Between Crown and Heart

Galaxy Charmé gets nearly kidnapped by death eaters but luckily she's saved by Albus Dumbledore who has been searching for her for the past few years as the death eaters did.But why?Galaxy is told that she will end a cruel war,but how if she has never heard anything about true magic?How if she neither has faith in magic,nor in herself?Strange things happen to her and she falls in love with her Professor Severus Snape who will never belong to her as long as she won't confess her love to him.
Time passes then and she learns what important role she plays in this war and moreover how she has to fulfill it:She has to betray everyone she is fond with.She has to leave them alone when they need her most.And her love's fate is already sealed before her own fate was.
How will she experience her new destiny and how the loss of her life?In the end she will need a shoulder to cry on after her sacrifices but no one will be there for her.Thus be you there for her and give her a shoulder to cry on.

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61. Sunflower


"I hope your reason for calling me is pivotal. I have very important matters to pursue. But you should know that, as a former Auror." Mr. Crouch said to a man who's back was turned to me.
Both were in the Forbidden Forrest including me.
I didn't know what I was doing there nor what these two men were doing there.
I just watched them from two meters distance and they didn't seem to realize that I was watching them!
The other man giggled evilly. "For sure, ... father." He said.
"...father...?" Asked Mr. Crouch very irritated and I was too.
Suddenly the other man shouted: "Avadra Kedavra!" and a green eerie light appeared out of nowhere.
Mr. Crouch fell backwards and hit the ground with a dull sound.
I gasped.
What happened to Mr. Crouch?
The other man watched him for a while and then he turned around to leave.
Only then I was able to see his face. He was a lean man with dark golden brown short hair. His eyes looked very creepy, very wide and rigid and without any emotions. He looked though crazy and insane! A wide grin appeared on his mouth.Then he licked his lips like a snake, thirstily and satisfied.
But wait. That made me think. I knew that gesture from somewhere!
Moody!
That man appeared every time in my visions when I run into Moody!
The stranger walked up to me and ... walked pass me.
It seemed that he didn't notice me.
That made me more confused.
How ever, I decided walk up to Mr. Crouch, to see in which state he was.
His bowler was near his outstretched body.
I bent down and tried to pick it up but I couldn't. It was as if my hand hadn't any consistency. It just wiped through the hat.
Then I moved closer towards Mr. Crouch.
I looked at him. He didn't move nor he breathed.
His lifeless eyes just stared back at me.
He was dead.
I screamed.

***
"Wake up! Wake up!" Someone shook me very hard.
I still screamed and opened my eyes.
Despite the fact that my eyes were blurred by tears, I recognized Snape. That made me stop screaming.
I was lying in a bed and he grabbed me by my upper arms.
I blinked the tears away.
"Mr. Crouch... his bowler... on the ground... k-killed... licking man... dead..." I said incoherently.
"Girl, wake up!" Snape said again.
I looked at him and understood that he didn't get what I meant. He thought I was still dreaming
I pushed him away roughly and jumped out of bed. Surprisingly I was in the hospital wing and wearing accordingly clothes of a patient.
"Stop!" Snape screamed but I didn't. I run to that double winged wooden door to go and safe Mr. Crouch... on my bare feet.
But before I was able to open the door, it opened itself and I ran into the headmaster.
"P-Professor! Mr. Crouch... safe him!" I said barely and more tears rolled down my cheeks.
"What do you mean, Ms. Charmé?" He asked attentive.
"He'll get killed... rescue him..." I said.
He looked at me very serious and thoughtful.
"He's in a perfect and safe state, Ms. Charmé. I think Madame Pomfrey needs to give you a tranquilizer."
"No! I saw him dying!" I wailed like a little child.
I fell on my knees and sobbed in my hands.
"Why doesn't anybody understand?! He's in great danger!"
"Professor! Professor! Professor Dumbledore!" Professor McGonagal's old and high pitched voice echoed from the stairs.
The headmaster turned around and I looked up as she entered the room very exhausted.
"Mr. Crouch... went missing."
The headmaster looked surprised at me.
I started crying out loud.
"I couldn't safe him." I said.
"I couldn't safe him!"
All the tears wetted the floor on which I was straddled.
Suddenly someone touched me from my back and heaved me up.
"No!" I fought against that force but in the end I was in my bed again.
Snape stood beside my bed and tried to calm me down.
Madame Pomfrey appeared too but Snape waved her away.
Dumbledore was already gone with McGonagall
"I-I failed." I said to Snape.
Then I started crying again.
Suddenly I did the same thing again which I did on the ball. I leaned forward and cried into Snape's chest. He didn't know how to handle that situation though he just let me cry on his chest a second time.
Soon I was very weakened and tired and I didn't realize that I dozed off on Snape's chest.

