Suicide to Heaven.

I was tired of it. I've finally had enough. This was it. Lindsy and I were going to end it all. One jump and it could all be over. Tears streaming down from our eyes and landing into puddles below us. We held hands. I gave her a tight hug and nodded. "one...." I said as we stepped closer to the edge of the bridge, "two..." Lindsy said as we got closer. One more step. "thr--" we both started to say but someone yelled "STOP!" and yanked me back. I looked over seeing a guy holding back Lindsy. I couldn't tell who they were, all I know is that they had just saved our lives...


10. You're My Home



I gave him a hug. He fought for me. Someone other than Violet actually cared about me. "Thank you..." I mumble as we hug. "It's not a problem, but we have to go now. I'm so sorry. It's to make up for the thing we missed when we were with you two." He pulled out of the hug. "It's fine." I weakly smile. "Unless... you wanna go?" He suggests. I smile and nod. "I have nothing to wear... My sister only left like 3 shirts, these pajamas, and 2 pairs of pants... oh and a hoodie." I sigh. "We can go shopping before the concert!!! Plus I'm sure no one would mind if you showed up in that." He smiled. His dimples and beautiful teeth making his smile perfect. "Shopping first" I laugh a little. "Oh shit..." I whisper, "Violet." I guess I didn't say it quiet enough. "What about her?" He asked confused. "I can't leave her alone." "She can come too! If.. if she wants." Niall nearly shouts. I laugh slightly. "Ummm... wait here? Please." I ask. They nod and I turn into the lobby. "Vi!!!!" I shout. I notice her balled up on the chair in the corner. "Vi..." She looked up at me. She had been crying. I kneel down in front of her. "Hun, what is it?" I ask. "Him. I just, ugh, I tried for so long to get over him. Once I did he comes into my life and breaks my heart. I took a risk for him. I know I'm being over-dramatic. I know I am, but I can't help it." She let her tears fall. "Want to go to their concert...? Go for me! We always wanted tot go to one when we were little.. now is our chance... please... for me?" I beg. "Fine...." she mumbles. "YAY!" I jump up and pull her up. "shopping time!!!!!" I grab her hand and run outside with her. "She agreed." They all looked surprised. 




