Feel Again

Her life wasn't typical. She wasn't "living the dream." She didn't get what she deserved, and someone finally realized that. They helped, but she still wasn't healed. I only have one piece of advice. Watch out for what you do, because the past will haunt you.

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1. Just a little longer

This story is about a 17 year old girl, who just needed to get away. But it was so hard. She was too scared. And, well, she had reasons she couldn't.. This girls name was Winter. And no, I know what you're thinking, this girl is not me. She was a very close friend, and I miss her every day I don't see her.
It was dark in the old raggedy bedroom, even though it was mid-day. Winter sat in the corner of her room, crying and clutching her arm. Her mirror was broken to shards and her fist was bleeding. Yes, she punched the mirror. Why? Because of all the self loathing she put herself through. There wasn't a single day that went by that she said something terrible about herself. But she shouldn't. She was a true beauty. A gift of the gods. Every girl I've ever met, including myself, have been jealous of her looks. She was an average sized girl about 5'6. Thin. With long, straight, brunette hair. Her eyes were grey, and her lips were a very pale pink. She never needed makeup, but she always wore it. I never knew why until recently.
As she dropped her arm to the ground, stained with blood and tears, she picked up a fair sized piece of glass, and cut a deep slit in her left wrist. It wasn't right, she knew it wasnt, she needed to be here. She needed to be here for her sister. For even though, her sister, Symphony was older..she was more naive and fragile. Symphony was always under her sisters watch a s if she were her guardian angel. Winter pulled the glass away. She felt relief from the cruel world he lived in. Even if only for a bit. She pulled out a needle and fishing thread and stitched it back together the best she could, and went looking for precious Symphony. She was lying on the floor of the bathroom.
"S-symphony!?" Winter screamed in fear and malice. "Symmy! Please wake up. Please tell me you're just joking around with me right?! Symmy!" Winter cried into her older sister's lifeless chest. Yes, Symphony, or Symmy-as Winter called her- was dead. She needed air, she was suffocating in all of her own sadness. Drowning in her own tears. But she couldn't just leave her sister. So she held on, she held onto her sister so tightly that for a second Winter forgot she was gone. She looked into her dear sister's blank eyes, and cradled her like a baby in her arms. She stayed like that for an hour. Just crying. When she finally got up to leave, no one was still home. So she grabbed a jacket and headed outside, not even bothering to cover up her bruises and gashes anymore. She walked to the only place she could. To the train station.
When she got there, there were all of 2 people. One she thought she recognized, but she doesn't recall his name or really even his face. She doesn't know where she would have seen him. The other was a girl. Now THAT girl, that's me. But we didn't know each other then. We didn't meet officially until months later, but I'll get to that part when it comes. Winter sat down on the bench farthest from me, as she didn't want to be close to people right now. This station was usually empty. Especially at 1:34am. But I guess we all had certain reasons to be here. Hers, was to just breathe. The boy had noticed her by then, and went to sit directly next to her. Not saying a word. She didn't move away, just shifted uncomfortably.
"Are you okay?" He ask calmly, staring at nothingness.
"Uh, me?" She asked uncertain.
"Yes, you. Are you okay?"
"Rmm, yeah. Fine. Why do you ask?" He paused at this.
"You're at a train station at 1 in the morning."
"Yeah, but so are y-" he cut her off.
"I have a ticket." She had how just given up her argument and sat in silence again.
"Sorry. I'm just asking." He whispered to her.
"Ok." And with that she got up to leave, but he was stubborn, and grabbed her arm. Unluckily for her, on a bruise the size of a softball. She hissed in pain.
"Listen, I don't know who you are, and I don't care how much you pay me. I'm not a prostitute, let go. Now." She spat angrily at him. His eyes widened in shock at her accusation. He wasn't going to ask her that. And he sure as hell wasn't prepared for that. And how did she not know who he was?


~



When Winter got home, she felt horrible. That guy probably wasn't trying to buy sex from her. But she didn't know any better. She had multiple situations when that was the case. And she never turned them down. How could she? She would be beaten for turning down money. She had been this way only a few years. Since she was about 15.
I mean her mother had always been abusive, but it escalated a lot around then. That was when her mother had gotten her first boy toy in several years. Not a shocker that he was a drug dealer, and went after Symphony both sexually and emotionally. Winter had tried to stop him on several occasions, but he was too strong. He would always threaten to do it to her too. Luckily he never did. Though every day that it crosses her mind she wishes it would have been herself, instead of Symphony. Winter had to over hear it nearly every night. She heard the deathly pleads and cries of her sister begging him to stop. And she too would cry, knowing that she could do nothing to prevent this.
As Winter walked in the door she was met with a firm smack in the face from her mother.
"Where the BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!" This woman shouted at her. It was quite obvious that she was drunk. But then again, she was an alcoholic, so when wasn't she drunk?
"I'm sorry mummy I just went for a walk.." Winter murmured just loud enough for her mother to hear.
"Oh you went for a walk did yeh'? Where'd yeh' go? You go to the police officer station? You went to go tell on us, have yeh'?"
"No, mum, I just went down to look at the trains. I would never say anything to them mummy."
"Sure yeh' didn't, you little bitch! I bet you they didn't believe you, aye? They didn't believe a single word you said to them! Wanna know why? Because you're a fucking child!" These words for some reason stung. Maybe because she had always believed them. If she told anyone they would think her as a liar. At least that's what had been crammed into her brain throughout the past 17 years of her life. At least she only had a little bit longer. She only had a couple months until she was rid of the wretched people. The people that had gotten her sister addicted to amphetamines. The people that had beat her senseless for years on end. The people that sold her out to strangers just to get a couple extra bucks. She was about to be a legal adult, she could leave when she turned 18. She would be rid of all her problems. And oh how she was looking forward to it. Too bad that Symmy never got that far, she was packing and preparing to leave that week, but it wasn't destined to happen.
Winter had finally gotten tired of crying and hiding, she was going to stand up to these people. It took her long enough but she's finally gathered the courage.
"YOU KNOW WHAT MUM!?" She started off loud to get her attention. "I think you need to stop calling me a fucking child because I'm leaving in a few months anyways! I'm not you're fucking puppet that you can make do whatever you please, and then beat when I fight against it! I have been taking this shit from both of you for at least 15 years, and it's not okay! So if you would plea-" she was cut off by her mother's man knocking her out.
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