Pain is Insanity

Rae is insane or so it seems. In an asylum she explains to a boy she has just met, her story. Why she is there - romance, betrayal, murder, insanity. This is not a love story. It's a story of madness.


4. Brink of insanity

"Im sorry. I didn't know. I love you now." I whispered.
"Too Late." He snarled at me and I stared at him as he walked away and something inside me snapped. The next day at Theatre, I don't know what happened. Jack was on the wires about twenty feet in the air. There is a metal pin that is needed in order for the wired to be released so that the person on the wires can come down. I saw it and I took the pin. I just took it. I am not a thief but I didn't think it would do any harm. Then I saw the little red box on the wall. Without thinking, I smashed the glass and instantaneously the fire alarm went off and so did the sprinklers. Nobody noticed Jack struggling to get down, wrthing in the air; nobody had been supervising. I stood on the stage and shouted at him. "Sorry to inconvenience you but I am terminating this relationship."
"You're mad! You're insane! Help me please! I'm sorry, I would take it back if I could!" This was a lie. He was pure evil. He was only sorry while I had the power.
"Too late." I smirked and I turned around. I was walking away then I heard a crash. The water had rusted the metal harness and loosened the ropes. It had twisted and the rope had snapped. He had fallen fifteen feet and through the trap door, floorboards into the understage. I clambered up and eased myself through the hole in the floor. Jack's legs were trapped beneath a wooden timber and his back was arched in an awkward position. I sat beside him, emotionless. He moved his eyes to me because he couldn't move his neck and he opened his mouth and he laughed. He laughed.
"Guess what, you just murdered me. Enjoy the rest of your life. Let it be on your head." He closed his eyes, "you murdered me."
His words pounded through my head. They attacked me from every corner and soon my vision blurred. Blackness edged its way from the corners of my eyes until I fell to the floor.


We were in court. Danny and Calvin were there. Calvin embraced me, said it was his fault...that if he had believed me about Jack, none of this would have happened. I pushed him away. I shouted at them both, asking why they had kept the fact that they were all brothers a secret from me. According to Danny, Jack had threatened them both and they didn't know why but if they even mentioned it, he would make their lives a misery. I didn't know what to say. I nodded and Calvin kissed me on the cheek before sitting in a reserved chair with his brother and father. My lawyer managed to plead insanity so that I wouldn't go to jail. Unfortunatly it meant I ended up here. He said I didn't know what I was doing, that I had brain damage and was oblivious. That part was right. When I had collapsed, I had hit my head on a beam and damaged my brain, it wasn't serious but it had caused slight damage to my way of thinking. But when I did it, I was not insane. I knew what I was doing. I murdered him and I haven't been able to feel emotions ever since; a side effect from the brain damage. I can't tell the difference between good and bad, love and hate. It is only since I met you, Something, that I have started to feel...bad things. Not about you. You have just...triggered things and yet I still cannot feel happiness, love, content.....I am not me anymore. I am a murderer."

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