Bite into me harder. Sink your teeth into my flesh. Hold me up against the wall, give it till i beg, give me some more …

Promise that you wont forget we had it all. I love you, my Kitten. - H xx


3. Three


I made an effort to go to Scarlet’s funeral. Chanel had attended with me as both of them studied law at City. She faked her cries as she spoke to Scarlet’s parents at the wake, which was being held at the Traviata pub just down the road from where I had learned of her death.
I felt strangely out of place. The room was filled with preppy law students, all of them watching me like hawks. I always assumed everyone was watching me, for no other reason but judgment. Even at home, with my family I always assumed people just judged me without asking questions. My mum had found a few of my broken razors I had hidden away under my bed. She questioned me, asking how I removed the blade but not once did she ask about my feelings and why I did what I did.
I screamed at her returning up to the safety of my room and slicing against my skin. It was all I knew how to do when I felt like I did then.
I caught a glimpse of myself in one of the mirrors hanging on the wall. It was covered in stickers promoting the cast ale the bar served. As I looked harder the girl in front of me looked upset, and angry, like she could kill someone if she had enough motivation and hatred. I swallowed hard keeping my eyes locked with hers. I picked up a glass that was placed on a nearby table, holding it by my shoulder, keeping it hidden with the intention of eventually throwing it. She smirked at me, daring me to do it and she knew I couldn’t. Hurting her was hurting myself but the person I saw was only a shadow of what I used to be. She was happy, cheeky, smart, and funny and all the great things a person can be. She was loved and she loved herself. But I wasn’t her anymore, I wasn’t 14.
I shook off the thoughts of a better me to concentrate on the person in front of me.
“Sandy.” I smiled as we both walked over to the bar. “I thought you weren’t coming?”
“I wasn’t but then Kate persuaded me to. Scarlet was my girlfriend once, after all.” He dropped his head.
We sat down at the bar; Sandy orders us both a drink before telling me more about Scarlet. Sadness crossed his features when he said her name. It appeared more of a muffled whisper than an actual word. He spoke so fondly of her, his words sweet and kind, of how the little things meant the most to him. How much he loved her.
“I'm sorry Sandy.” I whispered wiping away a tear as it made its way down his cheek.
“It’s alright, Thorne. She was –“
“Moved on quickly from Kate didn’t you son?!” Albie chuckled as he patted Sandy hard on his shoulder.
“Lay off Albie!” I spat.
Albie smirked down at me knowing he had hit a nerve. I wrapped my hand around Sandy’s fist keeping my eyes locked with Albie’s.
“Feisty is your Thorne.” He chuckled darkly back at Callum then placed his gaze back on me.
I shot a glance at Sandy who appeared to have calmed down after Albie’s comment then quickly glanced up at Albie. He seemed unharmed by his girlfriend’s death, a different person to the night he crashed Sandy’s party. As I held onto his gaze I could see he was guarding his emotions from his friends. A girlfriend meant almost nothing to them, but Albie had a soft spot. Her liked Scarlet a lot more than he let on.
I linked my arm with Sandy’s pushing through the small gap between Albie and Callum.
“I belong to no-one!” I hissed looking straight up at Callum before walking out of the pub doors.

“Hey daddy.” I smiled walking through the door.
He held his brief case in his hands staring Sandy down as he walked behind me.
“Daddy this is Sandy. My friend.” I strengthened my voice upon the word friend. Knowing my dad disliked the thought of any type of boy near me or Selena.
Sandy held out his hand which my father took warily keeping his eyes locked with his.
“No funny business, Thorne!” He raised his voice slightly as if to warn Sandy off. My dad stormed out the door. I sighed shaking my head. He impossible, I thought.
“Sorry about that, he’s not very welcoming when it comes to boys.” I smiled sheepishly.
Embarrassment washed over me, my father was impulsive when it came to boys, animals and change in general.
“But he lets you date Callum?” Sandy raised an eyebrow.
My breathe catch in my throat as he looked at me. I felt trapped under his gaze, almost like he knew everything that had happened, was happening between myself and Callum.
“Odd one your dad.” He smiled breaking the tension I could feel building up inside my stomach. I let go of a relieved sigh. He wandered past me into the kitchen.
I hung my coat up then followed him into the kitchen. Selena was sitting up on the stool busy with an essay for English. I picked up her coffee mug, ice cold coffee half finished.
“Want another one babe?”
She looked up, dark waves falling from her shoulders. “Only if you're making.”
I looked towards Sandy who seemed more interested in what Selena was writing than a cup of coffee. He nodded with a gentle smile. I flicked on the kettle, setting out the mugs along the counter and filling them up with coffee, sugar and milk for both Sandy and Selena. I placed a teabag into the other cup only pouring milk. Perfect, I thought grinning.