I looked at Niall's face. He looked at me and our eyes met. I immediatly look down. I hate eye contact. It scares me. Makes me think they can see behind the lies. I look around us. Everyone is staring aat us. Oh god. They are judging me. I know it. Please look away. I think they noticed it was One Direction. More people start to gather around us. I stared at the ground. When are we leaving? I can't ask, they'll get annoyed of me. Please, please, PLEASE! Go away people. Next thing I know we are surrounded by cameras. I hide my face and start to mess with the zipper on my onsie. Everyone is staring. "Linds...." I mumble as I move closer to her. "Is she okay?" I hear Harry ask her. "She has severe anxiety and things like this make it act up." She replied quietly. I started to shake a little. I hate attention. Well, I love attention, but not all of this. This attention scares me. I like the attention you get from doing a good and inspiring thing. Not this. I was shoved by a man with a camera. "WHO ARE YOU!?" "WHAT'S YOUR NAME!?" They shout towards me. I feel a hand on my arm. I look back and see Louis. "It's alright." he mouthed. I shook my head no. My anxiety has been crazy lately. I haven't been taking my medicine either... He pulled me through the crowd that seperated us. "You alright, you look like your going to cry.." He said as he attempted to make eye contact with me. I stared at my feet. I shook my head no. He was right, I did feel like crying. I knew if I said one word I'd end up crying. I look around for Lindsy. She was smiling next to Harry. I'm glad she is enjoying this. I noticed more people. Why didn't they bring security with them. Then that's when I noticed the girls that were surrounding us. Where there always this many people around us. I hope none of them know who I am. Why would they know who I am? I'm not sure. I looked up at Louis, terrified. He must of realized how scared I was, because he pulled me to his side and put his arm around me. He lead us through the crowd, looking at me every few seconds to make sure I was okay. Which I wasn't. Where is the van? "Where's the van!?" Louis shouted over the people to Liam. Liam shrugged. "Can we go back inside the hotel??" I whisper trying not to cry. I don't think he heard me. "Just take the pictures and they'll leave." Harry shouted to them. They agreed. "Stay here!" Louis shouted to me and then left my side to join the others. People shoved and pushed past me to get closer to them. I started breathing heavy. People stared and girls whispered. I scanned the crowd. I was shaking even more and a few tears were falling. I can't. I pushed past everyone and ran into the hotel. I sat on the floor and rocked back-and-forth slightly as I tried to calm down. My breathing was heavy and shaky. I was shaking too. The tears fell from my eyes like waterfalls. I bit the inside of my lip. Stop crying. You look stupid. You're so pathetic. Can't even control yourself. This is why he left you. Why no one likes you. Look at Lindsy, she's enjoying herself WITH OUT you. You just hold her down. That's all I hear in my head. I hear laughs of the people. I know they were staring at me. I think I was standing weird too. They probably think I'm some sort of freak. I look out the window after I somewhat gather myself. Atleast I'm not crying anymore. I see a party bus? come up. I look at the security run out and start shoving people away from the boys. They make a path for them to the bus. I notice Louis looking around. I realize he was looking for me. I walk out the door and Louis spots me. He runs over by me and grabs my hand. He leads me to the bus. "Sorry..." I say to him. "Why? It isn't your fault you have severe anxiety. You alright?" He asks and rubs my back. "Yeah..." I laugh a little. "What?" He asks smiling. "I met the boy band I've loved forever, they save my life, twice, they help me out, and now I'm going to a concert with them. And all I did was hate everything and cry and yell... I've been a bitch to you and all you've been trying to do is help me." I look at him. "You aren't being a bitch. You've been through a lot. It's fine. Honestly. Also, sorry about all that back there..." "It's fine, Lou" I look out the window. I notice Niall is staring at me. "Violet?" Lindsy says. "Hmm?" I look at her. "You okay babe?" She asks. "I will be. That was... just.. a lot." I say unsure. "I know. My anixety was acitng up a little too." Lindsy has anxiety, but it isn't as bad. "Music? This is a party bus." Liam suggests. "Why a party bus?" I ask laughing a little. "They're fun to travel in!" Harry said excited. Lindsy smiled. I shrug. Liam put on music and made the party bus, well, a party. It was going to be a while till we reached the concert arena. Everyone was up and dancing. We were acting stupid. I noticed Niall just sitting there. I sighed. I hate this kid. He was like, home, I hated being there, but I missed it when I left. I know that's a weird thing to compare him to but it was true. I hated being around him, because he made me fall more in love with him, but when I'm not with him all I want to do is go back to him. "Niall... I'm sorry." I sit by him. "It's whatever. I'm fine." he said as he scrolled through his twitter. "Niall, I'm sorry. Okay? Want to know why I got so mad? Cause I've never loved some one. I loved you when I was younger and I pushed it away. When I saw you after you saved my life the love rushed back. You told me you wouldn't leave and I believed you. I saw the hurt on your face when you say my scars and all that. When you told me about what management said I thought I was right. That no one would ever love me. So I did what I do best and pushed it away. But no matter how much I try I can't push away the feelings for you. And I know you may not feel the same way, considering I've known you for years and you've known me for like a day, but I just. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry. I know you couldn't feel the same way about me. I'm too much of a freak. I have scars and not just scars, they're the worse kind of scars.." I say and regret it. "I don't care about your scars or cuts. I don't want to know why and I don't need to know why. You are beautiful and I don't know why, but I felt like I've known you my whole life." He looked at me. We got eye contact. I tried to break it, but I couldn't. "I'm sorry I ever hurt you." I say and get up. He pulled me back down next to him. "Do you think it's fate?" He asks me. "I hope not." I reply. He looked confused. "Fate doesn't really work out for me. If it's fate then I don't want anything to do with it." He smiled at me. "Then lets create our own fate." He got up, still holding my hand. "May I have this dance?" He smiled. I looked down and smiled as I stood up. I nodded. I didn't realize a slow song was playing. Liam and Zayn danced together. Harry danced with Lindsy. Lou was on the phone with someone. Niall leads us away from the seats and puts his hands on my waist. I instantly get chills and look down. I smile and awkwardly put my arms around his neck. He pulled me close to him. We slowly danced. It was quite. Peaceful. I looked at Lindsy and Harry who were dancing like us. I smiled when I noticed that Liam and Zayn gave up on dancing decided to annoy Louis. The song ended as we arrived at the store area. "WE'RE HERE!!" Lou yelled as the security got of the bus. "I call choosing music next time." I say as we get off the bus. Everyone nodded. We were getting ready to get off the bus. I heard a few screams from girls who must of followed us. I felt someone grab my hand and I notice it was Niall. He squeezed my hand telling me it was okay and led the way out of the bus. We walked quickly inside the store. "Violet, what do I remind you of?" Niall asked me. Odd question. "Home." I replied with a smile and ran off to join Lindsy. "Bring two outfits each. So you can change out of those sweaty clothes after the concert." Liam says and we agree. We shopped for a while and Lindsy and I decided on these:

 (Violet's left and Lindsy's Left) We bought make up and did our make up in the bathrooms. We got back on the buses and I used my phone for music. I went to my music and decided to choose Cinnamon by Ron Pope-

 I love this song. I love Ron Pope. It reminds me of well me... "Listen to this song... it means a lot to me." I say and hit play. Lindsy smiled at me as she realized what song it was. I whispered the words to myself. We all sat there and listened to the words. The song ended. "I love that song." Lindsy said and I agreed. "It reminds me of you." Niall says and I smile. "CONCERT TIME!" I didn't realize how close we were to the arena. We get off the bus and rush into the building. Lindsy and I sit in the dressing room while the boys are talking to their management and getting their clothes ready. "Violet, why'd you stop taking your medicine?" Lindsy turned to me. I shrugged. "I don't know." "Then here." She pulled out my pill bottle from her purse. "Where did you get that?" I grab it. "I found it in your bag earlier and noticed it was full. I put it in my pocket of the onsie to ask you about it, but I forgot I had it until your anxiety acted up at the hotel and I didn't wanna say anything infront of the boys. Now take it!" She took it from me and opened it and handed me two pills. I swallowed them and sighed. "Happy now mum?" I laugh and so does Lindsy. "Yes." She smiles and puts them back in her purse. "VIOLET! LINDSY! CONCERT TIME! FOLLOW US!" Someone yells from the hall. We get up and go to the hall. We follow the guy. He leads us out the exit and into the stadium. We stand in a marked off area in the front of the stadium. They music begins playing and the intro appears on the screen. 



~~~~~~I HOPE YOU ALL LIKED THE LONG CHAPTER. Sorry if the anxiety part wasn't good. I don't want to offend anyone. It's somewhat how I feel when my anxiety acts up I get a little like that. But I hope you like it and I'll update again in a few days or who nows maybe I'm already working on the next chapter??? c: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

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