Hanging On

Katerine Willows was falling in two ways. She was falling into an unfathomable comatose, destroyed after her fiancé’s death and on a path of self destruction. Until her therapist forcibly sends her to Paris to help her pursue her once great career as a singer. Then she falls another way. A way she never expected to fall again. She fell in love. Will she allow the equally damaged Louis Tomlinson to heal her? Or will she continue down the cold and lonely road she started out on?

Hey! My first real writing, so fingers crossed! I know some of the things in here are cruel or messed up, but I don't mean anything against the people in it! It's purely fiction! Please enjoy and leave feedback! I'll update as often as possible. Xx -Alex

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11. Chapter Ten

 

    “Kat, are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” Louis had his arm around my waist as we made our way through the crowd to the studio; someone had leaked our location. I took another deep breath, ignoring the shouts and screams around me.

    “Either I tell them the truth or these lies keep surfacing. It’s the better way to go, trust me.” I looked over at him and gave him a small smile which he returned. We hadn’t talked about what happened two weeks ago yet; I don’t think we were expecting it to happen. The only TV show who responded to Harry’s constant calls was Dr. Phil. I wasn’t too terribly comfortable with doing this on his show, but I didn’t have much of a choice.

    “Here we are! You’re Katie, right?” I nodded as a woman with a headset approached us. “Please come with me and we’ll get your make-up done. You can wait here while that’s being done.” She directed Louis to stand nearby while I was led to a small vanity. They worked at me for a couple minutes before finishing. “Follow me, please. You go on in 15 minutes.” I did as I was told, looking back at Louis for encouragement. He just smiled and nodded.

    After meeting Dr. Phil we got on with the interview. He opened with a short montage of Toby’s story and then his death, stopping with the interviews involving the witnesses who had submitted statements to the articles I read. I brushed it off knowing most of their words would be put to shame once I opened my mouth.

    “Well, after seeing that, I bet you weren’t too happy.” The audience and I chuckled at this. “Now I know you said that most of what they said was false, so there was a little truth in what they were talking about?”

    “I hate to admit it, but yes, there is some truth in that,” I laughed. “See, I don’t exactly remember much of the calling hours my mom planned, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I was acting that crazy. I was in a dark place and I wasn’t ready in any way to meet anybody. My mom had come up and was telling me I needed to stop moping around and to stop being rude to everyone down there. So running down there and screaming seemed like a pretty good option at the time.” We all laughed.

    “Why don’t you tell us what happened. How you two met and everything after that,” Dr. Phil encouraged. I smiled and settled in for the story. I repeated exactly what I confided to Harry and Louis, not editing anything. I wanted them to feel the raw emotion of it all. I was aware that I had started crying a little through the middle of it but I kept going, getting lost in the memories. After I finished, Dr. Phil even looked close to tears.

    “Have you been taking your medication as of late?”

    “I’ve been trying to shake the habit of using pills and instead using people. I think it’s better to talk about it than to bury it under hundreds of medications.”

    “And you’ve found that person to talk to about it?” I smiled at his question.

    “Yes, I have and he’s amazing. He went through a bit of his own trauma about a year ago and he understands exactly what I’m going through. It’s good to be able to lean on someone like that and relate to them. I can’t thank him enough for putting up with me and my erratic behavior,” I joked.

    “So you and this man are close, I can assume?” I just nodded and Dr. Phil smiled at me. “Do you think you could ever fall in love again like that?”

    “No, I couldn’t ever love someone like that again. My love for Toby is something I can’t explain. I could never give it to someone else.” I glanced over at Louis. “But I know that I could learn to trust again and to open up. I think when I can do that I can learn to love that person. When I find someone who breaks down my walls and makes me feel safe, I know I can love them.”

    For the rest of the interview, we talked about my six month depression, my drug use and how I overcame and coped with it. I told him about Dr. Langston and how the allegations that I had threatened him for the drugs were a lie. I told him about Trent and what had actually happened in the alley, how Harry had found me and saved me. After the interview ended, I shook his hand and thanked him for hearing me out.

    I went up to Louis and he wrapped me in a hug. “I am so incredibly proud of you,” he whispered. I smiled at him and grabbed his hand, walking out of the studio. It was only 2:00 and we had some time to spare. We decided to go out to eat, trying to avoid the crowds. We ate in a nearby park, partially a mistake due to the cold wind.

    “Louis, what is today?” I suddenly asked.

    “It’s December 17. Why?” He looked over at me as we sat down on a bench.

    “I lost track of time, I guess.” I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder.

    “Have you been in contact with Jack recently?”

    “Oh! That reminds me,” I trailed off, reaching into my coat pocket for my phone. “He wanted me to go to the studio tomorrow so we can record some covers. I almost forgot,” I laughed.

    “Do you know what you’re going to sing yet?” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, buffering me from the harsh wind.

    “Not a clue but I’ll figure it out I suppose.” I checked through my messages, hoping for a new one. I had texted my mom the other day telling her about my interview but she never answered. It had me slightly worried. “My mom hasn’t answered me yet.”

    “Did you tell her about the interview?” I nodded, showing him the text I sent her. “Maybe she’s just busy. I’m sure it’s okay, don’t worry too much.”

    “I’ll try. We should head back to the hotel. I think it’s going to snow soon,” I said, frowning at the sky. Louis pulled me up and we walked along. It was around 5 now and the sky was turning dark. We passed a narrow alley and I was reminded of Trent again. I shivered and held onto Louis’s arm tightly. “Maybe we should have caught a cab.”

