her scent and everything about her. It saddened me even more. I waited there for a good solid 20 minutes and still nothing. I went back into the car and sat there for another 5 or 10 minutes just waiting to see if I can spot her. But still nothing... I sighed at the devastation. I pulled out my phone and got on twitter. I guess my other idea it is then. 

I would reply to some of the beliebers but right now I just needed to find her. I typed "Brienna Silversmith, help me find her..." then sent it. That should do it. I only had to wait a couple seconds before my phone started to blow up with tweets. I logged on to Instagram. I took a photo of myself frowning and put the same thing I tweeted in the caption. This will either help or ruin everything... Most of the beliebers would ask who is she? Tweet me, Follow me. But that's not what I needed right now. There was so many comments to read from. Some of them would tell me her Twitter or Instagram page but I knew she wouldn't be on them because she left her phone with me. One thing that gave me an idea was Facebook. Most of the time people have family on there who I could contact them to get a hold of her some how. I went to her family on her Facebook page and looked to see who she put. Some of them were her friends. Then I came across 3 people who had the same last name as her. Her mom, dad, and brother. I don't think I knew she had a brother. I went to his page and added him. I then went to the send a message and began to type something up to him. It started off like this "Hi. You probably don't know me or anything but I happen to know your sister. A recent problem came up and I have no possible way to communicate with her. She left her phone with me. I was wondering if you would possibly let me know if you have any idea where she could be. Thanks. Here's my number so you can call me (310) 549-3682." I sent it to him hoping this would work. I put my phone back into my pocket and started the car again. Now let's go get something to eat. Maybe I'll go to that little restaurant that I took Brienna to. But first I need to pick up a couple things from the store before I go there. I'm just going to have to stay low today because I really don't feel like getting crowded by fucking paparazzi today. I wish sometimes that I wasn't this famous and I was just some ordinary kid...

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