I'm in Love with my Best Friend (One Direction not famous)

An insecure girl who battles bullying, self harm and mental let down in school and home. If that isn't enough pain, she has to see her one and only best friend whom she’s had a crush on forever with another girl, and that girl is her bully. What happens when one day Harry posts a picture of her on a modeling website and she posts a video of him singing on the x factor page? Will their journey lead them to falling in love or will it just cause more trouble?

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3. Chapter 3

Why the hell is Macy calling me? I decided I should answer, I picked up my phone and said “Hello?”

“Listen bitch, I’m not in the mood for hello’s so just listen to me well. The only reason you’re alive is because Harry’s your friend, well ex- friend, but I swear if you do anything to expose me, you won’t be breathing again, you got that?” She said with full anger and seriousness, then she hung up.   

Nothing new, just the normal hate I get everyday. 

You know what’s hurting me the most right now? It’s that if I tell harry, he won’t believe me. Why is this so complicated? Oh yeah, Macy’s involved. 

I didn't go back to school, I spent my time walking by the beach and thinking for about 3 hours. It’s almost 3 now, which means they’re going to be getting out of school. I just want to get away from this, is that possible? Like maybe go to a world of Christmas trees and strawberry covered chocolate, and tiny humans? That would be amazing. Truly incredible. 

My heart sunk as I got a new BBM Alert on my phone. I took it out of my pocket and continued walking as I typed in my password.   

I hate you. :) 

You’re wondering who this is from right? Macy? One of her friends? No, this message is from harry. The one and only harry. 

I’m not surprised, the only thing that’s been happening to me is people just walking away, not keeping their promises, and only thinking about making themselves look cool and popular. Being alone isn't going to bother me, It’s just going to make consider starving myself and cutting more often. 

I sat down for a while and then headed home. I went up to my room to see all my clothes and belongings scattered around the floor. I immediately felt the tears streaming down my face. I fell down to my knees and started crying harder. I looked at the window to see something written on it with my lipstick.   

You room looks better like this, slut. H & M Harry and Macy, who else could it be? I laughed at the fact that their initials together is a store’s name. How can someone just turn on you and completely hate you after some stupid argument that he’s not even sure about? I did nothing wrong, and it hurts how he’d choose his 4 month girlfriend over his best friend of many years. 

The only thing that worried me was my diary, where is it? I couldn't find it! Oh my gosh, i’m panicking! Ok never mind, it’s under my bed. I took it out and made sure it was safe, cause if Harry or Macy found it… let’s just say I won’t be exactly “alive”. 

I rested on my messed up desk and started writing, there’s nothing better that I can do. I’m not apologizing to harry and I’m not going to face Macy. Call me a chicken, but she’s scary. I’m not kidding, she looks like a half chewed up witch.   

January 1st, 2013. It’s a very normal thing for me to get hate, I don’t go around crying about it because I know what to expect. But this time, it wasn't from anyone. It was from my best friend, it’s crazy how I can be his number one enemy in a short period of time. He promised he he won’t leave me whatever the matter is, he promised me he won’t call me names no matter how mad I make him, he promised to be my best friend until we die, he promised to not be like the people who hated on me, and he promised that there would be nothing to cut about. But words are just words until you bring them to live, right? He did exactly what he said he wouldn't do, and I don’t think I want to trust him anymore. To be honest, I never saw harry as the hating scary type, but that make up smudged cake face monkey called Macy changed in just a blink. If she can turn my own best friend away from me, she can do anything to me. I don’t know what to do with my life anymore, I feel like I’m not good enough. I feel like whatever I do, I’m just not going to be accepted. I’m not saying I wanna be expected by Macy and her friends, no. I just want to be excepted to this thing called a social life. But the problem is, i’m too shy. I’m too unappealing, and I’m too ugly. Nothing ever goes well with me, whatever I do i’m just not going to be normal. It’s impossible. You maybe think i’m stupid that all I care about is Harry and blah blah blah. But you know what? He’s been there for me when no one was, he accepted me when everyone started at me and laughed, he comforted me when I needed him, he made me feel like I have a reason to live. Imagine if the reason you’re live, is gone. I’m not overreacting, but this isn't Harry, and no matter what, I don’t think I can see him in the same way. It’s just crazy how I’m still in love with him. It’s crazy how he doesn't see it, and it’s crazy that I have no one right now. Just you, diary. Oh my gosh, I've gone mental. Whatever, I still have you mah lil book. Gosh, I’m talking to a book. I’m going to go shower before I rent a pet frog and make him play hide and seek with me.  I got my clothes and went to the bathroom. I stared at the mirror. Should I do it? I needed to be numb, I don’t wanna feel anything anymore. I’m gonna go for it. I sat in the shower and took the tool I used to cut myself with. I looked at it, with fear and regret. I can’t believe I’m going to do it, but if he can’t keep promises, why should I? I felt the pain that I was hoping i’d never feel a few years back, It brought back all the memories I didn't want to remember and all the feelings I was trying to keep. I started crying as I cut the last one the deepest, then I felt my body weaken and I fell. The tears flooding down like a waterfall, and I had no control over my weak body. Why am I doing this to myself?  I walked out to see another new BBM alert. Harry again?  

You’re such a bitch, how could you do this to me? I regret being your best friend. Forget me. 

Just another perfect reason for me to not exist in this world.    

 

-1 week later-

 

Days past by, he’s still hating on me just like any other person I know other than my family. If you call having 2 parents who don’t care about you a family, then yeah. He’s acting as if he doesn't know my past, he’s acting as if he doesn't know me. It’s January 7th, 9 pm. Very lazy Sunday to be honest. I’m still cutting, still starving, I ate 2 apples this past week and just 5 bottles of water. Good huh? I still feel as if I don’t have a place in this world, and I’m still crazy in love with my best friend. Oh yeah, ex-best friend.  What a perfect night huh? Just me sitting on my bed, with nothing to do. No one to talk to. And no reason to be here. I hate myself too much at the moment. To my surprise, I got a new BBM Alert. It’s probably from harry again. He’s been sending me hate messages for the past week. I hate everything.   

Dylan told me it was Macy, I broke up with her. We need to talk asap, I understand if you hate me but it’s important. Please. 

My heart sunk reading the message, thoughts were rushing through my head and my heart dropped to the floor. What now? 

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