Blondy

17 Year old Ashley hasn't ever had a childhood. She spent most of it taking care of her little sister, Amelia. Before that, her and her sister were abused by her step dad when their mother died. Now that Ashley's in school, she's had a unwanted, sexual abuser. She doesn't know his name, his age, his reasons for hurting her like he has been. All she knows is if she tells anyone, or if she doesn't do exactly what he tells her too. He'd kill her. Her whole life she's only felt harm, hate and beatings from the male species, that is until Niall. No male has ever been so gentle with her. She gets caught up in what she thinks is her trying to protect and take care of her little sister that she forgets to take care of herself. Can Niall help her with all this damage she's been forced to live through? Or will she shut him out like everyone else in her life.

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17. Chapter 17

Ashley's POV:

"Are you sure?" Niall whispered as he laid on top of me. I nodded uncertainly. "No, Ash you're not sure." He sat up, I bowed my head and brought myself to his level. "No, I-I-I am. I swear I am, Niall." I said. Though I wasn't sure If I was. I loved him, I truly did. I wanted to give myself away to him, and nobody else. But sometimes, I feel like my virginity is the only pure part of me left. I've been beaten, thrown, abused, tortured, but I've never had someone take this away from me. Not ever. Niall was different though, he made me crave things I would've never thought I'd crave. He showed me things I would've never dreamt of. "Look at you, though." He brushed his hand softly against my cheek. "You're scared, Ash. Y-You're s-scared of me." He said, I suppose a worried look was smeared on my face due to his concern. "I'm sorry." I said, he sighed. "Stop apologizing." He said. I bowed my head. "Sorr- uhm..." I stopped myself. "Look Ashley, you know I love you. I love you with all my heart and I- I can't imagine my life without you. Y-You're the best thing that's ever happen to me. But I would never pressure you into anything, let alone watch you pressure yourself into anything, I just want you to think about it, okay?" "But I have thought about it, Niall. I'm not stupid and I'm not a little girl. I know what I want and I- I- . . . I want you, Niall." I said. He looked deep into my eyes, I felt my cheeks heat up at his gaze. "You're sure?" He asked, I smiled at him. "There's nothing I'd want more." I said, he brought a half smirk upon his lips as he enjoyed my complement. He took a last look in my eyes before creeping his hand up to my face as he fiddled his fingers within my hair. He tilted his head as he took in my appearance, I lightly smiled at his ocean faded eyes peering down at me. I felt his finger tips crawl to the back of my neck as he leaned in closer to me, I shifted my lips toward his. Our lips moved as one as his hand lingered to my waist. He started to pull me closer as I realized he was enjoying the kiss more than I expected. He started to moan quietly as he laid me back on the bed, I couldn't help but feel as if he was moving too fast but- I practically begged him for this. Should I just keep quiet? No, Niall would want me to say something. "Niall," I let out between kisses. "Niall, you're going too fast." I desperately whispered. He backed off in a second. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I'll go slower..." He whispered, I smiled. "I'm fine, thank you." He smiled as I knew he was glad that I had said something, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he continued to leave soft kisses against my lips, he position eventually changed toward my neck. He left kisses and love bites along the line from my ear to my shoulder. I couldn't help but whimper at his touch. I saw him quickly stand to his knees as he whipped off his T-shirt awfully quickly. I was shocked at his torso, it was nice and strong and extremely fit. I felt his hands travel to the bottom of my shirt. Imagines of the past flickered in my mind as I jumped at his touch. "Niall." I said again, I hated to stop him but- He said if something was wrong, I should tell him. He backed away, both of his arms on each side of my head as he supported himself up. I frowned in despite of myself. "I'm sorry," I said, he brushed my cheek with his palm. "It's okay, Ashley." He kissed my lips. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." He whispered as he reached for my shirt again. This time, I helped him take off my top. Putting those dreadful thoughts aside as I kissed the boy I loved. My shirt fell slowly off the bed as I was just in my under clothes and shorts. He started to whisper in my ear. "You're so beautiful." He kissed my cheek. "And irresistible." He kissed my neck. "And perfect." He pulled away and kissed my lips. I smiled. Then, my craving lust took over as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He hesitated to touch my thighs out of respect. "Niall." I cupped his face and kissed his lips. "I love you." I looked deep into his eyes. He smiled at me. "I love you too, Ash."

