Not the Same

As a child, she had an easy life. A family that loved her, classmates that admired her, and friends that cherished her. After her older sister's death and her best friends' sudden move out of the city, nothing felt the same for her, both physically and mentally. Growing up, she learned how to hide her pain behind her smile. 9 years later, sixteen year old Carter Smith is excited for her friends to come back. But with a new school year comes new classmates. Will the new guys who call themselves JML change how she feels about the friends she has now?
please be warned that this is my first fanfic so... hope you like it :) COPYRIGHT (c)


18. Answer Me

Carter's P.O.V.

The days turned to weeks after Kevin came over to my house, he didn't come in the mornings to come with me to school. Always filled with worry of what I would have done if he it was just the two of us alone together, I leave by myself. Arriving to class, I see him standing with a bunch of his friends. Trying to seen as chill as possible, I give him the most cheerful wave I can give. Waving back, I could see him coming towards me. Acting as though I didn't see him coming, I headed inside the classroom. Lucky for me, the first warning bell rings and everyone in the halls make their way to their classes.

"Hey guys! Good morning Alex and Scarlett!" I said turning around to see the both of them and place my bag on the back of my chair. "Um, Lewis, did you get the math homework?" I asked nervously.

"Yeah. Why?" replied Lewis with a quizzed looked on his face.

"Do you think I could copy it?" I said putting on my best aegyo face. From the corner of my eye I could see Zelo gagging. I punched his arm.

"Stop it. That's gross," said Chris.

"What are you talking about? She looks so cute!" said Scarlett. "But she's no match for me," putting on her most seductive face on.

"God, both of you stop it!" yelled Damian.

"Fine. But, really, can I use it? I just need help with one question and Mr. Hayes is checking our homework. Please? You are the coolest, smartest and most handsome one here," I said to Lewis with a smile.

"Not that what you're saying isn't true, but what did I tell you to call me when you need help?"

"Please guide me with your vast knowledge oh great one," I said in a low voice. God, this guy can't get any more cocky.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you," said Lewis.

"I said, please guide me with you're vast knowledge oh great one!" I half yelled. Pleased with the response, he went to his bag, took out his math binder, and handed me his sheet. "Thanks!"

"Whatever. Just make sure to give it back after this period. Mr. Hayes is probably going to go to the staff room and get some more coffee so give it to me then."

After a boring homeroom, the most nerve-wracking math class of my life, and awkward religion class, It was finally time to have lunch. I got my stuff ready to go to the library to fix my English essay on Macbeth due next period.

"Bye guys! I'll see you later at lunch!" I yelled, trying to gather all of my books, and ran for the door. I didn't even get the chance to hear their responses. Turning the corner heading to the stairs, my heart started hurting like crazy. I've been puching myself too hard again. Trying to get rid of the pain, I took several deep breaths. Feeling the pain leaving, I walked the rest of the way to the library. After fixing the little mistakes, I went down to go to my locker. Passing an empty classroom, I felt someone pull me inside by the hand. I try to scream, but the person has their hand over my mouth.

"Chill, it's just me," said Kevin.

"Oh my goodness, what's up with you? Why did you do this to me?" I yelled in his face.

"I needed a place where just the two of us could talk. Why are you avoiding me? You'd talk to me like normal when there are other  people around, but then when you're by yourself, you'd run away from me. It's not like I bite or anything," he said sounding irritated. "If it's about that kiss, I meant to do it. I don't know why, but I just did. If you didn't like it, then forget it. But please, stop running away from me."

It's not that I didn't like it, I thought, it's just that I don't know what to do with Scarlett know. I remembered the conversation we had that night.



"What are you talking about, mom? Scarlett never came to see us," I said after Kevin left.

"Well she did. She visited for a few minutes, then left saying that she told the both of you that she had to leave early," said mom. If she was here, did she see what just happened?

Sitting in my room, I heard my phone ring. Looking at the caller ID, it was Scarlett calling. Several questions formed, but there was only one tahat I had the courage to say.

"Hey, what's up?" I said trying to act calm. If she didn't ask what just happened, then maybe she didn't see?

"Um, nothing much. Gosh, this is going to sound awkward. Ok, so remember how I told you that I liked Kevin?" Feeling my heart tighten, I remembered how close his face was to mine. How his hot lips felt on my forehead. Not a real kiss, but a kiss nontheless.Guilt washed over me.

"Yeah, what about it?" I responded trying to seem as cool as possible to wash thte guilt away.

"I was wondering if you could help me, you know, get together with him?" she said. Was she really asking me to do this?

"Why me?"

"I think he's much closer to you than he is with me," she said. It may have beeen just me, but there was a bit of venom there. "Maybe you could set up a date for us or something?"

"Um..." What am I supposed to do?


Remembering the promise that I made her, I answered him.

"Kevin, it's not that I didn't like it," I said slowly.

"What do you mean?" he said, a slow smile appearing on his face.

"I really don't know what's happening here. Whether or not I liked it doesn't matter. Even if I wanted to forget it, I couldn't. It's just that I promised a friend something."

"And you can't tell me about it?" he asked.

"I don't want things to get complicated between us. Isn't this friendship good enough? In all honesty, I missed being with you. Not just me and you with other people. I mean just you and me. I just didn't want things to get awkward," I said. I don't want things to get more awkward between us,  I wanted to say. "Why don't we pretend the whole thing never happened?" I suggested. For a second, pain flashed across his face only to be covered up with a sad smile.

"Ok, fine. You always had a knack for getting things your way with me," he said ruffling my hair. "I've got to go get ready for next period. Sorry for pulling you in here. I just needed some answers. And make sure to eat lunch. The period is almost over," he said patting me on the back before making his way to the door.

There he was, walking away with his back facing me. I had the urge to run up to him, wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his back.. But what would I say? Don't go? I need you here with me? I don't even know how I really feel about Kevin. All I knew was that my heart hurt when I watched him leave. How my forehead stung where his lips had been. How happy I would be when he would wait in front of my house to walk me to school. How sad I felt when he told me before that his first crush liked him back.  If only I had noticed the butterflies in my stomach when he was around. I think it may have been too late.


"So, do you think you can help me?" asked Scarlett through the phone.

"Fine, I'll help you get Kevin to like you," I promised.

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