Hanging On

Katerine Willows was falling in two ways. She was falling into an unfathomable comatose, destroyed after her fiancé’s death and on a path of self destruction. Until her therapist forcibly sends her to Paris to help her pursue her once great career as a singer. Then she falls another way. A way she never expected to fall again. She fell in love. Will she allow the equally damaged Louis Tomlinson to heal her? Or will she continue down the cold and lonely road she started out on?

Hey! My first real writing, so fingers crossed! I know some of the things in here are cruel or messed up, but I don't mean anything against the people in it! It's purely fiction! Please enjoy and leave feedback! I'll update as often as possible. Xx -Alex


15. Chapter Fourteen


    We stayed the night together for the last time. I was awake all night, going over every detail of every time we had spent together. I had fallen so hard and so fast it was hard to believe I had kept up. It reminded me of falling for Toby in a way.


14 Months Ago

    “Katie, let’s get a move on! Maybe we can catch a glimpse of Toby before he leaves!” Kendra kept pulling at my arm, pin-balling me from person to person. I had hardly any time to apologize to any of them as we sped along, finally reaching the exit gate. There he was coming out of the tunnel. His messy black hair falling in waves around his face, the slim but build body that was hugged just right by his fitting jeans and tight maroon t-shirt. And his eyes…oh, what those eyes could do to a woman. His brilliantly blue eyes that sent shockwaves down your spine and a thrill through your heart. I was completely mesmerized by him; I was under his spell from the first moment our eyes met. For a brief second, I thought he was walking over to me, a playful smile on his lips. But it was the girl behind me who ruined our moment. She shoved into the back of me with a squeal, sending me crashing through the gate and into his path. I felt two arms wrap around me as my knees gave out.

    “I have to say, I’m more desired than I had expected.” His voice melted me down to my core. I felt his chest rumble when he spoke, low enough so his words were only audible to us.

    “What can I say? I’m a huge fan,” I whispered. This made him smile; he liked when girls played with him. “Thanks for catching me, Superman.”

    “Anytime, babe.” He twirled me and I stood next to him, dangerously close. His smell was intoxicating and deadly, his lips almost beckoning me forward. “Why don’t you join me? We’re hitting a couple clubs.”

    My thoughts briefly hit back to Kendra, but I brushed it away as quickly as it had come. “Why not? I don’t have anything better to do.” I wanted to play hard to get. To him, it was fun; the chase was his kind of seduction. I walked slightly ahead of him, soaking in the limelight. So this is what it felt like to be famous. I could get used to this.

    We made it to a dimly lit club, the music and bass threatening to shake the building down. I purposely avoided him all night, only allowing him quick glances before I moved again. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was my desire to frustrate him; I’ll never really know. All I knew was that I wanted him to tear me apart inside and out.

    “I don’t know where the hell you think you’re going,” Toby said as his arms found their way around my waist, making me gasp. “But you’re coming with me now.” He had snuck up behind me, catching me off guard. Oh, he made this chase so much fun.

    “What makes you think I’ll actually come?” I taunted. He spun me around and pushed me against the wall, coming dangerously close.

    “No one ever says no,” he whispered, biting my ear. I felt the shivers go through my body at the touch. He knew how to get what he wanted and I wasn’t in any mood to decline.

    “It’s been a while since someone has treated me like this. You better not disappoint,” I warned, wagging my finger in front of him. He took my hand, pulling me close enough for our lips to touch briefly.

     “I’ve never been known to hold back.”


Five Months Later

    “Kat, open your eyes.” I did, expecting his usual antics. Instead, there was a neatly wrapped gift in front of me. It was too neatly wrapped. I looked at him skeptically, trying to see his motives. Toby just shrugged and smiled, pointing to the small box in my hand.

    We’d been together for five months; five amazing but painful months. Our relationship was toxic and I knew everyone felt it; we were all over the news and in every tabloid on the news stand. Our childish drinking antics had finally gone too far and we decided to lay low for a while, spending some time in Rio for Christmas. It was the ultimate lovers’ paradise.

