Not the Same

As a child, she had an easy life. A family that loved her, classmates that admired her, and friends that cherished her. After her older sister's death and her best friends' sudden move out of the city, nothing felt the same for her, both physically and mentally. Growing up, she learned how to hide her pain behind her smile. 9 years later, sixteen year old Carter Smith is excited for her friends to come back. But with a new school year comes new classmates. Will the new guys who call themselves JML change how she feels about the friends she has now?
please be warned that this is my first fanfic so... hope you like it :) COPYRIGHT (c)


21. Secrets

Lewis' P.O.V.

My heart started pounding watching the man standing at the top of the wheel. I could see the silhouette of his whole body shaking in the darkness. I could hear his quivering breaths. Alex is as still as a statue next to me.

"What are you doing?" I try to yell as calmly as possible not to scare him.

"Stop it! You can't make me get down!" he yelled back. He got closer and closer to the edge, but I could see him hesitating.

"I'm not telling you to come down. I'm asking why you're doing this," I said.

"You don't know what it's like," said the man silently. "You don't know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back." Here's my chance. My chance to save him.

"Do you think that taking your life will solve anything?" I half yelled for him to hear. "Will it change anything? You said she doesn't love you back. Did you think that after you died, she would love you?" After saying that, I wished I could take it back. He was going to do it now.

"You don't know anything!" he screamed.

"Stop! Is this really what you want to do? Have you thought of all the people who you'll leave behind? It doesn't matter if she doesn't love you. You'll leave behind your friends and family who love you. If she doesn't love you, then it wasn't meant to be. It may be hard, but life gets better. What if your one came right after this?" said Alexandra.

"I don't know what to do," the man said. She took her hand out and the man took it. Now sitting inside our cart, he silently started sobbing. "Thank you, thank you."


Standing outside of Alex's front porch, my face slowly got red. What do guys usually do when they bring a girl home?

"Thanks for today. I had a great time," she said, her hazel eyes searching my dark brown ones.

"Really?" I said. Nervously, I scratched the back of my neck. "I'm sorry about what happened today."

"How is it your fault? Anyways you helped the man," she said giving me an encouraging smile.

"I tried to help the man," I corrected. "It was all you."

"The point is, you tried to help him. You're trying to be a better person. Right?" She checked her watch. It was already 8:45 pm. "I should probably go inside," she said. Lifting her arms full of the stuffed animal I won her, she lifted them up. "I want to show them around their new home. I'll see you at school?"

"Yeah! Definitely, I'll see you at school," I said, a smile creeping on my face. Opening her front door, she took one step inside. After looking back at me, she quickly walked back to me. After giving me a quick peck on the cheek, he returned inside. Lifting my right hand, I placed it upon my right cheek where I had just had my first kiss.


Carter's P.O.V.

I was surprised to see Hedwig still in my arms when I woke up. Fixing my bed, I placed him on the dresser next to a picture of a five year old me arm in arm with my five year old boy. We'd be best friends forever, he told me. If only he didn't move away. I wonder what he looks like now?  Running downstairs to get some breakfast, I turned on the television to the news and saw that the man from last night was safe and sound thanks to two sixteen year old's Lewis Jae and Alexandra Ferguson.

Stepping outside the door to go to school, I was Kevin waiting across the street. Putting on a painful smile, I walked up to him.

"Good morning, Kevin. I guess it's just the two of us today," I said with a little laugh.

"It's okay, little bunny. Callum seems to be spending a lot of time with Damian," he replied.

"Someone say bromance!" I yelled. We both looked at each other. The both of us started laughing like crazy. So far, so good. Things aren't awkward.

"It's okay like this right?" Kevin said seriously.

"Just like this," I replied. He ruffled my hair and we made our way to school.


Taking my seat, I could see Zeland looking at me. I guess he just saw Kevin drop me off to class.

"Are the two of you okay now?" he asked me softly. His eyes searched mine. If only I had met him before Kevin.

"How did you know it was him that, you know, I had problems with?" I asked.

"You can be very transparent at times," he said patting me on the back.

"Are you kidding? So everyone knows?"

"It doesn't take a genius to figure that out," said Damian walking into the classroom. Following closely behind was Callum.

"Does Scarlett know?" I asked.

"Don't worry, she's so clueless," whispered Aiden to my ear. He sent shivers down my spine. I punched him on the arm to tell him not to do that again. Laughing, he sat back in his seat. His confident self now did not compare to his shy self when we first met. I smiled a bit.

"Here Carter. I made you lunch before I went to Damian's place today. I don't want you to eat french fries for lunch forever," Callum said handing me the brown paper bag. The bell finally rang and everyone went to their assigned classes and seats. I looked over my shoulder only to find Scarlett's desk empty.