"I love you too."

***The next morning***
Ashley's POV:

I woke up the next day as the sun crept onto my eyelids, giving me a red-ish tint to fall onto my vision. I fluttered my eyes opened and noticed my head lying perfectly on Niall's bare chest. My body was so sore, it was killing me. My legs felt like someone had punched them multiple times, my arms hurt like hell as I struggled to move. But I managed to pull through. I noticed the shirtless male above my head and started to get concerned about myself. I looked down and saw a giant shirt fell over my body and my underwear still on. I sighed. I glanced up at Niall who was sound asleep, he was as cute as a button. I smiled. But sadly, my grin faded out as quickly as it faded in. "Dammit." I cursed under my breath. I went into panic mode as I scurried out of bed and quickly into the bathroom. I fell against the wall and started to tear up. Why was I crying? I just felt so bad about myself. For giving in to lust. For allowing my desperate, weak side to kick in and crush everything independent thing I had. Even though it was Niall, I still couldn't help but hate myself the day after. "Ashley?" A certain, Irish tone caused me to jumped to my feet and brush off my tears very quickly. "Ashley? What's wrong?" He asked. "Nothing nothing, I-I'm fine." I lied. He frowned. "Shit, Ashley. Tell me what's wrong, Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Is it because of me? Ash, talk to me, please." He walked closer, I couldn't help but cry even more now that he was here, I felt so bad about everything. "No- I just-" I couldn't get the words out. "I don't know." I said. "Ashley, please just tell me." He grasped both of my hands. "I guess I just regret it." I nearly whispered. I tilted my head upward to meet his eye line. The look on his face terrified me. He looked so terribly sad, he hated himself and he hated that I regretted it. I hurt his feelings, I really did. "No, Niall. Oh no, what I mean't was-" "You what?" He said with a hint of anger peering through his voice. "You- Y-You... Regret it?" He started. "No I just-" "Yes, you just said you regret it. You regret that. You gotta be kidding me, Ashley." His voice got louder. "You regret it?! Really, Ash?! God dammit! You know I gave myself to you just as much as you gave yourself to me! You're not the only one who lost something last night, Ash! God! You feel pity for yourself, don't you?! Stop crying over it, Ash and stop feeling bad for yourself cause you're pissing me off!!!" He screamed at me. I tried holding back my tears, but Niall had a power over me that made me weaker than I really was. I understood why he was upset though, I hurt his feelings. "I-I-I'm s-sor-sorry." I stuttered quietly, "God damn, speak up, Ash!" He shouted. "I said I'm sorry!!" I screamed back at him. He stared at the tears forming in my eyes as I knew he had felt bad. "Fuck, Ash I didn't mean to-" "Yea, well you did. And like you said, I gotta get over myself, right?" I stormed out. "Ashley wait!" He called for me, but I kept walking. "Forget it, Niall! I'll be fine." He caught up with me quickly as he grabbed my wrist. "But I don't want you to just be "Fine." I want you to be happy." He desperately cried for my forgiveness, though I wasn't sure what for. I was the one out of line, honestly. He looked deep into eyes, honesty poring out of his. "I'm sorry, Ashley. I didn't know. I was just- I just-" He took a deep breath. "I just wanted to be everything you wanted. I didn't want you to regret anything and I-" "I don't, Niall. I don't regret anything. It was perfect, Niall. More than perfect in fact. You were-" I didn't feel completely comfortable with the subject. He walked over to me and wrapped his giant, strong arms around me and held me oh so tightly. "You too." He whispered in my ear. "You were incredible." He always knew what to say, I hugged him back, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love you." I whispered. "I love you, too babe." He said.

"And I always will..."

"I always will..."

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