You're Just A DayDream Away (Harry Styles FanFic)


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8. Strange Tales, Strange Man


WARNING ! Slightly mature content , self-harm

The car ride was quiet , none of us saying anything much , although I would’ve wanted to feel his raspy voice making me shiver , to get my eyes off the road for a second and look at his lips moving, even if I knew I wouldn’t hear a thing , my mind only trying to study the movement of his sweet lips.
When we arrived at the studio , we walked past some fans . I smiled at them politely and walked inside as Harry remained outside to take some pictures with them . I always appreciated how loving they were with the fans , never getting upset when the girls were screaming or even asking silly questions .
The boys were surprised to see me in the studio , being one of the few times I came with them , as I explained what happened .
It was fun to watch them and indeed ,it was a different atmosphere from when they were around the girls . I could’ve honestly said they were acting like monkeys .
Louis decided to put some music and I found myself dragged by Harry in some weird dancing on the C’mon C’mon song . As if it wasn’t enough , Niall asked for Harry’s phone to film us. I decided to have some fun and let myself move to the crazy rhythm . That was the weirdest dance anyone could’ve invented . Both me and Harry randomly moving our hands , spinning around and occasionally bumping into each other from all the spinning. I could hear laughs coming from the room , although I couldn’t recognize who was it , possibly from all the dizziness . And in that moment I felt like I was a kid all over again , music up , world off , as if it was only me and him .
After a while , I went to my initial place on the sofa , lounging as I grabbed my head with my both hands , feeling it was going to explode. I pulled my phone from my pocket and started playing some game which I had no idea of its existence . From time to time , I would listen to what the boys said , but mostly they made sexual jokes . It made me wonder if they were doing this to distract me or if that’s what boys actually talk about. Hearing enough of them I just turned my attention back to my game . My concentration was interrupted by Louis giggling while trying to ask me something .
“ Marie … Are you a virgin ? “ He asked me , trying to contain his laughter .
My eyes widened as I heard the bold question , my face turning red .
“ Did you seriously just ask me that ? “ I questioned , hoping I didn’t hear well.
“ Yes . We are just curious ? Nothing more “ he continued giggling .
I wanted to end this discussion faster , so I simply answered
“ No , you dumbass . I’m not “ I replied angrily .
I wasn’t proud of it , but I had to shut their mouths somehow . Remembering my past wasn’t an easy thing to do .
After my dad left , I changed my perspective over the life , I changed my friends , picking the wrong people to create memories with , changing myself . It was in my “wild times” , at the age of 17 when I met the only boyfriend I had , Brad . Although I met him through the people I used to hang out with , he seemed different . He was sweet , polite , making me think that I actually got lucky .
His calming look , with brown eyes would meet mine , fingers reaching for my chin , pulling it up so he could brush his nose against mine before our lips would finally meet .
What I liked about him is that he gave me time , he waited for me to be ready , but when I finally gave myself to him , it was nothing I ever expected .
I wanted to feel his lips covering every inch of my body , to whisper beautiful things in my year , to make me moan his name in satisfaction , pin my hands above my head giggling as a playful smile would appear on his face , but instead , lustful thoughts had taken over the caring ones , the sweet kisses had become harsh and meaningless . All I could see in his eyes was carnal desire .
Painful memories of how he pushed me on the bed were invading my mind, remembering once again the pain : mental and physical . I never got to experience any pleasure from this . Only pain . Why ? Because he never thought of me . He didn’t care he was hurting me and it didn’t matter as long as he was satisfied . After this whole mistake , because this is the only word describing it, I realised he never even planned on making me feel good, like I thought he will send me to heaven and bring me back next to his warm body, he just saw his interest . As he was slamming into me and I was desperately grabbing the sheets underneath me , trying to find something to distract me, all I heard was :
“ You’re so tight . It fucking worth the whole wait “ . I was disgusted by his comment , I was in pain and I was broken .
I never made love to anybody , it was just sex . It took me a while to realise I didn’t even love him , all I was looking for was understanding . But the price I paid was too big .
I tried to repair my mistake and break up with him . Catching my arm , he used his whole strength to squeeze it , his eyes which seemed so mean for the first time , filled with anger , looking into my scared ones . That was when I realised he was dangerous , he was nowhere near the person I thought he would be .
His words , the evil eyes , the people around . I gave myself to the knife , thinking maybe it will know how to take my pain away . It was the easiest way to get rid of pain . But definitely not the good one .
For months my mum and I were scared , never walking alone on the streets , trying to protect ourselves by installing alarm systems , all because I knew he was still following me .
Then one day I met Christine . She gave me the strength to fight my fears , she taught me how to let new people into my life and how to move on .
I have learned that nobody is worthy enough to make you cut your skin , to deserve all the blood that stained healthy , beautiful skin.
The opportunity to move to London came like a bonus , making me think that maybe it’s meant to start a new life. So I moved from Canterbury to London .
I jumped a little as I saw a pair of fingers moving in front of my eyes.
“ Harry . Stop it . You’re going to stick your fingers into my eyes “ , I playfully slapped his hand .
It seemed it has been a while since I was daydreaming , again , and the boys wanted to go to Starbucks to have a break .
.
.
It was one of those crowded days at Starbucks , and the boys could barely find a more retreated space with two separate tables where to sit . I sat at the same table as Niall and Zayn , next to us sitting Harry , Louis and Liam . I placed my jacket on the back of my chair as I stood there alone, taking care of their belongings as the lads went to place their orders . After a few minutes they came with all sort of mixtures , from coffee to delicious smoothies , and I got up and went to order my favorite drink , Caramel Frappuccino .
The barista handed over my delicious drink , and gave me a sweet smile. As I turned around to thank her , I saw with the corner of my eye a pair of brown eyes watching me . It all happened in a fraction of a second , but in my head , I already had the crisp and clear image of the guy watching me .
.

Author’s note : If you’ve ever thought about self-harming , or if you’ve tried it , please , before scarring your skin again ,Think that no one will judge you, think that someone is worried for you , someone thinks you’re beautiful just the way you are and he would be devastated to hear you are doing this to yourself . I will ALWAYS be here to listen to your problems , to give you advice . I’ve been through this and I know it’s not easy , but there are other options too . I want YOU to know that for me , YOU are perfect .
3 notes 21 Monday 2013 Reblog post
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