*******************************************************

It was already 11pm and I was on my way to Snape's store room. He wasn't in his office and I wanted to ... talk to him but more over, I wanted to see him. That's why I sneaked out of the hospital wing.
I had consequently scary dreams after the vision of Mr. Crouch's death. I was in a room of an old house and that licking man was kneeling down in front of an armchair. A creepy man with one finger missing was appearing too! And a dangerous snake was slithering past my left foot into the room.
I hoped seeing Snape would calm me down, if not then I would ask him for a potion.
"Galaxy?"
"Harry?"
"What are you doing here?" We both asked together.
"It's a sign Severus, you know what it means, as well as I."
The door of Snape's store room flew open and interrupted us.
Karkaroff was showing his bare underarm to Snape. On that arm was an image but I couldn't see exactly what kind of image.
Karkaroff and Snape were looking at us and realized we were watching them but both looked longer at me than at Harry.
My breath started to go quicker, panic rose inside of me as I remembered what Karkaroff did to me.
I backed away a little and Karkaroff just left after pulling down his sleeve.
My fear made me to vomit but I controlled myself.
Harry looked at me for a second and was quite worried. I looked at him too and understood he wanted to talk to me, to ask why I acted that strange, that nervous around Karkaroff.
I didn't told them about Karkaroff. In fact, I told nobody, of course!
Harry was about to leave but Snape stopped him.
"Potter! What's your hurry?" Harry stopped and knew that Snape would accuse him for something he didn't do or just take the chance to make him feel bad.
"Congratulations, your performance in the black lake was inspiring. Gilliweed, am I correct?"
I felt that Snape tried very hard to not look at me as he mentioned the lake.
"Yes, sir." Harry said surprised and very skeptical.
Suddenly Snape turned around, re-entered his store room and climbed up the leader in there.
"Ingenious. A rather rare herb gilliweed, not something found in your every day garden. Nor is this, know what it is?"
We both half entered his store. Snape was back down again and hold a little vial in front of us. We had no idea.
"Bubble juice sir?" Harry said sarcastically.
"Veritaserum. Three drops of this and you-know-who himself will spill his darkest secrets. The use of this on a student is regrettably forbidden, however should you ever steal from my personal stores again, my hand might just slip over your morning pumpkin juice." He turned the vial a little additionally.
I suppressed a laugh.
Harry stole nothing, I was sure of that, and giving him a truth serum would be a great waste therefore.
Snape looked at me finally and rose a brow. I smiled broadly while Harry defend himself:
"I haven't stolen anything."
"Don't lie to me. Gilliweed might be innocuous, but boomslang skin? Lacewing flies? You and your friends are brewing polyjuice potion and believe me I'm going to find out why." Snape said quite angry.
But before Harry could retort to that, Snape threw me inside the store room, against the ladder, and slammed the door shut in Harry's face.
I was surprised and paralyzed by his sudden action.
The only reasonable thing I could do was looking around in his store room.
There were various bottles of preserved plants, animals and other creatures and different body parts of them. Then there were little beautiful vials, some empty and some filled with liquid of all colors.
As I admired the vials my eyes stopped on a particular one, a vial of white, transparent glass with a clear, water-like liquid.
"What's that?" I asked and took it.
Snape grabbed it right away out of my hand and placed it back.
"A potion from my store room." I looked at him annoyed.
"What contains that potion from your store room?" I asked stupidly precise.
"It's a potion from advanced potion making." He said only and glared at me. I sighed annoyed.
I took the vial again and opened it to take a sip.
He took my hand and stopped me from drinking.
"There are poisonous potions and potions that injure you and give you great pain in my store room." He said seriously and anxious.
"But there are healing potions in here too." I said calmly.
He still hold my hand and kept me from drinking it.
"A few poisonous potions will kill you or injure your body system that much that you won't be able to be healed again." He said more honest.
I looked at him warmly and said honestly:
"You won't let that happen to me."
He looked at me and I believed that I saw something flick in his eyes.
"I trust you." I added.
Then I tried drinking that potion again.
I only looked into his eyes and lost me while I pushed the vial against my lips but Snape stopped me again. This time he took the vial out of my hand, closed it and put it back.
I looked a little disappointed.
"Felix Felicis, liquid luck. It gives luck for a period of time and makes everything successful during this interval."
I looked up.
"It wasn't a poisonous potion though." I said offended.
"You are already lucky. Some aren't that fortunate as you might be."
I looked at him empathic. He was right. I was most fortunate and gifted by god. He wasn't.
"Yes, I am lucky to have you around me."
He looked at me fathomless and again I believed there was something flicking in his eyes.
"Why did you leave the hospital wing without any permission." He looked down at my white clothes and tried to be harsh again.
"I... I needed a walk." I said imprecisely.
Snape approached me and leaned half over the ladder. I pressed my back against it as a reflex.
He supported himself on the rung of the hight of my belly button and he bent over me that much that his hair was tickling my cheeks and his warm breath touched my skin.
"Don't lie to me." He said quietly and very warm. It was more like a begging and the complete opposite of how he said it to Harry.
Snape touched my heart by that and I couldn't do something else than telling the truth.
"I wanted to see you." I whispered.
"I was scared."
I didn't know what he was thinking, he was unreadable, but what I knew was that the gap between us got smaller and smaller. I felt his robes on me and his unsteady breath on my lips.
My breathing started to speed up and my heart drummed against my chest.
Our noses were nearly touching and he was nearly lying on me.
Slowly, I opened my mouth to taste his fragrance and experience more of him.
He looked down at my lips and swallowed thirstily.
It was getting exciting and hot and I felt lightly dizzy.
I took hold of the rung under Snape's rung and brushed his arms therefore.
I shivered and gasped thrilled. He noticed that and ... tore apart suddenly.
He turned his back to me and made little noises of panting.
I pushed me from the ladder confused and disappointed.
My head was filled with endorphins and kept me from reasonable thinking.
Tears of disappointment and frustration pushed inside my eyes but I kept them back.
"This was wrong." My subconscious said to me.
"Yeah, it was wrong!" I admitted heartbroken.
Suddenly I opened the door of the store room and ran out.