A gentle breeze flowed through the window of the living room. The past week had been rough on a few of the people I had seen knocking about town. Scarlet’s death seemed to bring it to a standstill.
I lifted my body from the bed looking across to my side, it was empty. She had left like they all do without so much as a goodbye.
“Fuck.” I shouted, slapping a glass of water straight across the other side of the room.
I stormed over to the window. Ripping the curtains open. The light was strong against my tired eyes. It took a few moments for them to adjust and when they did I was provided with a breath-taking view of London.
Few things managed to take my breathe away. At the sudden thought Thorne popped into my head. Her blue eyes, long blonde curls cascading down the length of her back, a cute little nose and lips plump and pink, kissable.
I shook off the thoughts as my stomach clench. My fingers were curled around the window sill, head bowed down attempting to control myself.
“Harry?” My mums voice echoed in the hall.
“Mum?” I questioned back, my tone harsh.
She crept closer to my door, floor boards creaking under her feet. I heard the door latch open but kept my eyes focused on the busy traffic below.
“How was your evening?” she asked warily, although she knew the answer.
I turned on my heels, my blood was boiling. “My evening was just lovely mother!” I wandered forwards towering over her. “Another night, another girl.” I hissed.
Her expression showed fear and regret. She swallowed before stepping back into the hall. I could see visible tears building up in her eyes but she held them in. Always the brave one was mum.
She carried on walking backwards until reaching the stairs then scooting quickly down them. I slammed the door, shifting back over to my bed falling down angrily onto the messed duvet.
I shut my eyes, Thorne’s image appearing back upon my eyelids. She seemed peaceful while she slept, like nothing could bother her.
My phone buzzing inside my jeans pocket woke me from my daydream.
From: Sandy
yoh mate fancy helping a fella and picking me up from Thorne’s?
A smirk played on my lips as I thought about her again, everything about her.
I took a quick shower, dressing in a fresh pair of jeans and a blue cotton button up shirt. I slipped my feet into a pair of convers before ruffling my hair out, running my fingers through the curls and sliding it to the right hand side. I strolled out of the bedroom door, grabbing a jacket from the cupboard.
“Bye mum.” I leaned over the sofa where she was sitting, lightly kissing her cheek. She looked up at me, her eyes slightly red from crying. I felt terrible for making her cry, I hated doing that to her after all she has been through.
I slipped my phone into my back pocket, snatching the keys to my Ranger Rover off the hook and disappearing out of the door.
The short drive to Thorne’s house was nothing but familiar, I had driven past it a few times on my way over to Sandy’s. The boys and myself seemed to be getting along pretty well. Better than we initially used to.
I texted Sandy, informing him I was on my way. As I drove past the small pub I could see drunken people lounging over the tables outside. I shook my head in disgust at how they were behaving at a wake of what seemed to be a very loved girl.
I passed Sandy’s house noticing Zayn and Liam were already there. They were sitting outside, Zayn with a beer and Liam with a glass of coke. I smiled, piping the horn as I drove past.
I could see Thorne’s front door ahead, a tight sensation rumbled in the pit of my stomach as I climbed out of the car. I strolled up the steps then knocked lightly on the door.
I waited a few moments before Thorne swung open the door. She stood speechless in front of me, licking her lips lightly and not knowing she was doing so. I chuckled.
“Hello, love.” I smirked looking her up and down.
Her black dress hugged her body, showing off her curves politely and black heels only elongating her legs.
I stepped forwards so I was towered over her. I grabbed her hips being careful not to press to hard, remembering the bruises from the party. I pushed her back against the wall shutting the door behind me with my foot.
I pressed my lips down hard on hers, she groaned loudly into my mouth. I forced my tongue in, tasting all of her mouth and playing around with her tongue. I removed my touch from her lips and began slowly kissing against her jaw line. She tensed as I pressed down on a sweet spot in the middle of her neck. Her resistance getting harder as my mouth moved further down to her collar bones.
“Mmm the things I could do to you…” I whispered against her skin soothing over the swollen skin with my tongue.
Thorne pressed her hands flat against her chest pushing me away. She shook beneath me causing me to chuckle.
“Sandy’s in the kitchen!” she whispered hard then stomping in front of me.
I wrapped my fingers around her tiny wrist. “I mean what I say, gorgeous.” I winked letting her go then followed her into the kitchen keeping my eyes placed on her sculpted arse.
“Thanks for coming mate.” Sandy’s words ripped me from admiring Thorne.
I nodded taking hold of his hand, shaking it. I looked over his shoulder at Thorne as he finished his coffee. Sandy seemed oblivious that I wasn’t listening, giving the occasional “mmm.” And “oh.” To make him believe I was listening.
“Shall we get off mate? The others are probably waiting.”
“Yeah.” I nodded.
I smiled over at the girl sitting by the breakfast table. She was in deep concentration and I didn’t want to bother her, not when all I wanted was before me. I smirked as Thorne wandered in front of me making sure to keep close to Sandy as we walked down the hall way.
“Bye Sandy.” She waved as he wandered down across the road to my car.
I stood before her, keeping one foot out so she couldn’t close the door.
“I’ll be seeing you darlin’.” I winked pecking her hard on her cheek.
I heard her scuff her feet on the ground. I chuckled inside my throat walking down the steps. I looked back over my shoulder, she was still stood in the same place. I pouted my lips up motioning kissing her then raised my eye brows pointing slightly. Thorne turned on the spot, almost disgusted in my actions. I laughed as I climbed into the car shrugging off questions from Sandy.
I turned up the radio as it played a John Mayer song, the song seemed to sooth me. I smiled lightly thinking about Thorne. Going to be tough Hazza, but she’s well worth it.