    “Toby, what is this? If it’s another guitar pick I’m seriously going to be pissed at you,” I warned.

    “Just open the box! You’ll love it I promise,” Toby answered with sincerity and hint of nervousness in his voice. I carefully opened it to find a small, black velvet box. “Oh…Toby this isn’t…” I looked up at him, his eyes excited.

    “Kat, you make me the happiest man ever when I’m around you. We make amazing music together, both in the studio and in the bedroom,” he winked. “You are the light in this dark world of mine and I’m so glad I found you. Will you please stay with me forever? Will you give me the incredible honor of loving me and allowing me to be your husband?”

    “Yes, Toby yes I will!” I felt the tears fall down my face. “I love you so much, Toby.” I was so happy; Toby and I were engaged! He easily slipped the ring onto my finger and kissed me passionately. This was our time now; we weren’t about to waste any of it with more words.


Two Months Later

    “Kat, open the damn door now!” I kept myself pressed against it, trying to keep it shut as I fumbled with the lock. I didn’t want to see him; he made me sick. Suddenly I was shoved into the living room, tumbling down. Toby came in, fury in his eyes. He lifted me up by my wrists, making me yelp out in pain.

    “Toby, you’re hurting me!” I tried to get him to see this, but he was so angry, blinded by his own fury.

    “You think I’m not hurt? You fucking cheated, you slut! I can’t believe you’d do that to me! You think I’m just going to let it go by? We’re getting married tomorrow, Katie. Fuck I don’t think I’ll show up now!”

    “I didn’t cheat on you! Maybe if your head wasn’t so far up your ass you’d actually be able to hear me!”

    I should have seen it coming, what with how mad he already was. All I felt was my head whip violently to the right, a sharp, stinging pain against my cheek. I felt the pressure release from my wrist as I stumbled away from him. I looked up through my watering eyes to see his face plastered in horror.

    “Kat, I’m so sorry,” he began as he walked towards me. I whimpered and shrunk away from him.

    “Stay the hell away from me,” I whispered. “Get out of my house before I call the police.”

    His eyes grew dark again. “So you think the police are going to come and save you? I don’t fucking think so. Get over here now!” I turned and ran, going for the kitchen. I reached for the knife by the sink, spinning around just in time to face him with it.

    “Get away from me, Toby. I’m not spending another second with you in my house.”

    His muscles relaxed as he registered what was happening. His eyes changed from dark to light again; he was coming back. “Kat…please don’t leave,” he started pleading. “I don’t know what came over me. Please, you have to listen to me. I don’t know what happened to me I was just so angry. If you say you didn’t cheat then you didn’t cheat. Just please don’t make me leave. I love you, Kat.”

    I slowly lowered the knife but he didn’t move towards me anymore. “You hurt me, Toby.”

    Pain flashed in his eyes. “I know baby I’m so sorry I hurt you. Please forgive me. I promise you it will never happen again.”

    “You promise?”

    His eyes lit up for a second. “I’ll buy you a promise ring; that will show how much this promise means to us. I will never lay a hand on you again for as long as I live. I’m so sorry I hurt you Kat. I’m so sorry,” he kept saying as I walked towards him.

    “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it,” I whispered, trying to comfort him. We stayed in each other’s arms for a few minutes before he pulled away.

    “I’m going to go get the rings right now. Tomorrow will be the best day of our lives, I promise you that. Tomorrow I’ll be the happiest man in the world because I’ll have the most amazing woman I’ve ever met by my side forever.” He kissed me gently before holding my face close to his. “I love you so much and that is something that will never change.”

    “I love you too, Toby,” I whispered. “Let me come with you; we can do this together.”

