Bite into me harder. Sink your teeth into my flesh. Hold me up against the wall, give it till i beg, give me some more …

Promise that you wont forget we had it all. I love you, my Kitten. - H xx


17. Seventeen


Silence filled the room we were all sitting in, it was torturous seeing everyone so lost and unable to comprehend what was happening. I looked across the room seeing Selena still leaning against Liam’s bed holding tightly onto his hand. Breath burnt through my throat as I sighed feeling awful about all of this, I could see Zayn crouched resting on his knees going through everything in his head, blaming himself. I lifted my body wandering idly over to his side, imitating his position.

“Don’t blame yourself, mate. None of this is your fault. Feed of lies, all of it and you know that, we all know that.” I whispered.

A few hours had passed, doctors had wandered in and out of the room speaking to Liam’s parents quietly offering answers to their questions. Zayn and Niall had fallen asleep in their seats, as Thorne had cuddled up next to Harry. I nodded towards him before exiting upon noticing the coffee was finished.  Wandering down the ward to the cafeteria carrying the tray of cups I saw Damien sitting with his head buried in his palms alone on one of the chairs. 

“Alright mate.” I smiled walking up to him.

He looked up at me almost instantly, eyes puffy and blood shot from crying. His bottom lip quivered as he continued to stare at me, unsure whether he was looking at me or through me. His head soon ended up in his hands again, heavy panting escaping his lips and tears rolling down his cheeks. I placed the tray onto a trolley nearby before sitting next to him, pulling him to my side.

“Hey, it’s alright mate.” I spoke softly.

“He’s dead, Louis. It’ll never be alright.” He sobbed. “I can’t even tell the coppers who did this to him! He’ll never have justice because of Niall’s stupid secret. Your stupid secret. This is such a mess, such a fucking mess. We were going to get married, have kids…we had plans, Louis. Plans. Now I have nothing, nothing left all because of your secretive past.” 

I let out a long breath not sure about what to say. Words wouldn’t make the situation better, wouldn’t change what had happened or what will happen.

“Look, Damien. I know you can’t tell police, nor can you tell anyone what really happened and I know that must be so hard. Trust me, I’ve been there. But I promise you, Donovan will get justice. I swear to you, he will.” I stated, looking him dead in the eyes. 

He cleared his throat, nodding and shaking his head before wiping the last of his tears from his cheek. Damien quickly glanced around the ward, sniffling before staring back towards me. I quickly smiled ready to get up as I knew the boys would be waiting for their fresh coffee. 

“Mate, come and sit with us in the room. It’ll be nice to have you there, we all need to stick together. Alright?”

His hand pressed down against my upper thigh as I attempted to stand, keeping me stationary in my seat. I quickly turned my head upwards to face Damien, being met with his lips pressing hard against mine. my eyes fluttered closed, before darting back open as I drew in a sharp breath realising what was happening before pushing hard against his shoulders. he slouched back into his seat, slightly out of breath as he registered what had just happened. The dark tinge of blue circling his iris soon returned to its usual sea colour. 

"Louie..." He stuttered.

"See you in there." 

I sprung out of the chair lifting the tray from the table it was set upon hurrying out into the cafeteria. I was still in shock about what happened with Damien moments ago, and I couldn't fathom whether he had done it on purpose, to see if I would give him the affection he craved, or just out of loneliness. I'd hoped it was because he was hurting, and not because he wanted me to be a rebound, not that I would offer to be that for him; he was after all only my mate. 

All the while being lost in my head I hadnt noticed the young nurse staring at me from across the room collecting her food from the counter. 

I nodded softly offering a tiny smile heading over to the coffee station to refill the tray of mugs still focused souly on figuring out Damien's actions.

"A lot on your mind, aye?" A sweet voice spoke from beside me.

I shot a glance to my left noticing the same nurse holding her tray full of healthy snacks smiling, looking a little concerned. 

"Oh, just a bit." 

i continued filling up the mugs with the coffee, its strong scent filling the air around me. i took a handful of sugar sachets and some spoons lifting the tray up and turning. The nurse walked beside me silently, a small smile being shared every now and again as we walked towards the double doors. i pushed my shoulder against it offering her to walk out before myself, following her out into the ward. 

"This is me." i whispered.

She turned, hazel orbs connecting with mine fully for the first time. "I've heard a lot about your friend in there, nurses can't stop talking about you lot, all pretty good looking, including yourself." She smirked, her eyes scanning over my shoulder at my friends before returning to mine.

"Oh yeah, you think so, huh?!" I chuckled lowly. 

"I do, I do..."

"Would you like to join us, if you haven't anywhere to be?"

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to be a bother."

"I think we could all use a little bit of brightness at this moment in time." I smiled.

The girls face lit up, eyes sparkled, pink lips curling up over her teeth into a large grin. She seemed excited almost before composing herself and following me into the glum room. I set the tray on the table, the clanking of porcelain grabbing Harry's attention. He nodded before resting his head back down against Thorne's. 

"I don't know your name, love?" I smiled as she took a seat next to the sleeping Zayn.

"It's Zena." 

"Warrior princess, huh!" I joked.

"Safe to say my parents enjoyed it a little too much." 

Zena giggled softly before focusing on retrieving her sandwich she had placed in her handbag earlier. i perched myself on the armrest of the sofa beside her noticing Damien glaring at me from across the room. I shook my head bring the coffee cup up to my lips and taking a sip. 

a full hour had passed, Zena's little giggles filling the glum room as we spoke. She was sweet, a lot like Thorne who was asleep still next to her boyfriend. A smile graced my lips as I watched her contently listening to the girl beside me. An angry grunt sounded from where Damien was sitting, his body almost launching itself out of his slouched position before storming over to the door. As he passed me I took hold of his arm staring deeply into his eyes.

"What the hell is wrong? We are all exhausted enough, we don't need you feeling sorry for yourself as well." I said through gritted teeth.

"What's wrong with me? Wow, Louis."

"Don't wow, Louis me."

"Shit, Lou... He died, my boyfriend died. None of my friends or family know, none of his family know. And when I show interest in you, as you clearly made your move first, you fuck me over by bring her in here."

"I never made a move on you, Damien. I was comforting you, as a friend. I would have done it with any of the others as well. You're my friend, and I appreciate that you came to me, and trusted me with your relationship but kissing me was not only ridiculous, but it was also just because you're lonely. I don't blame you, and trust me I know what it's like to be lonely and scared. But pulling something like that wont solve anything."

"Just fuck off, okay? Please...spare me your explanation, I know what happened, and I know you felt something towards me as well."

He yanked his arm from my grip rushing off into the busy ward. I shook my head angrily turning back heading back into the quiet room, only to be stopped by Niall's questioning eyes searching for an answer in mine...

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