Zayn was on his third beer. He was sitting lazily in the deck chair next to me as he sipped on the liquid flowing out of the bottle.
“You know Liam I think it would be a good thing if you had a drink. It might loosen you up a bit.”
I half smiled at him before lowering my eyes to my hands that were wrapped around the glass of coke I had resting on my thigh. So many times I had thought about having a drink but the thought of what happens as the alcohol is rushing through your blood stream scared me. Bad memories erupted in my mind as I thought harder, alcohol had ruined my family, cost them a life and a young one at that.
“I can’t Zayn.” I breathed.
He lifted himself curious at my words. His expression full of questions.
“My cousin died due to alcohol abuse, so I cant. It will rip my family further apart. I don’t want to be responsible for that.”
I heard Zayn shifting around in his seat. I lifted my head to see what it was he was fussing about when I saw him stood on the grass tipping the remaining fluid out of the bottle. I smiled at his actions.
“Thank you.” I breathed as he sat back down.
Zayn didn’t say anything other than return the smile and crack open a bottle of coke.
A few moments later Harry’s car pulled up behind Louis’ mini. Him and Sandy climbed out. The loudness of Harry’s automatic lock system sounded, the birds fluttered out of the trees at the sound circling each other.
Louis joined us in the front garden a short while later.
“Someone text Niall!” Louis whined.
“I got it.” I nodded taking my phone out of my pocket.
Just as my message showed up as sent, Niall came racing around the corner on his bike.
“Sorry I’m late lads, mum had a pot on.” He smiled at all of us, cheeks burning soft tinge of pink.
“Sit down lad.” Sandy handed him a chair as he spoke.

As the lads laughed together over a few more beers, Zayn still only drinking coke, I noticed a young girl carrying boxes into the house across the street. It seemed it was only her and another woman, maybe her mother? I thought. I wasn’t able to see her face but just by the box she was carrying I could tell she had a very wide music taste. Her hair fell down her back, brown with pink tips, she was tall, very thin and dressed very classy. I looked across to Niall who also seemed to be interested in what was going on. I tilted my head, motioning for him to go over and introduce himself. He shook his head lightly before falling back into the conversation with the rest of the boys.
I carried on watching her. She was stood talking to the other woman now. A playful giggle echoed across the street, I saw Niall shaking his head as her laugh ran through him. Niall was easy to read, he became more vulnerable when he seemed to like someone. But his shyness steered him clear of meeting anyone new. His cheeks flushed a light crimson and a shadow of a smile appeared on his lips. I watched the two of them closely, as the girl turned revealing her beautiful face I saw Niall lower his head, twiddling his thumbs. I kept hold of the girls eyes for a long moment before nodding in form of a hello. She smiled quickly looking at Niall before also letting her head drop.
“C’mon Liam, its getting a bit chilly.” Zayn patted my shoulder gulping down the last of his coke.
We wandered inside the house, Niall seeming a little overwhelmed as he flopped down onto the sofa.
“Parents don’t mind you lads staying here the night?” Louis asked.
“Nah, parents aren’t really worried. It’s only Niall that’s got school tomorrow.” I grinned nodding at him.
My smile remained as I sat beside him. “Girl next door looks like she is attending Abbey Community.” I shoved against Niall’s shoulder playfully. He tried not to smile at my words, hiding it in the cushions on the sofa.
“Shut up Liam.” He coughed loudly.
I sat back in my seat laughing at Niall when I noticed Harry staring aimlessly out of the bay window. He was the youngest of us all but didn’t attend school. He worked the hours he needed to and when he wasn’t a few hours with us he was bouncing from numerous amounts of clubs.
He never really talked to us, not about his private life anyway. He turned, pulling out his phone wandering into the hallway.
“What’s with him?” Louis commented looking back over his shoulder.
We all shook our heads, no one knew Harry’s story.
“I have to shoot.” Harry poked his head into the living room a few moments later.
Sandy thanked him for picking him up then he nodded at all of us in turn. A short second passed and the front door slammed shut leaving us all with unanswered questions about who Harry really was…


