The Trash Bin of Cliches

This is a series of shorts about the life of established author, Willow Parker.

Whilst living in London with her best friend Kennedy, Willow gets writer's block. Something she deals with by getting, what was supposed to be a temp job, at The Agency: a company that is invested in a bunch of media industry fields. While helping out with a photo shoot Willow meets one of the world's most coveted bachelors, Sawyer Huntington, one of the boys from the internationally popular group Once Upon.

Thanks to one of her new model friends, Yvonne, Sawyer gets his hooks into her and she wakes up after a night of partying with someone else's boxers on. After that it's one thing after another, starting again when Once Upon books their new music video shoot with The Agency. When she is mistaken for an extra and Sawyer picks her to play the opposing role in his scene, sparks fly, now all Willow has to do is try not to catch fire.


10. The Kitchen Counter Dynamic: 29th April 2012


Kennedy was cleaning the kitchen, she was all gloved up, had everything set as it should be for a thorough cleaning of her favourite place in the apartment. Yet it wasn’t enough, it definitely wasn’t enough, for what she found behind the trash can in the cupboard under the sink. Muffling a shriek she promptly sprung up, narrowly missing the edge of the counter with her forehead, and ripped open a drawer.  

Willow was in her room reading a book on the bed, when Kennedy opened her door without knocking, a sure sign she was pissed.   

“Anything you want to tell me?” Willow looked up mildly annoyed and completely confused.  

“Not especially. Nothing I can think of, no,” she replied, her eyes already finding their way back to the line they were on before Kennedy interrupted.  

“Really? Are you sure? Nothing about the kitchen?” The way Kennedy said kitchen made Willow snap completely out of her book; say Kennedy loved ice cream, then her dentist told her she couldn’t have it for a month, so in preparation the day before the month ends she buys a bin of her favourite flavour, only to come home the next day to find out Willow has eaten the entire pint.  


“Shit does not even begin to describe this… this betrayal!” Kennedy shoved the pair of tongues she’d been concealing behind her back in front of her, pointing them at Willow accusingly. In the tongues was a condom.   

“I should have told you.”  

“Should have told me-” Kennedy cut herself off, “It’s a kitchen Will! What you should have done was nothing! Nothing! That was the rule!”  

“It’s a stupid rule I am a fine cook!”  

“This is not about the cooking stop trying to be distracting! I have lived with you for the past half decade I can catch your tricks!”  

“I cleaned it up! Thoroughly!”  

“We all know what your version of clean is!” She looked pointedly at Willow. The point could not be refuted, she hadn’t showered in four days, her hair was falling out of the already ratty bun, and she was fairly sure she smelled of sour cream and onion chips.   

“Do you want me to throw the-”  

“Yes! Set it on fire!”  

“You’re reacting better than I thought you would,” She got up and took the tongs from her cautiously.  

“You are a slave to your hormones, I don’t expect you to have that much self control.”  

“I feel like I should be insulted. But seeing as the evidence is against me…”  

“You’re just happy Sawyer is going to get my wrath and not you.”  

“He doesn’t live here full time.”  

“Yet he’s still able to eat all of our bananas.” Willow shrugged in response to this and grabbed a lighter from her back pocket. “What the hell are you doing?!”  

“You told me to set it on fire!”  

“Not here! In the bathroom! Somewhere with water!”  

“Flushing a condom will get our plumbing backed up.”  

“Well clearly you should have thought this through.”  

“You’re the one who said-” Willow sighed, “I’m going to throw it out without setting it on fire, because obviously this can’t be fun for either of us.”  

“Really? You’re going to act like the victim?”  

“You’re going to slap him anyways.”  

“It takes two to tango Will!”  

“That’s the phrase you are going to use for me and him having-”  

“Never speak of it!”  

“Fine, fine.”  

“I know that fine! That is your untruthful fine, that is the fine of a lying lie face who lies!”   

“Is not.”  

“You’re a child!”  

“Am not.” Kennedy rolled her eyes at her friend and gestured towards the tongs in her hands.  

“Yeah, alright. You owe me new tongues and you are withholding sex from Sawyer until he washes my counters!”   


“Yeah, you thought you weren’t going to get punished didn’t you! Think not you horny huff lump!” With that she stomped out of the room, before Willow could even move she was back at her door. “There isn’t enough bleach in the world Will!” She started waving her arms then, whispering creepily, “In the worrrld,” before moon walking out the door again.  

Sawyer arrived three hours later, he barely had time to walk into the door before he was cornered by Kennedy. Seeing his girlfriend’s roommates glaring expression, a large smile spread to his face. He put down his suitcase, amused at the feeling of her eyes still on him. This is going to be fun, he thought.  

“Miss me?” He spread his arms out as if to embrace. Kennedy responded by pushing the square of her palm into the middle of his chest. He gasped and acted his way through the pain. “So no?” He watched her take a deep breath and clench her fists. He pointed to her, “I’m going to stop you right there., this whole nagging thing you’re about to do isn’t really going to work for me. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of energy on your part to shout at me, and a lot of energy on my part to listen to you, so maybe shorten it a bit, yeah? Save us a lot of time and effort that could really be used on shagging your roommates and-” She slapped him, he’s puzzled at how she did it. He’s at least a half foot taller than her, she’s not wearing heals, and he didn’t see her jump. “Ouch!” he looked at her accusingly, “You’re going to start now aren’t you?”

