Hanging On

Katerine Willows was falling in two ways. She was falling into an unfathomable comatose, destroyed after her fiancé’s death and on a path of self destruction. Until her therapist forcibly sends her to Paris to help her pursue her once great career as a singer. Then she falls another way. A way she never expected to fall again. She fell in love. Will she allow the equally damaged Louis Tomlinson to heal her? Or will she continue down the cold and lonely road she started out on?

Hey! My first real writing, so fingers crossed! I know some of the things in here are cruel or messed up, but I don't mean anything against the people in it! It's purely fiction! Please enjoy and leave feedback! I'll update as often as possible. Xx -Alex

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12. Chapter Eleven

 

    Louis's P.O.V. "Katie! Open the door now!" I kept pounding. She had to answer the door. I couldn't understand why she ran off so suddenly. I tried to find her again. I didn't even know what happened. All I knew was that she hated me and I couldn't stand it. I felt awful for what happened. I couldn't change it though; I could only get her to open up to me again.
    "Louis something's wrong. I don't hear her." I looked over at Harry. He was giving me a worried look. "You don't think she's..."
    "No she promised that she wouldn't. She promised to talk to me." Harry looked skeptical. "I watched her flush them down the toilet!"
    "How many medications?" Harry watched as I counted it over three times. I stopped. Surely I didn't miscount?
    "Harry...I don't know..." I felt the panic building.
    "I'll go get help!" Harry ran off down the hall.
    "There's no time for that!" I yelled. I backed up bracing my shoulder. I rammed against the door, succeeding in hurting my shoulder. I backed up again and repeated the action, then a third time and a fourth. I wasn't letting up. Finally I felt the door splinter. I started kicking it as hard as possible landing blow after blow. I backed up a final time and this time I was flung into the room. I ran quickly to the bedroom.
    "Kat! Answer me! Kat!" I felt my stomach drop as I saw the half open bathroom door. I walked forward only to feel a crunch beneath my shoe. I lifted my foot up to find broken red chunks. A pill. I pushed the door open.
    Pills scattered the tile floor. Blood was pooling around her and the empty bottle in her hands. "Katie!" I screamed her name and fell on my knees in front of her. I touched her gingerly, not wanting to hurt her. I froze up, not knowing what to do. I took her limp body into my arms, sobbing into her. I rocked back and forth, praying she would wake up.
    "Please wake up, Katie. Please wake up." No response. "Katie, I need you to wake up. Now, Katie wake up!" My voice was rising. "Katie dammit I need you!" I looked at her unmoving face. She looked so peaceful. "Katie, I need you." I felt her finger twitch against my hand. I picked her up swiftly and ran out of the bathroom, kissing her forehead. "Stay with me please!"
    Harry was nowhere to be found. I didn't have time to wait on him. I ran down the hall, slamming the elevator button with my shoe. When the doors opened I was face to face with Harry and Zayn. He must have considered Zayn to be proper help.
    "Oh God, Katie," Harry whispered. "Is she breathing?"
    "Barely. I need to get her to the hospital now." I pushed past them and hit the down button.
    "Louis we can call an ambulance that might be safer," Zayn started.
    "I don't have time! She's dying," I answered, a sob going through me. The doors closed before they could answer back.
    I ran through the lobby. The nearest hospital was a 15 minute drive from here. I began to run. I felt my feet pounding, my lungs were burning. I didn't stop, I couldn't stop. I needed to save her. I needed her to stay with me. I felt myself running into people and heard their curses but I kept going. I ran in front of cars and barged through the crowds. The second I saw the hospital lights I sprinted harder. Before I even walked through the doors two nurses were there to meet me.
    "You must be Louis. I'm Ella; we got a call about 40 minutes ago to be expecting you. What's the situation?" Harry and Zayn...
    "Her head is gashed, she's not awake and she's...overdosed." I felt sick as the word rolled over my tongue.
    "Do you know what drug?" We set her on the stretcher.
    "The pills were red..." The nurses checked her signs.
    "Lithium over dosage. I'm sorry but you need to stay out here. We'll take care of her." They began to roll away.
    "Katie! Wait please," I begged.
    "I'm sorry we can't." Ella wheeled her down the hall and through the doors.
    "Katie, I love you."