*******************

After two days I was dismissed from the hospital wing.
That encounter with Snape left me very depressed and confused.
The sudden mood change of him, his sudden turning away from and keeping his distance from me since then...
Why was this feeling that we shared back in his store room so wrong and bad but on the other hand that satisfying and wonderful?
"It's just a school girl crush, Galaxy." I murmured in front of me.
"The owls!" Ron shouted and brought me out of my thoughts.
I looked around sleepily and saw that an owl landed in front of Harry.
They were all waiting for the post excitedly since yesterday.
I didn't know why therefore I leant over to hear what they were saying.
"Sirius wants to meet us at Hogsmeade. He says that he wants to meet Galaxy and we should bring food."
I looked down at my breakfast suddenly and realized that I didn't touch my food nor was I hungry.
"For Sirius." I thought and reserved it for Sirius.
"He still wants to see me." I said unenthusiastically.
"He's really cool." Said Harry and tried to convince me.
"He's amazing! So spooky and dangerous!" Well, that's how Ron tried to convince me. Hermione wanted to reprove Ron but I said quickly:
"Yeah, he seems to be cool but I don't understand why he wants to meet me." I said confused.
"We better find out then." Harry said and smiled.
I looked at him and smiled a little later too.
"But what if he's caught there?" Ron asked then.
"It's too dangerous." Hermione admitted.
"I think he's old enough to decide what's right and wrong and what's dangerous or not." I said annoyed.
They looked at me as if I committed a sin.
"Honestly, do you believe he's eager to go back to the dementors?" They all swallowed in fear.
"And do you all think that he's that stupid to be caught after his superlatively and historic break-out from Azkaban?" Now they looked at each other. From their faces I read that I got a point.
"We are worried, Galaxy!" Hermione whispered agitated.
I sighed and stood up.
"Then you better not waste your time with worrying about stupid and mostly unrealistic things." I said and walked out the great hall.
I felt sorry and guilty. Why was I angry on them and on Mr. Black? They did nothing. Snape did just everything!
I sighed and walked upstairs.
"I need to distract me by work." I thought.
In the empty dorm room I locked the door and took out those secret books which my guardian gave me and memorized new offensive spells.
I was done with the defensive ones. It was a very hard task to learn more than 5000 spells by heart and honestly I forgot more than the half of them!
Well, now I was at number 273 of 7288 offensive spells.
Yeah, work distracts me. I sighed.

