Hanging On

Katerine Willows was falling in two ways. She was falling into an unfathomable comatose, destroyed after her fiancé’s death and on a path of self destruction. Until her therapist forcibly sends her to Paris to help her pursue her once great career as a singer. Then she falls another way. A way she never expected to fall again. She fell in love. Will she allow the equally damaged Louis Tomlinson to heal her? Or will she continue down the cold and lonely road she started out on?

Hey! My first real writing, so fingers crossed! I know some of the things in here are cruel or messed up, but I don't mean anything against the people in it! It's purely fiction! Please enjoy and leave feedback! I'll update as often as possible. Xx -Alex

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16. Final Chapter

 

We were quiet during the entire car ride, just reminiscing. I didn’t want to cry in front of him, but it was so hard to hold the tears back. I kept squeezing my eyes shut trying to prevent them from coming out. I felt the sob threatening at the back of my throat as my breaths were labored, hitching in my throat. I tried to focus on the moment we were in instead of what was coming in a few minutes. The airport terminal doors were in sight now as the car slowed, stopping behind a line of parked cars. The driver came around and opened my door. The January sun glared harshly into my eyes, making me turn around. I watched Louis step out with his bags and thank the driver. He looked at me, trying to smile. He was struggling just as much as I was.

    The fans kept screaming at us, but I only saw Louis. I studied him, keeping his face right in this moment in my memory. I smiled and grabbed his hand, my fingers lacing with his. I leaned my head against his shoulder, taking in his presence. These were the things I wanted to remember about him; the way his hand felt in mine, the way his lips felt against mine, the way his arms felt around my waist, the way his ring felt on my finger. For me, just in that time, we were the only two people walking up to the terminal doors, trying to delay the time we had until he left.

    “Louis, over here!” We both turned to see Niall waving at us, a beaming smile on his face. “Our plane leaves in thirty minutes!” I felt the pressure increase slightly on my hand and I returned it. Butterflies started flying around my stomach as the nerves started to set in again.

    Louis went up to the front desk, confirming his ticket and passport. As he did that, I took opportunity to hug the others. When I finally made it to Harry, I hesitated. Next to Louis, I would probably miss him the most.

    “Hey, look up, Katie. You’ll be alright,” he said against my shoulder as I hugged him fiercely. “I promise I’ll look after Louis for you. I won’t let him get too sappy on us.” This made me laugh.

    “Harry what will I do without your comic relief?” I asked him. He just chuckled.

    “Call every day, that’s what you’ll do. You’ll miss me that much,” he winked. I lightly punched his arm and gave him another hug. “But seriously you need to call every day. I’m really going to miss you a lot, Katie,” Harry said quietly, his voice getting low and husky.

    “I’ll miss you too, Harry,” I whispered. I pulled back and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I mean it.” He knew what I meant.

    “If anyone ever tries to lay a hand on you again, you can trust I’ll be there to kick their ass,” he said sincerely. I laughed again and turned around to see Louis walking back to us.

    “Everything checks out,” Louis said, making himself busy with putting his papers away. I walked forward and placed a hand on his arm. “The plane leaves in about twenty minutes, so we should probably head in that direction now.” He grabbed his bag and my hand, walking us in the direction of the gate. When we reached the end of the line for me, we all stopped.

    “Well, this is it,” I whispered. A tear escaped down my cheek.

    “No it’s not. We’ll see each other again, I promise. I won’t lose you, Katie; that’s what the ring says,” Louis answered, taking my left hand and kissing it gently. I let my fingers slide gently in between his and pulled him in for a tight hug. “I will never stop loving you, Kat.”

    I let the tears go as I tried to answer him. “I will always love you, Louis. No matter what happens I will always love you.” I looked up at him to see a tear slide down his face. We laughed a little. “I promised myself I wouldn’t let you see me cry.”
    “Funny, I said the same thing to myself this morning,” Louis chuckled. He leaned down and his lips met mine. It was the most passionate kiss we’d shared. I don’t know how long we stood there like that but I didn’t care. I just wanted Louis. “Kat, I love you.”

    “I love you too, Louis.” I kissed him one last time, not wanting to ever let go. “I love you so much,” I said through a broken sob. I gave him one last hug, inhaling deeply; I didn’t want to ever forget the way he felt, the way he laughed, the way he smelled, the way he spoke.