    I don't remember how long I sat in the hall chair. Everything had happened so fast and now time couldn't be moving any slower. I was vaguely aware of Harry and the boys coming in and sitting down with me, Harry rubbing my shoulder. I couldn't move, I couldn't think. I was scared that Katie would never come back. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands, leaning my elbows onto my knees.
    "Louis, wake up." My eyes opened and I sat up, inhaling sharply. "It's eight in the morning. You should go back and sleep. We'll stay here." I looked up to see Harry standing over me, concern in his eyes.
    "I'm not leaving until I see Katie," I mumbled. "I need to make sure she's okay."
    "Lou, you're exhausted," Niall argued. Zayn nodded his head in agreement. I looked over to Liam.
    "Maybe you'll feel better if you had your head clear. Go sleep and I promise I'll call the minute we know something."
    I stood up. "Do you think Katie feels better right now? She just overdosed because I wasn't there for her and now all I can do is sit in a waiting room praying I haven't lost her forever. I'm completely helpless and I've broken my promise to her. I looked away for one second and then she was gone. If she doesn't come back, I honestly don't think I can go on. I need her with me and I would do anything to keep her by my side. I can't go on if she doesn't. I want her to be happy and be able to live the life she's always dreamed of having. What if I took that away? What if I ended that for her? What am I supposed to do? I need to see her and know by my own eyes that she's going to be alright. Otherwise I'm no better than the dad who walked out on her."
    "Excuse me, Mr. Tomlinson?" I looked over to see Ella standing there uncomfortably. "Can I talk to you privately for a moment please?"
    I nodded and followed her, glancing back at the boys who were now sitting. I followed Ella into a hallway and we stopped. Her emotions seemed mixed. "How is she?" I asked, afraid to hear the answer.
    "The head trauma she received made minimal damage, luckily. She received six stitches but nothing appears to be permanent. Her overdose was a close call and you are extremely lucky you got to her when she did. Her blood toxicity levels showed she was 20 times over the prescribed dosage."
    "What does that mean?" I could hardly speak.
    "It means she would have had to take a whole bottle and more to gain those kinds of results." I felt my stomach flip, a sick feeling in my stomach. She wanted to die.
    "Unfortunately, she's not yet woken up, so any memory loss that could have occurred due to the overdose or head wound is still possible."
    I stood there for a moment, processing her words. "Are there any other injuries on her?"
    Ella checked her chart. "Actually, I found a few scars on her wrists when I was finishing up. They look to be about...three months old so this was before arriving in Paris, correct?" I nodded weakly.
    "I think that's around the time she was prescribed with all the medications."
    Ella nodded. "That makes sense. One of the side effects in several medications she was on include depression or thoughts of suicide. I'm surprised her therapist didn't monitor her."
    "That's because he's a prick," I muttered. "Is it possible for me to see her?"
    "Technically no one is allowed in before visitation, but I think I can sneak you in," Ella smiled. She beckoned for me to follow. We walked down the hall further until we reached another small lobby area. The ICU sounded like the gates to Hell itself. It sent a shiver down my spine. We made our way down another hall until we stopped in front of Room 102.
    "If anything changes, press the nurse's button and I'll be right in." Ella walked off. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
    "Kat?"

Katie's P.O.V.
    It felt like I was underwater. My body was pounding and my head felt like it was exploding. I felt like puking but I couldn't move. I felt a sudden pressure on my shoulders and legs. As I was tugged, a wave of sharp pain flew through my body. I wanted so badly to scream but I didn't have the strength.
    "Katie I need you!" I could hear his voice faintly, as though from a distance. Louis had found me. I tried moving my hand to let him know I was there and that I needed help, but all I could manage was a slight flick of my finger. I was out again.
    When I came back again, a light was being shown in my eyes. "Katie, can you hear me?" I moved my fingers again. "Katie my name is Ella, you're in the hospital are you awake?"
    "We don't have time for that. We need to get her stitches and get her an IV. This is a serious overdose."
    "It's Lithium by the looks of it. Her spine could have been injured as well. We need to get her a full body scan to check for any broken or fractured bones.” I felt Ella take my hand. “Don’t worry, you’ll be alright.” I prayed she was wrong. I tried to relax as I felt them stitch up the gash on my head and place me in the CT scanner, but the pain was excruciating. I wanted more than anything to scream but I knew if I woke up I’d have to face everyone. I wasn’t ready to do that just yet, especially after what caused the incident. This just proved how unstable I still was; any small thing could set me off. I was a danger to myself and everyone around me. I could never say that to Louis or anyone for that matter.

    I hardly remember what happened after the scans. They had finally given me a mild pain killer and an IV to take the Lithium out and I was floating in and out of consciousness. I didn’t try to stay awake. The longer I could stay out, the longer I could wait before facing everyone. This was my way of shutting down; all I wanted to do was sleep. I was tired of trying to stay above water, to keep myself from drowning. I was ready to embrace sleeping and it was waiting for me with outstretched arms.

 

    I woke up again to the sound of the door opening. “Kat?” No, it couldn’t be him. I thought I wasn’t allowed to have visitors until I woke up? What happened to that? I couldn’t face him, not now. I didn’t want to see him ever again

    “Katie, please wake up. I’m so sorry for what happened; I’m so sorry.” He gently grabbed my hand as he sat next to my bed. I wanted so badly to pull my hand back and yell at him to leave but I couldn’t even open my eyes. “I promise you I’ll see you every day until you wake up. I won’t ever leave your side again.” Shut up, Louis you’ll leave just like the rest of them. They all say the same things but in the end it never amounted to anything. I was sick of it.

    “Excuse me, sir? Who told you that you could come in here?” I recognized the voice as the other nurse beside Ella that had helped me.

    “I’m sorry; Ella said I could come see her.”

    “Ella’s an intern; I’m full time. Are you going to take her word over mine?” Wow, she was rude. “I think you should leave.”

    “Oh of course. I’m sorry for intruding.” I felt him hesitate before getting up, squeezing my hand and kissing me gently on my forehead before he went. Go away, Louis. I’m not any good for you.

    I heard the nurse come over and check my vitals. “You can open your eyes now; he’s gone.” I did so slowly, painfully. The lights were off and only a dim lamp was on. “I figured you wouldn’t want any lights on.”

    “Thank you,” I barely managed to whisper. My voice sounded so hoarse. “What’s your name?”

    She looked at me. Her eyes were a steely grey and her hair was pulled back into a brown bun. “Jenny.”

    “Jenny, can you make me fall asleep?” Her eyes narrowed. “I just want to sleep,” I pleaded. “Can you make me sleep for a while?”

    She hesitated, considering this. “I don’t think that’s exactly legal,” she began.

    “I won’t deny allowing you to if it becomes an issue.”

    “I’m sorry I’m not legally obligated to do that, especially under the circumstances of you being administered to the hospital.” I felt despair go through me. I couldn’t pretend to be out whenever he came! Jenny gave me a sympathetic look. “Alright, your vitals look better. I’m just going to leave this right here in case you start to feel uncomfortable or in pain.” Her voice seemed to be suggestive. I looked up at her questioningly. Jenny just nodded and smiled. “Goodnight, Ms. Willows.” She walked out the door, leaving me to realize what she had just done for me.

    “Thank you.”

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