Wrists Like Paper

Alexandria or Alex as she preferred to be called, has been spending her teenage years using her wrists as careless pieces of paper. Cut after cut she made her wrists into works of art. People look at her wrists and notice the cuts but they wouldn't say anything. That's what irritated her the most. The fact that they wouldn't say anything. If they noticed why didn't they say anything, tell her everything that's wrong with her, tell her what they think, just to say anything. All she wanted. Just for someone to actually tell her what they thought. Don't just stare at her like shes a freak tell her something! But what will happen when she meets Harry Styles? Will he help her? Will he tell her what he's thinking? Will he fall in love with the girl with paper for wrists?

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4. At Home

 "Bye loser, see you tomorrow!", the bus driver called out to me. I walked to my house and unlocked the door. It was 4:30 pm, the concert was in 4 hours. My mum gets home at 6 and knowing her she's gonna want to get to the stadium early. We'll probably be the first ones there, we usually are when it comes to concerts. I was still planning my suicide, but decided to take a break from it. I walked upstairs and into my room. I went back over to my mirror to see how I had looked all day. Horrible, of course. I sat down and just stared at myself disgusted. Why did I look like this? I thought we all were created in gods image, like why am I like this? I felt fat. I went into the bathroom and weighed myself. 95lbs, too much. I'm a senior in high school, I'm 17, I'm 5'6, and I'm 95lbs. So much for beauty and being skinny. I ran back into my room and cried. I searched frantically through my drawer for the knife. I found it and took no time looking for a free space to cut, I just did it. Over all the scabs and fresh cuts, I carved. I carved "FAT" into my left leg, and "UGLY" into the other one. I carved "WORTHLESS" on the back of my wrist on the vein, then "USELESS" into the other backside of my other wrist. Then I cut all over the front of the wrist on both hand. The floor underneath me became a bloody mess. I couldn't stop cutting though, I just felt like it was right to do. Over and over until my hands hurt from holding the knife and continuously throwing the knife at my skin. I set the knife down on the floor. I cried. I looked at the time, it was 5 pm. I had cut for 30 minutes straight. Oh well, it felt good. Then I sat and watched the blood, unstopping, running out of my wrists, arms, and legs. I hadn't even realized that I had took off my pants before cutting my legs. I was so desperate to cut that I just threw them off. I had tons of homework, I grabbed my rucksack and took out all the work. I started on math, it wasn't hard. But my mind kept drifting to the concert. What will the boys think of me? Will they laugh? Will they be frightened? Will they even notice me? All of these questions were making it hard to focus on math. Somehow i finished it, then moved on to language art. All we had to do was write an essay on what inspires us to be drug free. Apparently a lot of kids are doing drugs now and so they want us to write about our above the influenced lives. It was stupid. What was I gonna write about though? Music keeps me above it, I could do that. I started writing and in an 45 minutes, I had all 400 words. It was simple. Now all I had to do was label a few things in social studies. 

 When I got done with that I heard my mum outside. I ran into the shower and started washing quickly. I knew she wasn't gonna wanna be late to this. I heard her open the door and yell "Hurry up, we leave in 30 minutes". God the concert wasn't until 8:30, no need to leave 2 hours in advance. Anyway I finished my shower and blow dried my hair. Then I teased my bangs and put on the usual makeup only a bit heavier, it fit the mood. Now it was outfit time. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a long sleeve,black and white, skull dress that came to my knees, and I put on black, tights underneath it. Then I put on my black doc martins. I looked in the mirror and brushed through my hair one last time before running downstairs. "Okay babe, are you sure you don't need a coat, it's winter?", my mum said. "I'm fine mum, now lets go", I said as we rushed out the door.

 We live close to the arena that they are playing at so we got there at 6:45 pm. 

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