    “Are you alright?” Louis looked down at me, concerned.

    “Yeah, just cold,” I mumbled. He put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. We walked like this until we reached a busy section of the city. People were packed on the sidewalks, trying to finish Christmas shopping no doubt. Louis grabbed my hand tightly.

    “Hold on and don’t let go, okay?” I nodded and we fought our way through the crowd. It began to thicken as we moved further in; people began to recognize us and started swarming. I felt panic rise up in me. I couldn’t stand crowds; I felt trapped and swallowed. “Kat, just hold on, okay?” Louis called back.

    “Louis, please hurry,” I yelled. He gripped my hand tighter and entwined his fingers with mine, pulling me faster through the growing crowd. Soon, I couldn’t hear anything except the yelling and screaming. It filled my head. “Louis!”

    Suddenly, his grip broke from mine and we were separated quickly. I couldn’t see him, I couldn’t hear him. I lost him in the sea of people as I was shoved around by crazed shoppers. “Louis!” I screamed. My breaths quickened and my heart was pounding in my ears. Why couldn’t I find him?

    I fought my way through the crowd as best as I could until I stumbled out into an alley. I looked down the dark alley, my skin crawling. I needed to find Louis. I needed Louis to save me. I backed into the wall as the evening darkness began to suffocate me. I whimpered, trying to close my eyes and imagine anywhere else. I slid down the wall, bringing my knees up to my face and buried my face. I started to cry, feeling helpless. Was this how it was going to be? Was I going to be the same no matter what? Was I that dependent on Louis to keep me strong and stable?

    I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I scrambled to find it, seeing Louis’s name across the screen. “Louis, what happened?” I asked as soon as I pressed talk.

    “I don’t know, someone started pulling at me and the people broke my grip. Kat, I’m so sorry I tried hollering for you but I couldn’t hear anything. Where are you now?”

    “I don’t know, in an alley. I was shoved into it. Louis, I’m scared.”

    “I know and I’m going to find you I promise. Just stay put and I’ll come to you. Can you see any surrounding stores?”

    I looked out, trying to find a name or something. “No, but there’s a bus stop on the sidewalk in front of me. I’m going to go sit there.”

    “Once you get there don’t move, alright? I think I see it so I’ll be there soon. Everything is going to be fine, I promise.” Louis hung up and I pushed my way to the bench, sitting down firmly. I kept my head down, not wanting to attract attention. I felt someone sit down next to me.

    “What’s your name, pretty girl?” A hand grabbed my knee. I swatted it away and moved further down the bench. “Come on, let’s go have some fun,” he goaded.

    “Don’t touch me,” I growled. He just laughed and grabbed my arm.

    “I like when they fight,” he whispered. I wrenched my arm free and stood up. “Now, don’t be like that, babe.”

    “Don’t call me that!” I screamed. I looked around. Where was Louis at? The man made an advance. “Don’t come near me.”

    “I like you; you have some spirit in you.” He pushed me against the pole of the bench cover, his alcoholic breath overcoming my senses. “Now quit fighting me.”

    “Get off of me! Help me!” I screamed. This drew the attention of several shoppers who now stopped to investigate.

    “Excuse me, what’s going on?” A police officer approached. I took this opportunity.

    “He’s harassing me!” I broke free and stumbled away from him. The officer led the man off in cuffs.

    “I’ll see you around, honey,” he breathed with a disgusting smile, causing me to shiver. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing I was still alone.

    “Sweetie, do you need to go somewhere?” People started asking me if I was okay, if I needed a cab or a phone to call someone.

    “I need Louis,” I kept mumbling. Why wasn’t he here yet? Why didn’t he save me?

    “Kat! There you are!” Louis came running up to me. “I got lost looking for the bus stop.”

    I turned to him angrily and slapped him across the face. “Where the hell were you when I needed your help?” I yelled. He had a shocked expression on his face. “You promised me everything was going to be fine when it wasn’t! He was hurting me and you weren’t there to save me! I needed you!” I shoved him away and began walking off through the crowd.

    “Katie, wait!” Louis was chasing after me. I walked faster, seeing the hotel up ahead. I broke out into a run, leaving Louis behind me. I pushed through the hotel doors and got into the elevator. When I got to my floor, I saw Harry standing in front of my door knocking. He looked over to me with a smile until he saw my face.

    “Katie, what happened?” I walked passed him and unlocked my door, slamming it behind me. “Katie, what’s going on? Where’s Louis?” I ignored him and walked into my bathroom. I hadn’t touched the pill bottle in two weeks. Now I couldn’t wait to get it open.

    “Katie, open the door now!” Louis had finally caught up and was pounding on my door next to Harry. “Katie, answer me now!”

    “Go away Louis!” I yelled. I had them in my hand, ready to swallow.

    “Put the pills down, Katie, you don’t need them. I’m better for you than they are!”

    “I don’t want you if you’re not going to be there!”

    “Katie, don’t do this! Please, don’t do this. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you like I promised. But I’m here now and I’m trying to save you from making a huge mistake.”

    “You should have thought about that sooner,” I whispered, swallowing them. My vision started to tunnel and my body started shaking. I collapsed on the floor, the bottle’s contents spilling around me as I slipped out of consciousness.

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