*****************

It was the Hogsmeade weekend and finally, after deciding on a horrid sock for Dobby, we marched out the inner Hogsmeade to a more deserted, spooky and silent area of Hogsmeade.
In our back were all the stores and the Three Broomsticks and in front of us was a beautiful green landscape with a little hill.
"You're sure he wants to meet us here?" I asked skeptically and leant against the fence.
"100%." Harry said.
Then we waited while the unpleasant weather with nearly no sun, only clouds and a rough cold wind ranted and raved around us.
Suddenly a squeak of a dog made us alert and we all turned around.
"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed excited.
A very huge black dog was waggling with his tail and his mouth opened in joy.
"Sirius?" I asked shocked.
"Is your god uncle a dog?!" I asked in disbelieve.
The three started laughing and said nothing. It seemed that the dog enjoyed that moment too because he was stretching his front paws and tucked his head under them.
After everyone laughed out I said: "No seriously, he's a dog!" They started laughing again only the dog didn't. Instead he bit me in my sleeve and made me to follow him.
"He's not a nice dog! He bit me!" I said a little scared but the three followed us and giggled.
The dog made us climb that little hill and to be true, that hill wasn't little anymore! It seemed to us like a mountain!
As we climbed our way up I was in deep thoughts how a dog can be made a god uncle of a human, how he can write a letter, meet his god uncle in his school dorm and how he could send a necklace from his ancestors and how on earth can a dog have ancestors which wore jewelry?!
It was very tough and dangerous to climb that hill and we all were out of powers after we arrived at a fissure and entered a little cave.
The dog was too quick and swift and arrived in there already a few moments ago.
A little scream escaped my mouth.
There was a dangerous looking man in front of us. In ragged clothes, long dirty hair, unshaved face and tidy eyes which were standing out.
Nevertheless, his smile was very charming. It almost made his other strange appearance disappear.
Behind that man was a huge horse with plumage and a head of an eagle. He even got claws!
That creature was the most stunning I'd ever seen. It was beautiful.
"She fell in love with buckbeak!" The man said teasingly and stroked that creature on it's head.
"What?"
"Buckbeak. His name is buckbeak. He's a Hippogriff. And you have to bow down to get closer to him because Hippogriffs are very vain and arrogant." Harry explained to me after he entered the cave with the others.
"Like this." He, Ron and Hermione bowed down, looking at the ground. I imitated them.
Then Hermione approached that Hippogriff.
"Come!" Hermione said. I followed her and touched Buckbeaks head.
As I touched him he stood up, screeched and bowed down in front of me.
I backed away scared and didn't know what happened.
"My guardian, why is he bowing down?" I asked her in my mind at once.
"You're the lady. He felt that and every being in this world is subordinated by you." She explained shortly.
"Hippogriffs never bow down in front of anyone." Hermione said stunned.
They all looked at me.
The Hippogriff still remained in that position and I felt that he got uncomfortable.
I approached it again and rose him up.
He screeched shocked as I touched him and made him stand again but after I backed away he laid down on the ground again.
"Interesting." That man said then and approached me.
"Who are you?" I asked and backed away.
"Galaxy, that's Sirius!" Harry said.
"But he was that dog!"
"He's an animagus. He can turn into a dog." Hermione explained.
I looked back at that man in front of me. He was smiling again.
"I-I am sorry, Mr. Bl-" He laughed suddenly. And his laugh was more charming than his smile. I looked sheepishly away.
"No one in the past 20 years called me Mr. Black." He said between giggles.
"I just wanted to be polite." I whispered shyly. That made the others laugh too. I couldn't suppress my laugher anymore and had to join them laughing.
After every one calmed down Sirius said to me with that dashing smile: "Just call me Sirius." I gulped nervously.
"Ga-Galaxy." I managed to say.
"You've got a cute nickname by Remus." He said teasingly and turned around.
"Can you pass me some food. I'm starving." He took some chicken from Harry and sat down on the cave ground.
"Nickname?" I said after thinking confused about why Remus would give me a nickname.
"Mmhm." Sirius said.
"By Remus?"
"Yep." He said only.
I blinked in disbelieve. Was he teasing me for real?!
"Well, what's that nickname?"
He stopped chewing on his chicken and smiled slyly. Then he went back at chewing on his chicken!
I grimaced frustrated.
"Fine! I will ask Remus then!"
"He won't tell you." Sirius said happily with his mouth full of food.
"Why won't he?" I asked as if this was impossible.
"He will be embarrassed."
"And you told us about it?" Hermione asked shocked.
Sirius just smiled and showed us his teeth.
"That bad?" I asked carefully.
"Cute... and very bad." Sirius said and laughed. He made me feel bad.
"Hopefully, he won't call me guinea pig or worst puppy!" I thought.
"By the way, good you brought some food." He changed the topic.
"Just ate rats the time I arrived." He was now eating bread.
"You know it's dangerous." Hermione said.
"Please, don't start again!" I said annoyed.
"Galaxy, what if he gets caught! Then Harry won't have a god uncle anymore!" Ron said aghast. I rose an eyebrow.
He was too emotional about this.
"He's not a child! He broke out of Azakaban. The most high secured prison in the world! That shows that he can take care of himself! Moreover, what if he's brought back to Azkaban-"
"Don't say that!" Hermione said.
"Brought back to Azkaban we can't do anything!" I went on and ignored Hermione.
"In the end, it's his fault because he embarked on getting to Hogsmeade although you might think it's your fault Harry." Harry looked crestfallen down on the ground.
"Ouch! That hurt." Sirius said.
"Now you know what you're playing at." I sat down and took a little piece of bread too. Somehow I felt hungry again.
"You're very straight." He added.
"Should we get to the point then?" I asked sarcastic.
"Oh, a little Snape in you!" He retort and threw me off the track.
I felt sad again and wasn't hungry anymore. Therefore I threw the bread to Buckbeak. He tasted it a little but left the remains on the floor. He was obviously a carnivore.
"Well, Crouch is still missing." Harry said. Somehow I felt that he knew that something was wrong with me after mentioning Snape's name.
"In the newspaper it's said that he's ill and Bertha Jorkins is still missing." Sirius pushed the paper to us.
Harry read it.
"He even sacked poor Winky, his house-elf!" Hermione said suddenly.
"What? Why?" Sirius asked and they three told him everything about the Quidditch Worldcup in detail and went on on speculating about what might be the reason for all that strange things.
I however was lost in my world. I thought about the ball when I cried in Snape's chest, I thought about how he grabbed me after existing the boat at the second task and how he rescued me from drowning in the lake.
But the thought that lingered the longest in my head was that one in his store room.
Was he longing for closeness like me? Longing for comfort, emotions ... for love?

