Little Things

You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you, You'll never treat yourself right, darling but I want you to, if I let you know I'm here for you, Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you....


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1. Prologue

Niall’s POV

I walked down the arena corridors. We were scheduled to perform in three days. “Nialler!” Liam yelled. I felt his hand on my shoulder. “We’re going to eat lunch,” he said, “Do you want to come?” “No,” I said, “I’m not hungry.” “Oh,” was all he said as I kept walking. I might have surprised him. I’m the type of person who was hungry most of the time, but I wasn’t hungry right now. I didn't want to eat now, not now.

Ava’s POV

I walked down the school hallways. It wasn’t a good day today. I was being made fun of again. Reason? One Direction was performing in three days. I was happy though. Summer would be starting in four days. I would finally leave this place. High school is filled with judgmental people. They made fun of me because I was a fan of Justin Bieber and One Direction. I was a Belieber and Directioner. My life? Well, I have a sister and a brother. My brother has gone off to college. He’s gone off to Canada. Too far away from my life. My sister is two years younger than me. She’s sixteen. Both of us have been through a lot. Both of us are made fun of each day. Both of us try to escape a hell.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” my sister, Marianne, said. “We have to go,” I said as we walked out of the school. “But,” she said, “I don’t want to see that man.” My eyes stung at the memories of that man. I wanted to tear up at everything he’s done. I don’t dare call that man my father because he isn’t. He’s our stepfather. My real father left us. He left when I was seven. This man has taken his place. My mother, she passed away of cancer exactly one month after by brother left to college. As soon as my mother passed away two years ago, a hell started for both of us. That man has abused of us. He’s hit us each time. He hurts us for any little thing. We hurt us too. I hurt myself.

That man is also judgmental. He is one of the reasons I hurt myself. It started two years ago. I was sixteen. I was happy with myself. I used to weigh 165lbs. I was fine with who I was. I’m still 5’6. Freshman year was fine and so was the beginning of sophomore. Then my father started calling me fat. He started making me feel lower than everybody. One day he got mad because I told him I was happy with whom I was. That’s when we found out who the real Jack Madden was. The day he kicked me in my stomach. That day he cut my arm with a razor. That day he didn't feed me food. That day was the first day I lived a hell. When I walked to school people would stay away from me. My friends? They left me alone. It’s funny how I just found out who true friends were. After that day, I felt insecure about me. I hated not being able to fit into pretty clothes. I hated the way I was. I hated looking at myself in the mirror and feeling ugly. I hated my life. After a while of feeling bad, I decided to take actions. Every time I was hungry or I wanted to eat something unhealthy, I would get a razor and cut myself. I would throw up whatever I ate. That was two years ago. Now, I weigh 123lbs. Now I'm not strong anymore. I’m weak. That man tries to touch my sister, but I won’t let him. I would get in the way. He would get furious and he’d slap and kick me. He’d cut me and he’d throw me against the wall. I’m scared of that man. He changed my life in a horrible way. He’s the reason I don’t have any friends. The reason I'm afraid of the dark. The reason I don’t want to sleep alone. The reason I fear men. The reason I try to kill myself. The reason I'm not me anymore. The reason people make fun of me. The reason people are scared to talk to me. The reason I haven’t had a boyfriend. The reason I fear life. The reason I suffer day and night. The reason I live in a hell.

“I’m hungry,” Marianne said. I grabbed my wallet from my backpack. Ten dollars. “What do you want to eat?” I asked. “McDonalds,” she replied. We walked into McDonalds. She ordered a Big Mac and I ordered a salad. I drank from her water. The money I have is money I get from his wallet. He’s drunk most of the times, so I take dollar by dollar. I have some money saved. Money I got from selling my jewelry and some of my clothes. I'm using that money later on. Not now, but later. I have my mom’s jewelry with me. I saved it in one of my drawers. “We should get going,” I said. “I don’t want to,” she replied. “Anne,” I sighed using her nickname. “We have to.” She hesitated then nodded. She slowly got up. I followed her and we left. We slowly walked down the slow street. Both scared and fearful. Everybody ignored us. We were used to it. Some nice ladies said ‘hi’. We both knew that their ‘hi’s’ meant something else. It was as if they were saying ‘Run! Run!’ We couldn’t. We’ve tried, but we’ve failed.

We were in front of our house now. The house was once full of light and happiness. Now it’s dull and full of sadness. That man’s truck was parked outside. The truck that helped him find us when we’d be running away. His sidekick. We slowly opened the creaking door. We heard footsteps. “Get behind me,” I whispered to my fearful sister. “Where the hell were you!” he yelled. I didn't speak. “Are you DEAF! I asked you a question! Answer me!” He spat. “I was getting something to eat with the money you gave me,” I answered. “It’s fucking late! You could’ve just made yourself something to eat in this fucking house!” he yelled as he got closer. “I didn’t want this damn junk,” I yelled. Something I shouldn’t have done. He doesn’t like it when you yell at him. He raised his hand and I waited for it. He slapped me. Hard. My cheek cried of pain. It stung. “Never yell at me again!!” he yelled as he grabbed my arm. I knew where we were going. “No!” my sister cried form behind. “Don’t hurt her!” she cried. He wouldn’t listen and we went upstairs.

Niall’s POV

It was getting late. I had to go back with the boys. I couldn’t stop thinking of it. It hurt me. It hurt me so much. Too much. I had to expect it though. As a member of the biggest boy band in the world, I had to get it. I had to get hate.   

 

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