“How dare you!? I graciously allow you into my home! I serve you food, I treat you with kindness, I let you sleep with one of my dearest companions! And this is how I am repaid!” Kennedy’s tone was a rollercoaster of sounds, dropping to a growl and rising into a fit of shrieks and she looked quite pained to be doing it.  

“Does it hurt to make your voice like that? And, excuse me, let me sleep with her?” Sawyer crosses his arms and looks down at Kennedy’s rapidly reddening face.  

“Oh, believe me, I could stop this relationship whenever I wanted to; I am a master saboteur! Granted it would take a few months but I could do it! You’re lucky I don’t do it right now with what went on with my room. You’re disgusting defilement of my counters! I don’t understand! What is wrong with you? This is a kitchen! You make food not love! How dare you corrupt poor Willow into doing such- such a debauchery!”  

“Oh, so that’s what this is about.”  

“That’s what this is- Of course that is what this is about! What else would it be about!?”  

“The dining room table, the couch, the media cen- you know what, nothing, just the counters. Cheers.” He tries to slip past her.  

“You-you what?”   

“Cheers!” He runs to Willow’s room and locks the door. She looks up from her book suspiciously then smiles as she notices it’s him.   

“Sawyer!” Then she frowns looking at him as he slumps against the door, holding it closed as if to reinforce the lock. “What did you do?”  

“She can’t break down doors can she?”  

“Sawyer, what did you do?”  

“Have I mentioned I love you lately, because I really think I should.”  


“I have you’re luggage out here! Just thought I’d mention it!” Kennedy yells outside the door.  

“I can buy more luggage!”   

“What did you do!?” Willow jumps off the bed and tries to get out the door.  

“Nothing really, I just logically explained a better way for her to express her problems then belittled them. As far as I can tell I did nothing wrong.”  


“I’m adorable,” Willow swatted him, “I know it’s what you were thinking.”  

“I will kick you out.”  

“You could try,” and with that he scooped her up and had her on the bed.  

“I can hear you!” Kennedy yelled, from what Sawyer assumed was the kitchen.

  “I know!” Sawyer yelled back before smothering Willow’s mouth with his.  

“Will! I know you are nothing but a bag full of horny cats but be strong!”   

“Mmmff!” Will pushed him off her regretfully.  

“You are not on her side!” Sawyer pouted, mischievously running his finger tips along her side as he leaned a bit of his body weight on top of her.   

“You really want to make me suffer for this?”  

“I wouldn’t call it suffering,” he leaned down and kissed along her neck.  

“S-Sawyer,” He kissed back up to her jaw and she rolled him so she was sitting on his abdomen. “Sawyer, seriously. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”  

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he said not meeting her eye while tracing patterns with his fingertips along her thighs.   

“Well, I’m sure we could negotiate something,” she slid herself back and was straddling him, hands stretching out the fabric along his torso.   

“Interesting,” he smiled at her face that had appeared above his.   

“Well, if you clean up, and apologize to Ken…” She trailed off.

  “Slightly less interested,” he frowned and she leaned down kissing him softly, a long flutter above his lips. Then she kissed a line from his mouth to just beside his ear, whispering something into it that made him grip her hips harder and his eyes widen. “Really?”  


“And all I have to do is apologize to Kennedy?”  

“Believably, and clean the kitchen.”

“Can I do it badly?”  

“If you think it will help you be back here sooner.”  


“Good. Now go.” She squealed as he tackled her backward so her head was slightly off the foot of the bed. Giggling as he kissed softly around her face then met her lips passionately, lightly nipping at her bottom one before pulling away.  

“If your flatmate murders me, my lady must promise me, thou shall never lay with another man.”  

“What ever helps you with the after life.”  

“That seemed insincere.” She grabbed a pillow from behind her on the floor and threw it at his face.  

“Out!” He stuck a tongue out at her and went outside the door. When he entered the kitchen it was sparkling clean and smelled of bleach, it looked like somewhere a serial killer would camp out to kill their victims.   

“Kennedy?” He walked farther into the kitchen, “I just wanted to apologize, a lot of words were said, between both parties, that were very hurtful and perhaps unnecessary. I would just like to offer my help in this cleaning-” He’s cut off by a damp cloth landing on his face, with enough force to make his eyes sting, but that was mostly from the smell. “Oy! I could go blind you know!”   

“You can throw that out,” he hears her say as he pulls the cloth from his face. For a moment he thought he heard something that sounded suspiciously like “good” coming from behind him when he turned to throw out the rag.   

“Are you the reason my girlfriend was still manically cleaning the same spot on the counter when I came in as she was ten minutes after I got back?” Jude raises an eyebrow at Sawyer as he enters the kitchen.  

“Yeah, I had sex there,” Sawyer enunciates the word sex pointedly in Kennedy‘s direction, looking far too visually amused by the appalled look on her face. Jude looks impressed but quickly masks it as Kennedy turns to face him expectantly with her hands on her hips.  

“Dude, that’s so unsanitary, not cool.”  

“That’s what I said!” Kennedy says happily hugging her boyfriend.   

“Sell out,” Sawyer mouths at him.  

“Worth it!” Jude mouths back winking.   

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