    “I’ll see you later, Kat.” Louis pulled away slowly, giving me one last quick kiss. “I’ll call you as soon as we land I promise.”

    As I watched him walk away, I couldn’t help but let every emotion I felt overrule my senses. Something came over me and I couldn’t stop myself. “Louis!” I yelled, making him turn around. There must have been something in my eyes that made him come back because the minute he saw me he was running back for me. I followed his lead, leaping into his arms, kissing him again. “I love you,” I whispered.

    “I love you too, Kat,” he whispered back. I smiled and released him, letting him walk away this time. He looked back one more time, giving me a wave with the perfect smile on his face. This time, I knew I wasn’t supposed to go with him.

 

    I shut the hotel door behind me, looking around the room. It was so quiet without him here, so empty. I wiped away the remaining tears and set my coat down on the back of the couch. This was it now; I was on my own. It almost felt good though. I knew this time around that I would be able to build something for myself. I wasn’t weak anymore; Louis had given me the strength I needed to come up from the ashes and build my life back.

    I made my way to the bedroom, something on the bed catching my eye. I walked over to find a sealed envelope with my name on it next to one of Louis’s sweatshirts. It was my favorite one; I had stolen it more than a few times. I opened the envelope, taking in every word he’d written to me.

 

Dear Kat,

    I remember the day I first saw you walking up to the hotel building right before you went off on that poor security guard. I thought you were insane for trying to get by, like some obsessed fan that just couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. But when I heard what you were saying to him, I couldn’t help but agree with you. I don’t think I ever apologized enough for going off on you like I did; so I’m sorry.

    Writing this letter is so hard for me because I don’t exactly have a way with words as you know. I just needed to get across to you how much you mean to me. The way you laugh makes me smile every time I hear it. The way you smile makes me happier no matter what mood I’m in. The way you scrunch your nose up when you’re upset makes me want to kiss you. The way you kiss me makes me never want to stop kissing you. The way you feel in my arms makes me feel complete and I never want to let go of you. The way you’re so sensitive and aware of your feelings makes me feel so lucky to find someone so down to Earth and open. The way you tell me all about you makes me love you even more every minute I spend with you. The way you listen to me when I talk, I swear you concentrate so much your head might explode! You hang on to every word I say like it’s the last thing you’ll hear from me. I promise you that you’ll hear from me every day we’re apart.

    Sitting here packing my bags and writing this, I can’t help but start to cry. I don’t want to leave you at all, but I know now that you’ll be alright. Listening to you open up and be completely honest about how you were feeling made me realize how ready you really were for this and how much you’ve grown since we met.

    When we first started, I was so scared of losing you. You seemed so scared and fragile. I could see how hard you were trying to put on this strong and able front, plastering a smile on your face for the fans and the media, but I could see how much you were struggling. I wanted so badly for you to talk to me, but I knew not to push you until you were absolutely ready to open up again. Getting over someone’s death isn’t easy, I know. I only wish I could have met you sooner so I could take away all the pain you suffered. I wish I could kiss away all the pain from your heart.

    The days following Eleanor’s death, I tried so many times to just be alone. Harry was right there beside me no matter what; he told me that he wasn’t going to lose me too. I think that’s the reason he grew so attached to you so quickly; he wanted to help you too. I can’t thank Harry enough for keeping me from harming myself and I’ll never stop thanking him for keeping you alive as well. I never gave him enough credit, I suppose. He really does care about you and that makes me happy to know that he’ll always be there for you if something were to happen to me.

    I’m not going to say goodbye, Kat. Goodbye means, “Forever not to see.” I most certainly will be seeing and hearing you again very soon, Kat. So I’ll just close with, “I’ll be seeing you.”

    I’ll be seeing you,

Louis

P.S. I will never, ever, ever, stop loving you the way I love you right now.

 

    I put the letter down and let myself cry for a while. “I love you so much, Louis,” I whispered, wishing he could hear me. I wiped my eyes and looked down at my ring finger; more specifically, my engagement ring from Toby. I had never taken it off because I couldn’t stop hanging on. I walked to the bathroom and opened the last drawer, taking out a small, black velvet box covered in dust. I gently removed my promise ring, followed by the engagement ring. I placed it into its box, shutting it. I placed the promise ring in its new proper place. This was me moving on, letting go. This was me falling in love again.

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