Three and a half hours later was the end to Mr. Hayes speech about how math would be the language of the future. I was almost near the door when I heard someone call my name.

"I was the one who called you," said Mr. Hayes. Turning back, I told JML and Alex that I'd meet them at the cafeteria.

"What is it that you wanted to discuss with me, sir?" I asked politely. Why is it that whenever I talk to someone higher up than me, my voice always goes up?

"It's about your grades. We're already half way through the school year. You're marks are slipping. Carter, you're one of my star pupils. Is there something bothering you?" he asked nicely. I wanted to vomit. Did he treat his most prized students this way?

"No, there's nothing," I lied. I'd say anything to get out of this converation.

"I think you'll have to get a tutor," he said.

"Are you serious?" I said. "Are they that bad?"

"I'm afraid so. Report cards are being distributed next week. If you ace it, then maybe you can bring your mark up. Why don't you ask Lewis Jae to teach you? He's in the mathlete team. Another one of my prized students. Maybe he can help you."


I entered the cafeteria and sat right beside Lewis.

"Hey, why are you sitting beside him?" said Zeland. "You usually sit between me and Alex!"

"Don't tell me you like him too?" asked Alexandra. Everyone's eyes turned to her.

"What did you just say?" asked Gabriel leaning closer to her. Her face suddenly got red. I smiled. The night at the amusement park did the two of them some good.

"I said nothing," she said filling her mouth with her pizza. Her hazel eyes searched mine for help.

"So," I said loudly, "Lewis, can you come over to my place today?"

"Why?" he asked.

"I need a tutor," I said to him embarrassed.

"Sure. I'll meet you at five," he said and continued to eat his lunch. There was something off with him.

"You're just going to do it? Just like that? What happened to the Lewis who would always say mean remarks and smirk at me? You're acting weird," I said poking him.

"Yeah, I'm trying this new thing called being nice to people. Get used to it guys. I'm changing," he said proudly.

"You did this, right?" said Damian pointing to Alex. His low, husky voice made it sound like an accusation.


With the last bell ringing, I could hear cheers from the students as I walked out the classroom. Passing through the school gates to go home, I saw Scarlett leaning against the fence. Her chauffeur was a few feet away.

"Scarlett! Why didn't you go to school today?" I asked as I ran to her.

"I wish I went to school today. It's better than sitting in a room full of old dudes talking about how they can make their business better," she responded running her slim fingers through her long, black hair.

"What did your dad do this time?" I asked.

"He made me stay for the entire business meeting because he wanted me to meet his friend's son. He's setting me up!" she screamed throwing her hands into the air.

"Wait. Let me guess where this is going. Your father wants you to date his friend's son to help his hotel business," I said slowly.

"Bingo. Ugh, I hate this," she said.

"Well, is he cute?" I asked. she gave me a dirty look. "What? I'm just asking."

"Yeah, I guess. But I am not going to go along with my father's plan," Scarlett said. I silently scoffed at her. How annoying were first world problems? "I don't want to talk about this anymore. How's the plan about Kevin going? I don't know what to do about it."

"Um, yeah. I'm still working on it. I'm just asking. Are you serious about him?" I asked.

"Why?" she asked.

"Are you sure you're not making yourself like him to have an excuse to not like the guy your father's trying to set you up with?"

"Is that what you think?" said Scarlett crossing her arms.

"Oh, look at the time! I have to go home right now. See you tomorrow!" I said running home.


Lewis' P.O.V.

Standing in front of Carter's door, I waited for someone to open. I reminded myself to be calm no matter how mad and irritated she could be. To hold my tongue if she said anything stupid.

"Oh, hey Lewis," said Callum opening the door. I went inside and took off my shoes. "She's upstairs. But beware. I think my mom is inside," he said going back to the kitchen. I went up the unfamiliar stairs in sarch for her bedroom.

"Where did you get this?" said a woman.

"At an amusement park," I heard Carter say. Scared to make a sound, I tiptoed closer to the frist door on the right. I took a quick peek through the door and saw her mother holding a stuffed owl doll. Zelo must have won her that.

"You went to the amusement park? Did you go on the rides?!" her mother yelled.

"So what if I did? Nothing happened to me," she responded. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I shouldn't listen to this. But my curiousity got the better of me.

"You know that your not as strong as the other!"

"It's my heart, not yours! And it's my life, not yours! You can't tell me what to do!" Carter yelled back. "Mom, I just want to be normal. I want to do the things other kids did. I want to have fun. I want to do something with my life!" A pause. Then, she began speaking again. "I can't even tell my friends about it. I'm too scared they'll think I'm sick and weak. Don't worry. I took the medicine."

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