    “No, I want to do this myself. It’s going to be the perfect gift from me to you. It will show how much I truly care about you. Please, just stay here for me okay?” Toby kissed me again and I nodded, smiling. He grabbed his keys and walked out the door. He looked back at me for a brief second, the perfect smile on his face. If only I had gone with him.


    It was an hour later and I was sitting on the sofa, listening to the news. The roads were bad, they said, and I was getting worried. Why hadn’t Toby called yet? As if on cue, my phone buzzed a text. I looked at the screen to see his name. I smiled and opened the text, reading it.

>I know I screwed up, but I promise to love you forever.

    I felt myself start to cry. I loved him so much it hurt me. I could never stay mad at him; and this just proved how much he loved me and was willing to work on what we had. I tried to call him back, but it went straight to voicemail.

    “Odd,” I mumbled, trying again. I waited another hour before I decided to try and call him again. A knock came on the door.

    A wash of relief came over me. “Toby, you don’t need to knock, just walk in,” I laughed. The knock came again. I frowned, opening the door.

    “Ms. Willows my name is Officer Brown. If you don’t mind, I need to talk to you.” I nodded, trying to figure out what this meant.

    “Please, come in and sit down,” I heard myself say faintly. We sat on the couch, his face so grave.

    “Ms. Willows-“

    “Please, call me Katie,” I smiled. I looked down at my phone only to find no messages still. “What is this about?”

    He was quiet for a moment. “Katie, it’s about Toby.” My heart stopped. “He was driving back here…the roads were slick from all the rain and he lost control. There was a semi coming,” he trailed off.

    “What happened?” I managed to choke out. He couldn’t mean it.

    “I’m so sorry we did everything we could to try and get him back.”

    “No, you’re lying.” I stood up, backing away from him. “You’re lying to me! We’re supposed to get married tomorrow! He isn’t dead!” I was screaming. Officer Brown tried to calm me down.

    “Katie, please I’m so sorry.”

    “Sorry won’t bring Toby back to me!” I collapse on the ground with a choking sob, losing control of my body. This couldn’t be happening…it wasn’t happening. I couldn’t lose Toby.


Present Day

    I opened my eyes, feeling the tears running down my face as the last memory came to me. I still missed him so much, but the scar was slowly healing. I sat up in the bed, wiping my face. Louis was sound asleep now, his hand in mine. I smiled down at him, feeling better again; I was safe with Louis. He was my Superman now.

    Slipping gently out of the sheets, I made my way to the bathroom. It was six in the morning now. Louis had to leave at seven to catch his plane. I swallowed down the lump that was forming in my throat, trying to control the tears. I brushed my teeth and splashed cold water over my face, waking myself up more. I got in the shower, letting the warm water run over me. My tears soon mixed with the water as sobs rocked through me. These were my final few hours with him and I was alone in the shower crying. I laughed at this, realizing how ridiculous I probably looked. I finished and stepped out, towel drying my hair in the process. After finishing in the bathroom I stepped into the room, noting that Louis had woken up. I didn’t want to dress up for him; it would be too much. I decided on a casual pair of skinny jeans and a long sleeve blue shirt. I walked out into the kitchen, watching Louis gaze out the window, a distant look in his eyes.

    “Louis?” He looked over at me, his face immediately lighting up. “It’s a quarter till seven; you should probably get ready.”

    “I’m already packed, love. I was waiting on you so we could spend a few minutes together before things got too hectic.”

    I smiled. “You’re so sweet to me, Louis. I can’t believe how lucky I am.”

    Louis walked over to me, wrapping me in his arms. “No, I’m the lucky one, Kat.” He kissed me gently before pulling me to the window with him. “You should have seen the sunrise this morning; it was wonderful.”

    I smirked. “Since when do guys watch sunsets, Louis?” I felt him shrug and kiss the top of my head.

    A knock came on the door. “Louis, Katie, are you ready to go?” Harry was calling from the door. I took a deep breath and squeezed Louis’s arm. This was it.

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