broken

Hi, I'm Valerie. I'm only 16 but it seems like i lived a thousand years. Since my best friend found out my secret, she treats me differently, my parents think I'm some kind of a devil, people at school laugh at me for no apparent reason, don't worry I'm used to that. Wanna know my secret? well here it goes..

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7. Suicidal note 2.

I'm so broken. It has become so obvious. I'm emotionally destroyed and there's nothing to do except watch me fall apart. Every day it gets worse, nothing ever gets better. I'm so alone in this world that it's starting to really get to me. I always have to remind myself that it's my fault I'm ugly and fat. There's no one to blame but myself. It's so hard because no one knows the real me. They know me as bubbly, outgoing happy girl but that's not even close to what I am. That's just an act. That's just a lie. People always tell me to "get over it" but how could I get over something so cruel? I will NEVER get over all of the bullying and words said to me.  I will never forget the pain that I was in. I will never forget the night when I was in so much deep pain that I had to grab a razor and slide it across my wrist so I could get the pain I deserved. I'll never forget the night I shoved my fingers down my throat to make me thin. I won't forget the day when I decided that only a bowl of oatmeal was the right amount to eat a day. I won't forget the nights I cried myself to sleep with no one to tell me it was all going to be okay. I won't forget the 30+ cuts on my arms that I did because I was so sad. This sadness has consumed me. And it's too late to save me from it. 

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