"Galaxy!" Sirius called me. I looked around and noticed that the others weren't there.
"Where are they?" I asked a little panically.
"I said to them to wait down at the hill side." He smiled cheery.
I felt stupid because I didn't notice that they left.
"You seem... uneasy." I just looked at him.
I really didn't want to have a psychological talk or something.
"Listen. I don't want to be your dad or something," He made a pause to watch me closely.
At the word 'dad' my heart hurt and I felt more down then.
"I just want to be your friend and as a friend I want you to be very careful. There's something happening and I believe it will be the worst thing ever. Please be careful." I suppressed my annoyance and looked away.
He was treating me like a little child!
"Remus ordered that." I looked up at him and all my range dropped suddenly.
"Remus? H-How is he?" I said. I felt a strange feeling inside me and I didn't know where it came from.
"Good. He's spending quiet a lot time with Tonks." A sudden jealousy rose in side me and I didn't know why.
"Oh." I said only.
Suddenly I remembered that I brought some desserts with me for him.
"Here. I totally forgot. Some desserts!" I passed him a separate bag and he took it eagerly.
"I was sure that I smelled some vanilla custard in your bag!" He laughed and made me laugh too.
"I think I better go then. Say hi to Remus and..."
"... Tonks?" I nodded. I didn't want to say her name therefore Sirius continued my sentence for me.
"You know what?"
I looked up and shook my head.
"Remus is right. You are a sunflower." I blinked at his smiling face.
"My nickname?" I asked him barely.
He smiled more broad.
"Come I will escort you all to that fence where we met."
Then he turned into that big black dog again and stepped out of the cave.
I was stunned. Not by Sirius and him turning into a dog, no!
I was stunned about my nickname.
"Sunflower." I whispered and felt the letters kissing my lips.

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