Paul was slouched on the couch flicking through channels. I crept slowly past the opening of the living room trying not to be heard. The floorboards creaked softly under my feet, but not enough for him to hear I hoped.
“Selena come over here a moment.” His voice demanded.
I shut my eyes tightly, scolding myself in my mind. My stomach growled as I approached the sofa Paul was sitting at.
“Sit.” He held his hand out pointing to the seat beside him. I felt uncomfortable as I moved in closer to sit beside him. I swallowed hard as I took my place. He didn’t move his head to meet mine, he just stayed focused on the television in front of him.
“Is Thorne seeing anyone else but Callum?” His voice was low but demanding.
“N-No she isn’t.” I stuttered.
Just as I finished my sentence he faced me. His eyes shone a light shade of blue very similar to Thorne’s.
“And this Sandy boy? Who is he?”
His voice was hard and his eyes examining my reactions to his questions.
“Sandy is a friend of hers, he has a girlfriend, her name is Kate.” I attempted to smile but his hard facial expression made me consider my smile.
“Anyone else I should be worried about, as she does have a boyfriend and her mind does like to wonder.”
Only one face came to mind but as I studied his features I quickly shook him out of my mind. He spoke as if he were inside her head, like he knew her thoughts. Paul assumed Thorne’s false feelings towards Callum were real; he assumed a lot of things about his daughter. Little of which he knew the truth.
“No, no-one.” I said coldly.
I gently lowered my head before standing up. I walked slowly out of the living room towards the staircase.
“And Selena, don’t think I’m not watching you either because I am.” His soft, husky voice shuddered through my veins. I gulped before rushing up to my room.
“Sel?” Thorne shouted from her room.
I ignored her, collapsing on my bed holding my pillow close to my face. I screamed into it kicking against the duvet below my feet. A short moment pasted and I felt hands on my waist and a weight climb up onto my bed beside me.
“Selena, love what’s wrong?”
“Thorne?” I asked still sobbing into the pillow.
“I’m here my love.”
She pulled the pillow from my embrace and cupped my face in her palms questioning my actions.
I swallowed. “It was Paul, he scares me and I … I can’t be here if he scares me Thorne.” I whispered.
“He can’t hurt you Sel, he won’t hurt you. I promise. Daddy’s harmless even though he seems to be the toughest.”
I fell into Thorne’s chest, endless sobbing falling into her jumper. I could hardly hold in my tears, Paul had scared me with what he had said and I wondered if his actions would follow his words. Liam flashed into my mind, I liked Liam. Something in him was different and I felt different when I was around him. I felt normal again, like I was moving forward.
“He’s ruined this for me.” I looked up at Thorne. “I can’t see Li-“
She pressed a finger over my lips, asking me to keep quiet. She pulled me back into her warm chest, humming softly along to an Ed Sheeran song.
“How we feel has nothing to do with him. He can’t control us forever Sel. He won’t because I won’t let him. Freddie broke through and so can we. He won’t scare you again, I promise.” 
Thorne’s soft words and humming flowed through my body. I grew sleepy and weak and my body felt like it was floating against the music as her humming surrounded me.
I let my eyes slowly shut, drifting off into dream land as I pictured him deeper. Everything as perfect as it was the first time I set my eyes upon him.



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